Stress Management: Holding On Vs. Dropping It

One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.

We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn't know Lauren had used it just a moment before.

I've never dropped anything so fast before or since!

Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.

Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.

That's why we drop them so quickly.

Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?

Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I've worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I've also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.

How to Hold On

Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here's a few "tips" for holding on:

*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind. Be sure to make a little "mental movie" for your own viewing pleasure.

*Make sure it's the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.

*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.

*Make it the defining moment in your life.

*Isolate yourself from other people

*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.

*Look at yourself as a victim.

How to Drop It

Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here's a few tips for dropping it:

*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.

*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.

*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.

*remember the saying "Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."

*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it's place, which is behind you.

Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It's a choice.

And it's yours to make.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Stress Management: Ditch Thinking or Destination Thinking

Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More

Canadian Physicians on Slippery Slope of Burnout

In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More

Keeping You Stress Free!

We function at our best when we are free from... Read More

Stress Buster Tip: Relax From The Weekday Stack!

Everyday can be full of stress but we all deserve... Read More

How To Eliminate Or Manage Stress

Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to... Read More

5 Top Tips To Boost Your Spirits

1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More

Control Stress with High Morale

When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More

Bite-Size Chunks! The Power Of Daily Actions

There may be so much you want to change in... Read More

Taming September: Avoiding Fall Frenzy

When September rolls around, does it generally hit you like... Read More

Tame Your Work Stress

Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More

Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction

Are You Too Stressed?Is your stomach all tied up in... Read More

Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm

Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More

7 Tips to Relieve Stress At Work

Do you feel stress at work? Do you carry your... Read More

Technology and Stress- How to Prevent Technology From Taking Over Your Life

1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This... Read More

FEAR: How to Defeat the Monster

What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More

Stress Management: The Power of a Day

I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago,... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: Learning to Rebound

Q. I've suffered a few setbacks and disappointments in the... Read More

Over 35 Ways of Controlling Stress: Absolutely Necessary to Control Smoking and Weight!

* Play Romane's stress control seminar recordings, and read "The... Read More

The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions

My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning... Read More

Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom From...

1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry... Read More

3 Kinds of Workplace Stress

Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More

The Jerk is Never Me

Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone... Read More

Stress Managment: Worry is the Prescription for an Ulcer

Have you ever listened to someone, perhaps even to your... Read More

Stress Management: Are You a Diamond or a Lump of Coal?

"Do you want to be a lump of coal or... Read More

How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters

The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More

Workaholism: 4 Universal Laws for Recovery

The Rule of BalanceThere is more to life than work.... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: How to Beat Too Many Hats Syndrome

"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover,... Read More

[Emotional Health] Are You Feeling In Control?

When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More

Stress and Your Immune System: 10 Ways to Relax and Rejuvenate

Stress seems to have become a constant factor in today's... Read More

Assess Your Stress Using Haris Stress Inventory

This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More

The ABCs of Stress Management

A while back, I was in a minor fender-bender accident,... Read More

Stress Management: Problem Land or Solution Land

In my experience, most of us spend a lot more... Read More