Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.

At the time, I did not know I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure. I kept making the same mistakes without even noticing what I was doing wrong.

You may be doing the same thing.

Here are three common mistakes together with tips on how to deal with them:

1. Judging Your Performance Against Unrealistic Standards

Be honest with yourself.

Accept that where you are now in terms of your communication skills is only your starting point - not your finishing point.

And assess your performance and your progress against your typical level of effectiveness. Not against some desired state of perfection or ultimate goal.

Goals are very important as a destination to aim for but do not use long term goals as a standard to judge your current performance against - that is a recipe for disillusionment and massive frustration.

I know. Because I tried it!

2. The Failure To Learn Each Day

As people we can be lazy. This means that a lack of follow through on our goals can go unnoticed. After all we can always catch up some other day.

This attitude will kill your dreams faster than you can spell failure.

When I started to make massive improvements in how I related to people I dedicated myself to becoming excellent.

Once I had proven strategies the rest was easy. I just applied the material each day. I improved each day because I made it a priority and because I committed to applying the material.

Now...

I also know people who learned the same peak performance strategies I learned. Today they are no farther ahead than they were years ago.

How did they pull that off?

By putting it off until another day and by neglecting to use what they had learned. Implementation is crucial.

If you do this your progress is a certainty.

3. Attempting To Be Original

Many years ago I put myself under huge pressure by expecting myself to be original with each person I met.

This is a sure-fire strategy for failure and a great way to get stressed out for no reason.

Guess what I later discovered?

There is no need to be original. You can have the same conversation all day long with different people and nobody will suspect a thing!

People are happy to talk about mundane topics because there is no effort involved.

I have lived or worked in several countries including Ireland, England, Germany, Holland, Spain and the U.S.

And everywhere I have been people are happy to talk all day about:

• the weather

• their children

• the new movie

• the family pet

• the boss

• the traffic

You get the idea!

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

---

Hows Your Self-Talk?

You know, what are you saying to yourself? There's always... Read More

Potential

One of the most often mis-understood aspects of self-development is... Read More

Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs

I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it... Read More

Being an Emotional Victim

None of us like to think of ourselves as victims.... Read More

Great Advice

It never ceases to amaze me that every time I... Read More

Boost Your Self-Esteem

What Is Self-Esteem?Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself.... Read More

How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future

Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have,... Read More

5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution

That one guy at work that always has to be... Read More

Integrating Life and Work

Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and... Read More

Can Versus Cant

It is my personal opinion that there are two words... Read More

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.It's a... Read More

Tips for Writing Great Coaching E-Books

Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of... Read More

The Incredible Rightness of Being

An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has... Read More

Surviving the Workday in Your Organization

Most people suffer from stress at some time during the... Read More

Enhancing Life for a Lifetime

Do you often feel lonely, anxious, or even depressed? Is... Read More

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and... Read More

Executive Coaching

The higher you climb the ladder in this organization, the... Read More

4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever

Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to... Read More

Value Based Leadership Coaching

What can I do to be a better coach? The... Read More

Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People

1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and... Read More

What Is A Personal Trainer

Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in... Read More

Make Progress Now: Take the Hand Brakes Off Your Life!

Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making... Read More

The Power of Storytelling

Each and every day as we are building our businesses,... Read More

The Rewards and Risks Of Personal Freedom

We all need to decide whether to "play it safe"... Read More

Working With Choices

Despite our skills, experience or expertise we can still make... Read More

Coaching for Success

Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance... Read More

Permission To Have FUN

? Have you been working long hours? ? Have... Read More

Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief!

For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war... Read More

3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do

Small talk used to be really hard work for me.... Read More

Saying NO to Good Opportunities!

Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago,... Read More

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be... Read More

HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor

IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the... Read More

Bringing Forgiveness Down To Earth

What does it mean to forgive?One of the first things... Read More