Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference. I asked her why she thought she had to use technical jargon when she spoke to the other conference attendees. She responded that she wanted them to think well of her. Michelle is a warm, caring individual who is genuinely interested in others. I assured her that she could effectively relate to the people she met by asking them questions about themselves and their businesses instead of trying to impress them with her knowledge of veterinary science.
Many people, especially in business situations, are very concerned about what they say to others. Before an event, they might even think of things to say about themselves so others will perceive them in a positive light. They try to dazzle people with stories about their successes hoping this will impress them. What they may not realize is that most of us are not that interested in the accomplishments of other people. We are, however, very interested in our own achievements and we relish the opportunity to describe them (often in great detail) to anyone who will lend an ear. Unfortunately, we don't usually get the chance to do so because most people are more interested in talking than listening.
Listening is an under appreciated aspect of communication. When you carefully listen to others, you impress them in ways that talking can never accomplish. You are letting them know you care about them and they appreciate it. How many people have come up to you lately and said, "You're listening to me too intently. You're valuing what I say too much. You're making me feel too good, so stop it now!" I don't think you've had a long line of people with this complaint and I doubt that you ever will. People are starving for the attention that conscious listening can give. These people include prospects, clients, supervisors, co-workers, family and friends.
Most people are so unaccustomed to being listened to that when someone takes the time to do so, they are often amazed. My friend Sandy is a professional coach. She listens carefully to what her clients say about their fears, hopes, and dreams. When she relates back to them what they have just said, they will often respond "How did you know that? You're so intuitive. You have such great people skills." They attribute Sandy's comments to the fact that she must be a tremendously talented coach to be able to know them so well when, in fact, all she did was listen.
The key to being an outstanding communicator is not so much the words of wisdom that come out of your mouth, but how well you listen to the words of wisdom that come out of the mouths of others. As for Michelle, she listened intently to the people that she met at the conference and soon had them eating out of her hand.
About The Author
Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine - send blank e-mail to mailto:subscribe@dellamenechella.com.
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your... Read More
There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in... Read More
How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will... Read More
There's a lot of coaches out there not making any... Read More
I don't know many people who would admit to wanting... Read More
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more... Read More
A career coach or mentor is a person who can... Read More
If you've been around the Internet for more than two... Read More
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in... Read More
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More
Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself.... Read More
Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have,... Read More
We have all heard the expression, "Where your heart is?,... Read More
The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely... Read More
Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching... Read More
You are going to meet a very important client for... Read More
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are... Read More
Okay, you have read some books on body language and... Read More
The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The... Read More
Personal or business coaching has helped thousands change their lives... Read More
I turned 29 last week, and if statistics are right... Read More
During a recent coaching session with Mark, I was briefly... Read More
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More
I don't know why, but it seems we trip over... Read More
There is one important point that is often missed in... Read More
That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my... Read More
He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He... Read More
Where I live there seems to be a a growing... Read More
Coaching is about being your best. It's about performance, about... Read More
Leaders today have many challenges when it comes to guiding... Read More
He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More
Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic... Read More
I was thinking this morning about the importance of the... Read More
The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and... Read More
Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More
Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More
You Are What You Listen ToCan music really help you... Read More
Coaching is about being your best. It's about performance, about... Read More
Despite our skills, experience or expertise we can still make... Read More
I have a few questions for you ---What if we... Read More
Have you ever laid in bed trying to fall asleep,... Read More
If you work with people, as a company owner, manager... Read More
I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground... Read More
When did you last do that? When did you last... Read More
Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as... Read More
There is a point at which everything becomes simple and... Read More
Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More
A friend called me the other day from Lower Alabama.... Read More
Preparation: If you desire advertising the group, announcements need to... Read More
Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress;... Read More
But first you've got to raise your standards.I know at... Read More
I met Sean a year and a half ago in... Read More
We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes... Read More
During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and... Read More
Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More
I am often asked how I stay happy and motivated... Read More
He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More
I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette... Read More
When I lost it all, I felt powerless. During my... Read More
We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find... Read More
Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More
Some people are not in a position to work with... Read More
Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to... Read More
In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil... Read More
What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances,... Read More
Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part... Read More
Coaching |