3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do

Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not to exchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with the other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person and go fishing for what you have in common. When you are genuinely interested in other people they will respond positively to your questions and to the way you listen to what they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a great conversationalist and become a detective searching for commonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the other person will like you and feel as if they have known you for some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feel as if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself first without getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause the other person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing and receiving in this way allows you to take charge of any conversation and to easily lead it where you want to go.

3. Aim to control the conversation.

If you can lead a conversation you can control it. You now know how to lead any conversation - give first and watch the other person respond.

Most people will follow your lead right away. If the person does not just move on to someone else.

Never shoot for 100% with people as its not a realistic goal. Life does not work like that.

And remember...

The key to success with these distinctions is to use them, play with them and then adjust them to suit you.

For the sake of 10-15 minutes a day, every day, you can progressively get better and better at making conversation.

Its not rocket science. Its just a matter of strategy - knowing it and using it.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

---

12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills

Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning... Read More

Automatic Brain Works Overtime For You

Use all of your brain to be your most effective."Running... Read More

Why Don?t You Just Stuff It ALL?

You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage,... Read More

Integrating Life and Work

Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and... Read More

Leadership Coaching ? Easier Said Than done

Recently at a Pharmaceutical meeting in Europe, one of the... Read More

Who Do You Talk To?

Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or... Read More

Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For

Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort... Read More

Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...

Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only... Read More

Build Your People Skills

How would you like to get along even better with... Read More

Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work

Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More

The Power of Storytelling

Each and every day as we are building our businesses,... Read More

Developing Will Power and Self Discipline

Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won... Read More

Difficult Challenges? -- What If?

Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More

Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great

Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and... Read More

Two Pillows and One Dead Husband

That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my... Read More

What You See is What You Get

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only... Read More

Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation

There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be... Read More

Invest Your Inner Wealth

It started out like any other Wednesday - reports to... Read More

What Are Your Priorities?

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want... Read More

Are You Addicted to Anger?

Michael was raised in a home where anger was used... Read More

Value Based Leadership Coaching

What can I do to be a better coach? The... Read More

Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation

With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium,... Read More

How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future

Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have,... Read More

What Do You Really Want ?

Being a coach is such a rewarding profession. The enormous... Read More

Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV,... Read More

Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?

How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More

You Are Never Trapped!

"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka... Read More

Your Personal Treasure Chest

Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic... Read More

THE Step to Working Smarter (Japanese Style)

Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected... Read More

Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided... Read More

Eureka! I?ve Found It!

OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal.... Read More

Could You Be A Workaholic?

If you need to put on boots and grab a... Read More

What is the Success Lesson in this Story?

One of my clients gave me permission to tell you... Read More