Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?

"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating.

It does not appear to matter that we are independent professionals or business owners, we live in a world shaped by the rules of corporate life. Most of us came from jobs and daily schedules that dictated what to do and how to spend our time. Being somewhat like the long-term prisoner we got very used to the daily regimen. We were told when to start work, take lunch, take breaks and leave for the day. Managers, clients, customers and operating manuals told us what to do and when to do it.

So we get out on our own, having dreamt of the freedom, only to start filling our days with busyness, in a panic from the very start. We don't have a clue as to how to do otherwise.

It doesn't seem to matter how long you have been out on your own. It's just as difficult to break outdated habits and beliefs when we do become financially successful. Why? Because whatever path to success we took, we now believe - or certainly worry - that it's the only way. We are afraid to let go and try something new. Why? Perhaps because beliefs have been making the decisions all along. And I'm not talking about beliefs based in trust, faith, passion and prosperity!

Consider the following beliefs:

1. I'm easily distracted 2. I'm not an organized person 3. I do my best work under pressure 4. Really successful people start work early and end late 5. When you own your own business, you have to work long hours, especially at the beginning 6. If I keep enough balls up in the air, some are sure to land. 7. Work?hard? nose?to? the?grindstone (Arrgghh!) 8. If I'm having fun it must not be right

Or complaints?

1. I can't take time off - I need the money 2. I don't know how to say "no" to others (or to crappie work or to crummy clients) 3. I never have enough time for myself 4. I'm responsible for everything in my business 5. In this bad economy?fill in the blank

It's no wonder we find it difficult, left to our own devices, to figure out how to structure our day so that we achieve that seemingly illusive balance between success and personal well being. The two needs appear to be at odds with each other. It's a rare few that have the good fortune to understand how to create a structure that effectively serves both needs.

The goal is to be able to make good decisions about how your spend your working time with confidence, so that you are effective, having fun and leaving room for your personal needs and commitments. The goal is to be able to make such decisions from a place of certainty, trust, and faith in yourself, and 'the universe.'

Uncovering Your Beliefs and Understanding Their Impact on Your Business Decisions

1. To get started thinking about the impact your beliefs have on how you decide what it takes to be successful in business, pick one from the above list that isn't one of yours. Imagine if it were yours. What impact do you think it would have on you? How would it impact your ability to make sound decisions about what it takes to be successful?

2. Now take a look at something you know you do believe, a belief or a habit that you can't seem to shake. If you are having difficulty coming up with one, think about what you complain about to your friends, family or colleagues. Think about the story you tell people over and over. (This is the part that can make you squirm. It's okay. No one is around but you right now.) We are looking for the ugly, wonderful truth.

3. Take the belief you identified in 2 above and make note of how it could be impacting your decisions, your ability to set boundaries, your willingness to take time off or simply stop working before 5. (Yes, I meant before 5.)

4. Over the next week, take some time to observe and note every time this belief "pops up" to influence your decisions.

Just taking these few simple steps can loosen the hold that outdated beliefs have on your decisions from this day forward - no kidding. The beliefs are no longer in the background, in hiding, and running the show. You now have a chance to loosen their reign.

Bonus Step: If you want to go one step further, write down a new belief to replace the old belief. Review the new belief every day. Put it up on your computer as a screen saver (mine's "Abundance Girl"). Feel the belief, look for evidence it's true. If the old one comes to visit, say hello, bid it adieu, and then replace it with the new belief.

Willingness, the Final Ingredient

Ask yourself this: Am I willing let go of my story and do whatever it takes (even to feel like a fool) to have the freedom and the success that lead me to start my business in the first place? If you are, you can.

c2004 by Joan Friedlander. All rights reserved

About The Author

Joan Friedlander is an Entrepreneur's Success Coach. Her national coaching company, Lifework Business Partners, provides services, programs and products for entrepreneurs who have strong personal values and are committed to a high level of success and professionalism in their business. You can expect increased revenue, an improved quality of life, and an overall increase in confidence and business know-how within 3-6 months. Click on the this link to find out more http://www.lifeworkpartners.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Ch-Ch-Chain of Hearts: Cranking Up Compassion

Can you hear your compassion? It's time to crank it... Read More

Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles... Read More

The Long Way

I wrote you about four years ago, when my eight... Read More

Not Blind, Just No Vision

Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she... Read More

Just Listen, Please!

When did you last do that? When did you last... Read More

The Power of Effective Coaching Skills

The most valuable assets of a 20th century company were... Read More

Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success

WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX?Think tools are just for builders and... Read More

A Beginner To Beginners

You may be just starting, or contemplating, your first online... Read More

Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation

There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be... Read More

Training is Not the Same Thing as Exercising

What it takes to GROW!In almost every workshop we deliver,... Read More

You Can Get There From Here

But first you've got to raise your standards.I know at... Read More

Communicating Anger Compassionately

Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More

So Why Are They Really Here?

It does make you wonder sometimes, doesn't it? You know... Read More

Corporate Coaching and Employees: One Step Ahead

"Don't shoot... We're on the same side."Contrary to popular belief,... Read More

Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach

Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in... Read More

Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great

Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and... Read More

How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills

But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of... Read More

You Are Never Trapped!

"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka... Read More

The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To

I am remembering and have a desire to share with... Read More

Your Personal Treasure Chest

Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic... Read More

Who Are You Mixing It With?

I talk and write a lot about Life Design ?... Read More

Executive Coaching

The higher you climb the ladder in this organization, the... Read More

Are You Invisible?

Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught... Read More

5 Tips to Improve ANY Performance

Seeking improved performance at work? Wishing you could finally achieve... Read More

Building a Strong Coaching Practice

As a person who has been around the coaching profession... Read More

Attention! Thought Crossing! ? Or, The Secret of What?s Between Your Ears

What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your... Read More

Whats in it for me if I Hire A Coach?

1. An unshakable foundation:Create and build your life from the... Read More

Successful Change Starts With A Shift In Perspective

Like so many in corporate America today, Susan needed more... Read More

Identify Your Two Rich Horses

The naked truth of person is that we are still... Read More

A Perrverse Confidante

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15,... Read More

Mindfulness and Multiple Intelligences: 8 Ways to Pay Attention

How are you smart?Let me count the ways.Harvard professor Howard... Read More

Is Your Life In Motion?

Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks,... Read More

How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need

Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out... Read More