Copywriting Makeover: Making An Emotional Connection - Part 1 of 2

One statistic shows that over 80% of all buying decisions are emotional. That means your copywriting should be, too. This is something I firmly believe in and have preached for most of my copywriting career. However, all too often, I find people skipping the vital step of making an emotional connection with their customers. That can be a tragic, and costly, mistake.

Thats why I was excited when I had the opportunity to rewrite the homepage copy for a vacation cruise service. While the copy they used previously gave all the details and got them a good number of bookings, it just didnt have what it takes to make me start daydreaming about my next cruise. It didnt but it was about to!

The Problems

The previous copy on the Cruise Vacation Center home page faced a couple of challenges. (You can view the original copy at this link: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/CruiseVacationCenter-Original.pdf.) The copy was very company-oriented instead of customer-oriented. It talked about who Cruise Vacation Center (CVC) is, why the visitor should buy from them, and some wonderful benefits CVC offers its clients including excellent bargain rates and extra discounts. However, all the verbiage was geared toward the company. The customer was left out.

The home page copy also lacked emotion. It was very matter-of-fact. In addition to making visitors aware of the wonderful prices and deals CVC offered, I wanted to create a vision for the site visitors. I wanted to give them what they needed in order to float off into a daydream about fabulous ports-of-call; warm, gentle breezes; and thrilling adventures.

While I was painting a picture of the vacation of a lifetime, I also had to be sure to include a vital fact. CVCs business plan was set up to be most affordable for the customer when s/he booked online. Without sounding rude, I had to do everything in my power to get the site visitor to book their cruise vacation while at the site. This was an extremely important issue and a point that needed to be woven throughout the copy.

Lastly, the page had to uphold Cruise Vacation Centers excellent search engine rankings. They were ranked at the top of several major engines, and the rewritten copy couldnt jeopardize their positioning.

The Solutions

The first step was, without question, to woo the site visitors with delightful fantasies about their next vacation. My goal was to conjure up all sorts of visions in the minds of Cruise Vacation Centers visitors. I wanted the visitors to be dreaming of exotic places with lots of fun things to do, interesting sights to see, and 24/7 access to gourmet meals that rival any five-star restaurant. I wanted their blood pressure to drop 10 points just from reading about the onboard staff of hundreds who would pamper them with VIP treatment. After reading this copy, I wanted them ready to leave on vacation today! However, I also had to persuade them to book online rather than calling CVCs office.

During the rewrite, I had to carefully plan the use of their primary keyphrase, cruise vacation, so as not to disrupt their most reliable source of business the search engines. After all, there is a delicate balance between pleasing the search engines and appealing to site visitors.

If I leaned too much toward the search engine side of the equation, the conversion ratio of the home page would suffer. In other words, Cruise Vacation Center would get lots of visitors, but few of them would book cruises.

If I leaned too much toward the customer side of the equation, CVCs rankings would plummet, and they would need to find a new way to drive qualified traffic to their site. As is normally the case with SEO copywriting, balance was going to be vital.

In the conclusion to this two-part series, youll see how I handled the rewrite and what the end results of all the work were. Curious to see the new copy? Youll find it on CVCs site: You can see the new copy on CVCs site at http://www.cruisevacationcenter.com.

Karon Thackston © 2004

About The Author

Copy not getting results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors at http://www.copywritingcourse.com. Be sure to also check out Karons latest e-report How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your Copy) at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/keyword.

IF PUBLISHING ON A WEBSITE, USE THIS RESOURCE BOX:

Copy not getting results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors with The Step-by-Step Copywriting Course. Be sure to check out Karons latest e-report How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your Copy), too!

---

Traffics Nice... But Whos Driving?

In the competitive marketplace of the new millennium, the demand... Read More

Crank Out More Articles More Often With An Article Swipe File

If you write copy you need a swipe file. A... Read More

3 Steps to Great Copy

Nothing irritates me more than being told that there are... Read More

How To Personalize Your Headlines For Increased Profits!

Personalizing your headlines to your target audience can significantly improve... Read More

Why Copywriting Is The Secret To Your Online Success

Over the last decade, the number of companies selling their... Read More

Professional Writing: Six Great Reasons to Hire a Writer

Most people can write. Some can even write well. But... Read More

Long Copy versus Short Copy

When I show some people my advertisements, I sometimes get... Read More

Can Anyone Succeed as a Freelance Copywriter?

This is a question that can be answered in a... Read More

Pulling Sales with Your Ad Copy

One of the best marketing tools available to your internet... Read More

Is Your Web Copy Plain Talk?

It's true, we were all taught in school to express... Read More

Top 7 Things To Do Before You Hire A Copywriter

Now that you've decided to hire a copywriter, how do... Read More

Working on the Internet: Role of Proofreading and Copy editing OnLine

When one is in a creative state, rarely can one... Read More

Ad Copy - Your 12 Point Inspection!

You're ready to launch that new product or promotion, &... Read More

Common Mistakes That Can Kill Your Web Copy

Sometimes learning what not to do is as important as... Read More

Want a Sticky Site That Sells? Forget Content!

An interesting debate is currently raging among copywriters, web designers... Read More

Freelance Technical Writers - How Much Are You Worth?

Where can you find out about freelance technical writing pay?... Read More

Your USP is Useless

One of the keys to writing good marketing copy is... Read More

Discover Your Creativity

You have a choice. Do you want to be constructive... Read More

How To Write Direct Mail That Really, Really Works!

So, you have something you want to sell. It may... Read More

So Youve Decided to Hire a Freelance Copywriter - A Guide to the Collaboration Process

Whether you're an executive or a small business owner, chances... Read More

Lapsed Donors: How to Write a Fundraising Letter That Wins Them Back

Your definition may differ, but I define a lapsed donor... Read More

5 Deadly Copywriting Mistakes That Kill Sales

Chances are that you are making many, if not all,... Read More

Quotations as Expressions in Life

Quotations are expressions, usually in the spoken form or in... Read More

Magic Words That Sell and What Words to Avoid

We all know words are powerful. Whether written or spoken,... Read More

How Writing Radio Can Help You Become a Better Writer

Knowing how to write, and write well, is a skill... Read More

Calls-To-Action: Making Them Fit Makes All the Difference

It was going so well, so what happened? Many copywriters... Read More

Five Steps To Online Copywriting Success

One of the most important priorities of evey online business... Read More

Writing For Sex Markets

Many professional freelancers will go their entire career without ever... Read More

Business Writing: When Not To Be Professional

It's time to write your next ad or brochure. Maybe... Read More

Health and Fitness: A Huge Industry in Need of Writers

Think about how much you read about and spend on... Read More

What A Ghostwriter Needs To Do To Earn Top Dollar

The huge demand for writers online is really for ghostwriters.... Read More

How to Negotiate Rates with a Freelance Copywriting Expert

Lots of people who seek out my copywriting services are... Read More

10 Tips for Aspiring Freelance Copywriters

Every week I receive a couple of emails from people... Read More