Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!)

When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client..oh, so easy...:-)

  • Let Me Tell You About My Day
    Coaching is about the client and NOT about the coach, usually. Sometimes a coaching experience might be worth a share if a coachee is stuck ? but not usually. It's all about them ? not you. Honour that.
  • Well, You're Just Useless Aren't You!
    It's bad enough to criticise them for their past ? but this reinforces their own self-doubt about their future. You have even taken away their hope for goodness sakes. A coach's role is to enable potential and open the client's eyes to possibilities. Not slam it shut.
  • You Think You've Got Problems - Well, Let Me Tell You?
    OK, so you've got some issues you are facing yourself. Sorry about that. In a coaching context, you are there to support and grow the client ? not devalue what is truly on their mind, by filling it up with your issues. You can share them ? but on your time, not theirs.
  • What I'd Do is This?
    Now this is very tempting ? and sometimes ('Stop coaching me for a minute, throw me a rope!') it might, just might be acceptable ? yes, I have done it myself! But in the main, the coach's job is to extract the greatness out of the client and then build on their abilities and confidence going forward.
  • Sit Down and Shut Up, I've Got Something to Say
    No, we haven't quite got the hang of this here, have we? Coaching is about listening, more especially, really hearing and asking some challenging questions - maybe. Even listening is all some clients need ? they process solutions as they talk ? it's remarkable. So how does the line above help that? Not at all.
  • Well, You've Wasted the Last 20 Years of your Life then Haven't You?
    Spot the mistake here then? Everyone in the world has value, often untapped and often hidden under piles and piles of history and baggage. Your job is to help them rise above it ? NOT to stick another six of the best Samsonite's on the top!
  • Excuse Me if I Just Check my E-mail While You're Talking
    Ever done two things at once? In the case of a coaching relationship, trust and focus are vital to build the relationship. If you are doing something else when talking to the client, you are not giving your full attention, whether the discussion is on the phone or face to face. Make sure there are no interruptions or distractions.
  • I'm Not Interested in What's Causing the Problem ? Let's Just Fix it Fast
    You could do this?but where will they come next time for a solution. Yes, to you. So when will this stop? When can you get on with your own job? When you take the time to build their ability to solve their own problems ? that's when. It requires questions and a 'blame-free' culture. And it requires a coaching style.
  • I'll Tell You What Your Problem is?
    Go on then, do it. This takes a punch at what their weaknesses are and not their strengths. People already know where their weaknesses are, believe me. Coaches build on strengths and leverage them to cope with areas that the client finds more challenging.
  • Can I Call You for a Date?
    Just for fun this one. But with a serious side. It is challenging to have a professional relationship and have other things on your mind. It is quite hard to be very objective if there are other distractions ? so take care in this area. Though coaching in Starbucks would be my idea of bliss! Oh, yes - and according to the International Coach Federation, quite understandably, it's unethical.

    The constructive way to use this is to take the opposite courses of action to those listed - then you will have the foundation of a valuable coaching relationship with your client, privately or in your workplace.

    Copyright 2005 Accredited by the ICF, Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. He works worldwide, mainly by phone, with small business owners, managers and corporate leaders. He has hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.co m. (Note to editors. Feel free to use this article, wherever you think it might be of value - it would be good if you could include a live link)

    ...helping you, to help your people, to help your business grow...

    In The News:

    • pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work

    Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More

    Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

    Recently, I worked with a client who was having a... Read More

    Two Leadership Strategies: Don?t Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach

    Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under... Read More

    Attitude is Contagious - Would Anybody Want Yours?

    Are you using the Life Potential you have been given?... Read More

    Be The One With Something Interesting To Say

    How Do You Learn Something New?If you could learn fast... Read More

    How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique

    Do you ever find that when a friend asks for... Read More

    4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting

    Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide... Read More

    Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief!

    For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war... Read More

    Difficult Challenges? -- What If?

    Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More

    The X-factor

    Would you agree that today most of us have the... Read More

    How Do You Build Momentum in Your Business and Life?

    A few weeks ago at a "Leadership from the Ground... Read More

    Success Coaching - What Bill Gates and You Should Have In Common

    He was just a teenager, but he was already displaying... Read More

    The Self Development Tool Box

    Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a... Read More

    Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward

    Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all... Read More

    Surviving the Workday in Your Organization

    Most people suffer from stress at some time during the... Read More

    Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring

    "Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they... Read More

    How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health

    You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating.... Read More

    Get Coached!

    Coaching is a hot trend at a growing number of... Read More

    Communicating Anger Compassionately

    Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More

    Action NOT Reaction

    Do you feel you are in charge of your life... Read More

    Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People

    1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and... Read More

    Your Personal Treasure Chest

    Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic... Read More

    Value Based Leadership Coaching

    What can I do to be a better coach? The... Read More

    7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

    WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never... Read More

    A World of Possibility

    When I started my sales career over 25 years ago,... Read More

    Addiction to Worry

    Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She... Read More

    Business Career Executive Coaching Article -Motivator, Discipline and Desire

    "There is a certain combination of desire and discipline in... Read More

    Mind the Gap

    The underground train in London can get you anywhere when... Read More

    What The Buddha Says About Coaches

    There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More

    Who Are You Mixing It With?

    I talk and write a lot about Life Design ?... Read More

    Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression

    As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they... Read More

    Using Audio Programs to Increase Your Knowledge and Productivity

    If you do any significant amount of driving, a simple... Read More

    How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part B for Business!

    My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More