How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips

When a conversation is not working out there is the potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough depending on how you look at it.

1. Question your assumptions about the other person

Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on rumors that have no basis in reality. You may be unfairly judging the other person and filtering every word he speaks because of a false image of who he really is.

Have you ever harshly judged someone and found out later you were completely in the wrong? Make sure you are not making the same mistake again.

2. Ask for clarification

Ask the other person to fill in the gaps that are causing you to lose your grasp on the train of thought.

Asking questions demonstrates your interest in a positive outcome and is to be encouraged. Never worry about looking stupid for asking for more information. The smartest people value information and are always ready to ask for more.

3. Are you really listening?

Check that you are really paying attention and not just pretending to be. Change your posture, pay close attention to how the other person is talking and demand more of yourself.

Become more attentive simply by choosing to be.

4. Address the issue directly

Be direct and say aloud that you feel the conversation is not working out. Often the other person will agree and together the two of you will be able to work to correct the situation.

Two minds are better than one!

5. Ask for help

If you often have trouble conversing with a particular person get advice from someone that knows the other person. Very often by doing this you will get new insights you can act on right away.

And someone who is removed from the situation will have the objectivity you need to make sense of the chaos you have created.

6. Take a break

Sometimes the timing just is not right. Reschedule the conversation for a later time when you are better prepared, more rested or not as distracted by other issues.

Forcing something to work out when the odds are stacked against you is difficult and often unnecessary. Get back to it later when you are feeling more capable and you will make better decisions and with less effort.

7. Aim for good not perfect

Sometimes we hold such high standards for ourselves that we can never win. If you demand 100 per cent success at all times you are setting yourself up for constant disappointment. Do your best and aim to learn and improve from every experience.

Be kinder to yourself and you will be more relaxed in all of your dealings with other people. And ironically your performance will improve because you are not being so hard on yourself.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

peter1510@hotmail.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


We Are the Five People We Associate with Most

Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More

Corporate Coaching - Why Coach? C(5)+ED

Is it possible to make a strong "business case for... Read More

An Example of Allowing a Desire to Arrive on Its Own

I don't know why, but it seems we trip over... Read More

How to Hire a Coach

Improve Your Life! How to Hire A Coach.A reader writes,... Read More

Flying in the Slow Lane

Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as... Read More

4 Underused Hot Spots for Your Personal Branding Iron

I'll never forget what my mentor told me: "Don't communicate... Read More

Tips for Writing Great Coaching E-Books

Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of... Read More

The Pitfalls of Procrastination

We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes... Read More

Coaching: YOU Can Improve Your Organizations Performance

GOOD BUSINESS COACHING: Clearly, the right kind of coaching can... Read More

Live Healthy - Six Steps To A Healthy Life

Six steps we can take to reduce our risks for... Read More

How To Overcome Stuck States In Personal Growth

Although many of us use self-help tools like affirmations, visualizations,... Read More

Why Things Are The Way They Are

Things are the way you think they are, because you... Read More

Great Advice

It never ceases to amaze me that every time I... Read More

Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior

When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were... Read More

Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

Do you know an individual at work who is a... Read More

Nourishing Your Network

It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than... Read More

Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler

Many people use their sofa and TV to help them... Read More

A Murder Mystery Puzzle for You to Solve

Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More

I Give Free Consultations... So, Why Dont They Hire Me?

I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More

Skills for Change

The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More

101 Winning Choices

Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More

Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided... Read More

Some Business Coaches are in Error

Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More

After July 8, Pay This Amount

You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a... Read More

Parts that Make the Whole? or Not

There are many parts that make up you.There's the Musical... Read More

Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles... Read More

Throw a No-Heat Party for the Planet

Is it really possible to have loads of fun, and... Read More

More Money & Less Stress?

At 2pm last Wednesday, I got a call from one... Read More

Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD

For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a... Read More

Discover The Coach Within You

One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over

God must love Top Ten lists because she made so... Read More

Lovers Remorse

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29,... Read More

Are You Seduced by The Dark Side of Wealth Creation? Get-Rich-Quick Scammers

With the growing number of expert business people, consultants and... Read More