Recreating Yourself

So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you're standing at a fork in the road and where you'd like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you're just really bored with your life as you've been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can't help us with.

Your wife thinks you drink too much and should quit. Your parents think you screw off too much and need to pull better grades. Your boss thinks you're a slacker and you need to be more professional. If the people in your life are hammering you to change, then it may be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. To some extent you have to be open to the idea that they may be right. However, they aren't you. They can't walk in your shoes. Nobody can completely totally understand another person. Only you really know what is right for you. Only you can pick your path in life, who you choose to walk with along the way, and what kind of person you are while traveling. Some people are misunderstood visionary geniuses. Others are simply rebellious and lazy. Most of us fall somewhere in between. You cannot let others dictate who or what you are to become. The choice to recreate yourself must come from within.

Now if you've looked deep within and you've decided that you want to change because you would be happier, then it's time to start. My personal moment came when I realized that I was only twenty-five and was never ever going to fall in love again and was going to be shattered and heartbroken for another fifty years or so before I'd finally get to roll over and die. A very morbid thought I know, but that's exactly my point. At some point you do the math asking yourself, "If I stay just like this - on this path - with this mindset - with this income level - with these people surrounding me - with this lifestyle - How will my life look in five years? In ten? In fifty?" It can be an incredibly sobering and depressing answer.

Mine was, so I made a decision to change who I was so that the next fifty years would at least be different with a chance of happiness. I think we can safely assume that if you're reading this, then you aren't one of those people who is happily moving through life on a path they love, with people they love, and an attitude that is a joy to behold. If that is you, thank you! Please continue to role model it for everyone else and whenever possible cheer someone on as they make the changes to do the same. As for the rest of us who've hit that point where after analysis we've decided to make a fresh start as someone else other than who we are, where do we start?

The first thing I would recommend is looking at your natural gifts. In some other articles I've given some exercises and such to find some of the core pieces of yourself. It doesn't matter if you take some of those personality tests like the Meyers-Briggs or any others. The idea is that there are certain core aspects of ourselves that are never really going to change very much. For example, you like to work alone or as part of a team. You may be extremely introverted or extroverted. You may be incredibly musical or you may be very mathematical. Whatever the gifts and challenges you were born with are what they are. Recreating yourself isn't about denying the root of who you are. It's about molding and shaping the other things like attitude and such.

I wanted to become one of those people who had lots of self-confidence and was dynamic and bubbly. I wanted to be one of those people who could laugh out loud at a joke and not feel self-conscious that I might sound like a donkey - hee haaaaaw!! Along with picking a new career path that flattered my real skills and the lifestyle I wanted to move towards, I began pretending that I was one of those women who walked tall and proud. I pretended that people liked me and found me fascinating. I pretended that I had my act together. There came a day about a year later when I realized that I wasn't faking it anymore. I've been quite a character ever since!

Now a word of warning... sometimes the people who knew us before we made all of the personal changes refuse to see us as new and improved. That's especially true of family members. They knew you when you were a whiny kid. They knew you when you went through that really bad divorce and turned into a real nutcase. Sometimes they have their own ugly issues to work out and are bitter that you are role modeling positive changes. This is easier said then done, but believe me when I say this - It's none of your business what they think of you. You didn't change yourself so that they would like you better. You changed so that you would like you better. Hold your head up high and laugh out loud with confidence and joy. Don't allow anyone to take your new life away from you.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness.

To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.

Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

---

How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos

As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation... Read More

Courage and the Agony of Coaching Employees

Coaching employees on sensitive and personal topics like performance or... Read More

Whats Next Syndrome

Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are... Read More

How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part A for Attitude!

My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More

Choosing The Right Coach

Coaching has become a very popular way for people to... Read More

7 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

1. Get a life purpose statement.A well thought out life... Read More

The Right Time and Place

(Channelled)Roy?I am sending you this quote from Sōtō Zen, Dōgen's... Read More

Nourishing Your Network

It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than... Read More

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: How Do You Change the World?

Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very... Read More

How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health

You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating.... Read More

Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries

Preparation: If you desire advertising the group, announcements need to... Read More

Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...

Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only... Read More

What Do You Have To Give?

"Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly... Read More

What Is A Personal Trainer

Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in... Read More

Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.

Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41... Read More

How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching?

Athletes Versus EmployeesMost athletes are young, open to improvement, eager... Read More

A Sure-Fire, 10-Step Formula To Get Started As A Coach Or Consultant

"My guess is first I'll need some zippy flyers and... Read More

Fear Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of!

What do you do when fear shows up? Do you... Read More

Have a World-Changing Conversation

I know what you're thinking? "Here I am, completely stressed... Read More

Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year

It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans.... Read More

How to Crack a Daunting Task!

If you have a daunting task and the mere thought... Read More

Great Advice

It never ceases to amaze me that every time I... Read More

Sorry Dr Maslow, I Think You Got It Wrong

In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled "... Read More

Simple Tips to Move Forward on the Job

Someone I know wants to move into another job in... Read More

Executive Coaching and the American President

Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. president has... Read More

Fear of Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we... Read More

Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters

Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us... Read More

Coaching Prime Time

An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out... Read More

The Incredible Human Psyche

The intriguing Human psyche - more complex than the metamorphosing... Read More

Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?

Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More

Dont Be Jealous - Be Inspired

When we see people do things we cannot do, or... Read More

Coaching Book Review: The Coach: Creating Partnerships for a Competitive Edge

Leaders today have many challenges when it comes to guiding... Read More

Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....

Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when... Read More