Two Leadership Strategies: Don?t Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach

Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under a ton of pressure? Are you trying too hard to make something work and focusing too much on trying to fulfill other people's needs and expectations? You may have "lost your mind!"

My small still voice often speaks to me in cryptic one-liners. I'll never forget the first time I heard the quiet whisper, "You've lost your mind." And no, I had not lost my mind through hearing strange voices! Rather, this cryptic one-liner was reminding me I was trying too hard to fulfill other people's expectations and solve their problems.

This cryptic statement harkened back to an article I had read by Management Consultant, Barry Oshry. This article referred to Middle Managers who begin their careers as healthy humans but in time become confused, weak, powerless and self-doubting as they slide into the 'Middle Space' becoming torn between demands from the people Above and Below? hence "losing their mind."

At that time I had taken on a new contract to facilitate a six week "Leadership" series for a local college. In my anxiety to do a good job I was trying too hard to emulate the program designer's "superior knowledge" and trying hopelessly to solve the high-stress, workplace problems of the managers who were my participants. Of course, I knew I had the necessary skills and experience to facilitate this series yet, I had "lost my mind."

Focusing on other's needs and expectations removed me from my own knowledge and power. My stress elevated and my self-confidence plummeted. Thankfully, that gentle nudge of "you've lost your mind" helped me see how I was eroding myself through comparing myself and worrying about what other people thought, wanted or needed. This is our cue to stop, step back inside and reconnect with our own truth ? our own God.

In doing this we step back into our own authenticity and own power. Here we can reformulate our own view, thoughts and perspectives on what is happening and what we need. We can let go of the guilt and self-doubt we feel in trying to meet other's expectations or in trying to solve their problems. We can relax and trust in our Higher Power always there for us.

Certainly, as leaders, managers, family members and humans we have a responsibility to listen and empathize with those in our close circle but it is not our job to solve their problems or fulfill their expectations? which is all a part of the coaching process. Rather than striving to give other people answers, everyone concerned is better served if we instead help others to reflect on their own solutions or options. This is what it means to be a coach.

Be a Coach

We can let people know we care about their situation and that we are willing to work with them to empower them to solve their own problem. We can listen, empathize and ask pertinent questions all of which encapsulates the art of coaching. After carefully listening to and empathizing with another's problem you might consider asking some of the following questions if they seem appropriate:

"Have you ever had a similar situation in your life and found something that worked? What options do you have in this circumstance? That's one possibility, any others? What outcome do you want? What really matters here? Would it help to break this into smaller steps? What do you need to change or to move this forward? What is standing in the way? What other people or resources could help you? What steps can you take from here? What will you do and by when? Would you like me to hold you accountable for your commitments?"

Be careful not to turn coaching into a probing session! Always be respectful and gentle with others and of course, yourself. Remember if you are feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence or you are trying too hard you may have "lost your mind." Let go of comparing and trying to meet other's expectations and needs. Trust yourself and be a coach!

Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.

---

Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

Recently, I worked with a client who was having a... Read More

Who Do You Talk To?

Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or... Read More

Life Coaching for Success and Fulfilment

We live in a world of rapid change and uncertainty.... Read More

The Best Things in Life Are Rarely Things

Have you ever noticed this to be true?The best things... Read More

Integrating Life and Work

Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and... Read More

Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them

1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself... Read More

Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important

Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets,... Read More

Theres Always Enough Time!

I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind... Read More

Five Steps to Vocational Passion: A Disciplined Plan for Major Mid-life Changes

There's a famous song lyric that asks: "Is that all... Read More

How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future

Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have,... Read More

The American Dream ? Are We Really Free?

The promises of THE AMERICAN DREAM (to have it all... Read More

Creating Supportive Environments

I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café... Read More

Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!

When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too... Read More

Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant

Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I... Read More

What Do You Really Want ?

Being a coach is such a rewarding profession. The enormous... Read More

Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....

Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when... Read More

Your Mindset Determines Your Success in Life

To keep at the top of your game you have... Read More

How To Overcome Stuck States In Personal Growth

Although many of us use self-help tools like affirmations, visualizations,... Read More

Why Therapy Fails Sometimes

I saw a couple for marriage counseling this week, and... Read More

Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV,... Read More

Personal Core Values: Your Key to Success and Happiness

Each of us has our own set of personal values;... Read More

Eureka! I?ve Found It!

OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal.... Read More

Progress Reviews: Your Key To Effective Coaching

One of the most effective ways to help your staff... Read More

What is Life Coaching?

An recent article in Money Magazine said that "A coach... Read More

Become More Self-Confident

Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More

Build Your People Skills

How would you like to get along even better with... Read More

The Need to Feel Special

From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was... Read More

Six Steps for Creating Work-Life Balance

Today an increasing number of us are experiencing burnout, low... Read More

Several Red Flags for Spotting a Phony or Scam

The world is full of phonies and scammers these days.... Read More

Help! I Need to Make a Decision!

Many people who come to my office say they have... Read More

Coaching for Results

He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He... Read More

Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice?

Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important... Read More

New Definition of Retirement

A new definition of retirement is evolving. It's one that's... Read More