A Coaching Secret

I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable?

Like millions of Americans, I have been steeped in this paradox. D-Day + 64 was very difficult. Honoring our dead in the midst of our current war heightened this conflict for me. How can I coach people to forgive when I am having difficult in forgiving?

I've talked about this with people who I deeply respect, trust and love. I share it with you. Forgiveness is releasing the bands on your heart that interfere with your moving forward. To forgive behavior is not to condone it. Condoning is like ignoring, looking the other way. Forgiving is allowing you to look without letting your own history interfere. Personally, I can forgive our soldiers for their appalling behavior and continue to work as hard as I can to change this administration.

But here is a totally spiritual view. It is a view that I hold. I come from the notion that the purpose of life ? for each of us ? is to be as close to G_d as possible. So that whenever anything bad happens to us, I hold that we have been given another opportunity to move spiritually closer to G_d. I call it the "find the pencil" theory of the universe. When you get closer you get more and more positive feedback ?"you're getting warm, warmer, hot, hotter." And when you respond otherwise, the universe gives you increasingly negative feedback ? "cool, cold, colder?" So forgiving our soldiers is an opportunity for spiritual growth. You can actually empathize with those you are angry with, because the universe has given them the burden of being that way.

Aside from one cousin, all of my relatives from WWII have passed on. The war exists for me as memory and my experiences as a young boy. I remember going on a train from Brooklyn to Miami and being 'adopted' by a group of soldiers ? a fondly remembered highlight of my boyhood ? And going to Ebbets Field to watch the Dodgers ? I sat in the left field bleachers, right next to the section reserved for the military ? I loved it. I have a photograph of myself at age seven, wearing a full soldier's outfit I love my country.

As I forgive today's unfortunate army, I recover my love, my hero worship and my deep respect for these brave, willing, but unwitting young people. And I grieve for those who have so senselessly died.

Forgiveness works.

Find out more from his website, www.1stClassCoaching.com.

Michael Lipp is a senior coach, with over 21 years experience and an extensive background in leadership, design, management and entrepreneurship.

---

Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief!

For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war... Read More

Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep!

Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More

Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward

Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all... Read More

Searching For Your Calling ? Quest or Curse?

Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's... Read More

HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor

IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the... Read More

Personal Strategic Planning

I have a few questions for you ---What if we... Read More

Communicating Anger Compassionately

Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More

You Have A Choice

I'm a relationship coach and, unlike most, I deal with... Read More

Build Your People Skills

How would you like to get along even better with... Read More

Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries

Preparation: If you desire advertising the group, announcements need to... Read More

4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever

Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to... Read More

Whats Next Syndrome

Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are... Read More

Assertive Communication: 20 Helpful Tips

Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More

Throw a No-Heat Party for the Planet

Is it really possible to have loads of fun, and... Read More

The Right Time and Place

(Channelled)Roy?I am sending you this quote from Sōtō Zen, Dōgen's... Read More

Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation

With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium,... Read More

Diverse Marketing Strategies for Those Living with Disabilities

Imagine yourself as the only means of financially supporting you.... Read More

A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make

We are frequently held back from making future plans or... Read More

How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination

Have you encountered a time when you were in a... Read More

Do You Dither in Your Job Search?

I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing... Read More

Tips For Singles On Celebrating The New Year

It's four weeks away and you don't have any plans.... Read More

Whats Up With All These Coaches?

If you are anything like me, you may have noticed... Read More

How to Crack a Daunting Task!

If you have a daunting task and the mere thought... Read More

Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?

"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything... Read More

Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs

I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it... Read More

An Easy Way to End The Year

As a healthy business owner or independent professional, how do... Read More

Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People

1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and... Read More

How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course... Read More

Viewpoints - Communication Destruction Or....

Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when... Read More

4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting

Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide... Read More

Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She... Read More

How to Get More Business Without Even Trying

Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you... Read More

Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective

What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump... Read More