Budda In Your Back Pocket

The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right.

Who was this voice yelling at me? It was my nemesis ? the Shrew who lives in my head.

We all get annoyed at ourselves from time to time; it is only natural. But for some of us, it can become an unrelenting bother. There can be no contentment when the Shrew is on the scene!

Some call it a gremlin, others an inner critic, others negative self-talk. I call her the Shrew. No matter what you call yours, you know who I mean. She's fierce, she's damning and she's quick to pounce on every mistake you make, turning them into capital offenses. The Shrew exaggerates our flaws, smashes our self-esteem, ruins our confidence, distracts us from what we are doing and makes us miserable.

I am choosing not to live with it anymore! I invite you to do the same. There is a force which can tame the Shrew: The Buddha in Your Back Pocket*.

Think of a time when you witnessed a stranger being scolded and felt badly for them. Perhaps it was a worker being accused by an angry boss of "screwing things up" for something you knew wasn't their fault. Did you wish you could go up to that worker and say, "Don't pay any attention to them. I saw what happened and I know you are a doing a good job!"

This softer side of you is the anti-Shrew. It is empathy and compassion. The Shrew is afraid of it because she fears you might offer it to yourself. It is a skill to learn to apply this loving, tender, supportive side of ourselves to ourselves. Many of us, me included, are not in the habit of it.

The morning I was late, Ms. Shrew was in full force. But, before she could ruin my day, I was able to ward her off by pulling out the Buddha in My Back Pocket. It felt a bit like Luke Skywalker yielding a light saber against Darth Vader. "Luke, use the force!"

I let the powerful voice of the Buddha in My Back Pocket counter the accusations of the Shrew. He asked, "What were your reasons for making the choices you did this morning?" and "Would you make these same choices again?" Then he reminded me of two universal truths: "You are doing the best you can" and "Growth involves observing one's actions and then learning from them." Under this influence of love and a genuine intention to seek understanding, I was able to temporarily silence the Shrew, objectively analyze my "lateness" and gain valuable personal insight. Within a few minutes, I felt relieved, re-engaged in life and able to peacefully continue with the rest of my day.

Unfortunately, we can't eradicate the Shrew completely. But we can learn to access this equalizing force: the pursuit of empathetic understanding ? a loving friend that takes your side and helps you learn about yourself in a safe and protected way. The Buddha in your Back Pocket is always with you to calm your mind, forgive your errs, and remind you of the growth in your life. As you cultivate your relationship with the Buddha in your Back Pocket, you will experience more self-love, confidence and peace.

Life is too short to spend time unnecessarily berating ourselves with critical self-talk! Go forth into your day and bring the Buddha in Your Back Pocket with you. You never know when you might need it!

*I do not wish to offend anyone by using the title Buddha. I have the utmost respect for the Buddhist tradition. In this article, I refer to Buddha as a representation of an enlightened teacher offering guidance to those who chose to listen.

Deirdre's coaching is an accelerant that helps produce results. Through scheduled teleconferences, Deirdre creates a structured environment where you can work towards your goals. Using practical analysis, active listening and brainstorming, she challenges you to improve your quality of life immediately.

Looking for a topic and speaker for your next meeting? Why not: "How to Create Exceptional Work-Life Balance" based on Deirdre's upcoming book Intensely Content: Seven Steps to Experiencing More Joy in Your Life? Work-Life balance is always a crowd-pleasing topic! Call Deirdre today to discuss the details of your event: 207-439-4280.

---

Good Communication is Easy - Isn?t It?

My name is Steve Brummet and my business is to... Read More

We Are the Five People We Associate with Most

Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More

Moment of Magic

Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but... Read More

Whats Wrong with Life Coaching?

As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted... Read More

Coaching Skills Does Matter At Chick?fil-A

In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil... Read More

Increase Your Intelligence With Music

You Are What You Listen ToCan music really help you... Read More

I Give Free Consultations... So, Why Dont They Hire Me?

I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More

How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part C for Client!

My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More

Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words

Has it ever occurred to you how much you are... Read More

Think, Pause & Talk

There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in... Read More

Learning To Recognize Your Ego

What is an ego? Well, in case you didn't know... Read More

Handling Disappointment

Disappointment is an inevitable part of home-based business. Clients won't... Read More

Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?

How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More

Burn-Out ...Whats Next?

If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible... Read More

Trump University - Why Success Education Is Important

Trump University recently unveiled offers a bonanza of success secrets,... Read More

Business Career, Executive, Life Coaching Article Mechanisms of the Mind (Achieving Success)

Suppose that the human mind is nothing more than a... Read More

Not Blind, Just No Vision

Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she... Read More

Expectations Can Get In Our Way

There are times when we truly look forward to something... Read More

A Murder Mystery Puzzle for You to Solve

Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More

Take a Chance, Win a Prize

I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground... Read More

The Joy of Learning!

"Part of what motivates me to write this book is... Read More

Making Changes in Your Personal Life

Making changes in your personal life can be a tough... Read More

Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?

"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything... Read More

Coaching Prime Time

An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out... Read More

Who Do You Talk To?

Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or... Read More

Do You Ever Give Up Coaching Employees?

In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees.... Read More

Seeing Your Energy At Work

Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More

You Are Never Trapped!

"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka... Read More

Is Your Attitude Destroying Your Health?

A positive attitude may bring good health and success. If... Read More

A Perrverse Confidante

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15,... Read More

Receiving Thanks and Praise - The View from the Other Side

We demand more from those who provide to us and... Read More

Are You Seduced by The Dark Side of Wealth Creation? Get-Rich-Quick Scammers

With the growing number of expert business people, consultants and... Read More

Tripping On Mindfulness

One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it's still... Read More