Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy

On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:

"I wonder if I remember how to do this." "Will I be able to get up?" "How soon will I crash?"

The rope tightened and I got up like I'd been doing this for years, began to ski and sure enough, the next thing I knew - crash - face full of lake.

Here comes the point of the story - As I floated in the water, waiting for the boat and the rope to come back around, I realized that the only reason I had crashed was because I had expected to crash.

The Power of Expectancy

The power of expectancy shapes our lives. I've found that most of us have either a negative expectancy (things won't work out) or a positive expectancy (things usually work out). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

Expectancy controls what we focus on, and what we focus on usually comes about.

Eeyore Expectancy

I call people that always focus on the negative "Eeyores." For those of you who do not have kids or don't remember the story, Eeyore is a donkey in the Winnie the Pooh story that mopes around, head hung to the ground, moaning and groaning about life.

The Language

"It's just too good to be true"

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop" There are times when we are so sure that the other shoe is going to drop that we throw it down ourselves.

"If something bad can happen, it will, and it will happen to me."

The Outcome

The outcome of "eeyore expectancy" is usually fairly lousy. Even if good stuff does happen, it's easy to miss with your eyes dragging the ground. You get what you focus on.

Positive Expectancy

Here's what positive expectancy is not:

burying your head in the sand and saying "everything will be all right."

a glorified form of denial

a new term for "positive thinking"

I don't believe in "positive thinking", at least not in the way it's commonly portrayed. Example: while it's pouring rain, walking through the rain saying "It's not raining, it's not raining, it's not raining," will get you soaked!

Positive expectancy IS an attitude. It's an attitude that goes something like, "whatever happens, not only will we figure out a way to handle it, we'll also find a way to make it work for us."

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Cancel Stress and Be Blessed!

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour... Read More

Stress- What Is It?

Whenever we think of 'stress', negative thoughts come into our... Read More

The Sixty Second Stress Solution

It is an inescapable fact, we live in a stressful... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: Shake It Off and Step Up

The moment I read the story I'm about to share... Read More

Turn Your Stress into Success!

Stress is often seen as being unhealthy, but for some... Read More

Instant Relaxation Anytime Anywhere

If there was a way of relaxing quickly and easily... Read More

100 Ways to Reduce Stress

Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More

9 Warning Signs of Stress

Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More

How To Avoid Stress By Staying in The Present Moment

The future is nothing but a fantasy or a daydream,... Read More

Nipping Stress In the Bud: The Principles of Stress Relief

Stress is normal. Stress is OK. Stress is the same... Read More

Stress Reduction Tips for Parents

The best way to reduce your stress is to really... Read More

Stress Relief Through Charity

One of the best ways to relieve yourself from the... Read More

Workplace Stress: What to Do During Down Times?

The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More

Is Your Workplace Suffering from Contagious Stress?

We wonder how many of you might recognise this scenario?... Read More

Stress And How To Avoid It

Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More

The Work of Byron Katie - Freedom From Stress is Only 4 Questions Away

All stress comes from believing a thought that argues with... Read More

7 Successful Stress Management Techniques

Everyone needs successful stress management techniques. Easy to learn and... Read More

Chastise Your Bread ? Kneading Dough is Excellent Stress Therapy

The day wasn't going well already. You know how it... Read More

Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction

Are You Too Stressed?Is your stomach all tied up in... Read More

Self-Healing Basics

* The material presented in this article is provided for... Read More

Sshhh... Listen to Your Own Voice

It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It... Read More

Tame Your Work Stress

Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More

Empathy - Anxiety & Panic

If you are an anxiety and panic sufferer, then you've... Read More

Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm

Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More

Worry: Is It Worthwhile Work or a Waste of Time?

As tools for change are discussed, one tool - that... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: 6 Stress Busting Tips

In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More

How To Stress Less and Smile More-The Six Fundamental Steps To Improved Health

More than two-thirds of visits to doctors' surgeries are for... Read More

The Scoop on Stress and Exercise

Stress is defined as a response by your body to... Read More

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

"Slow down, you move too fast, you've got to make... Read More

Conflict Resolution ... What The Heck Are You Thinking?

Do you get frustrated with your spouse, your kids, your... Read More

Stress Reduction and Sacred Moments

"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More

Reduce Your Stress

If you live in the early part of the twenty-first... Read More