Stress Management and Mastery: Watch Your Language

"Watch your language."

We all heard this admonition as kids and probably say it to our own kids as well.

Did you know that it is also a great stress mastering technique?

The words we use to make sense of both our day and the stress that confronts us make a huge difference in how well we handle our lives. Many times the words we use can make us feel even more stressed.

The funny thing is, it's usually just a very small distinction that can make all the difference. One of the best examples is what I call the "got to vs. get to" difference.

Saying "I've got to" is so prevalent in our language that most of us don't realize just how much and how often we say it.

Pay attention to how often you think and say, "got to." You'll notice that it makes you feel tighter, heavier and more rushed. Actual physiological responses in your body take place as your muscles tighten and your breathing becomes shallower.

Activities and tasks that are simply a part of life, or perhaps even a privilege, then become burdens to be carried and gotten through.

Instead of enjoying the day and the blessings that come with it, we focus on just getting through. Doesn't sound very compelling does it? Yet we do it all the time, every day.

Here's what I suggest you do. Over the next few days, watch your language. Pay attention to your language. Notice how often you think or say, "got to." I'm willing to bet you'll be surprised, and you'll begin to understand a part of why you feel so stressed.

Now that you're aware of how much you say "got to" and how much it effects you, here's what you can do about it.

Remember earlier I pointed out it was just a small distinction between "got to" and "get to"? Well, the distinction is small, but the difference is huge. You can look upon the same day, with the same tasks in it, and take a "get to" approach. You'll notice that you will feel lighter, less stressed, more motivated and more blessed.

Here's a recent example from my life. On a recent Thursday afternoon, I found myself in the middle of a "got to" binge. It was past the time I prefer to send in this column. We just got the news that my wife would require more surgery following her recent pregnancy. And I had a full load of clients to see that afternoon.

Here is one more suggestion - imagine what it would have been like to lay in bed this morning, thinking about all the "got to's" that were coming in your day. What does that feel like? Now, imagine the same scene, but focusing on all the many things that you "get to" do that day. Notice how different you feel? Which one do you like better?

It takes some practice, and with practice you can learn to avoid the "got to's" and focus on the "get to's" in your life. A small distinction, yes. And a huge difference.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

5 Steps to Make Stress Your Best Friend

You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More

7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress

Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More

Worry: Do We Have A Choice?

As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already... Read More

The Underlying Cause of Nervous Breakdowns

Life can offer us many challenges having to do with... Read More

Training Your Mind For Better Business and Leisure

Training Your Mind For Better Business and LeisureModern life moves... Read More

7 Unique Stress Relievers

Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More

Are You Taking Notice? What Are Your Warning Signs Stress Is Building Up?

Many people recognise the warning signs that stress may be... Read More

Stress Relief Tips

With how busy we keep ourselves on a day to... Read More

Minimizing Stress

Understanding StressStress has been called "the invisible disease". It is... Read More

Mental and Physical Stress

All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or... Read More

Stress Management: 5 More Things to Clean Out of Your Mental Closet

ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More

Managing Your Persistent Fears And Anxieties

Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More

Why Stress Is Not Necessary

We are not designed for long term stress.It causes us... Read More

Is it a Crime to be a White Guy in A Tan Car?

I had the unpleasant experience of being pulled over the... Read More

Waking Up Well - The Essentials

Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to... Read More

Life Happens

Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More

Stress Management and Creating Balance

The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More

How To Eliminate Or Manage Stress

Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to... Read More

Ease Your Stress ? Change Your Life!

Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More

Beyond the Stress of Success - Access Your Thriving Zone

Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More

10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress Levels

10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More

Stress Management: Are You a Chooser or a Loser?

Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More

Canadian Physicians on Slippery Slope of Burnout

In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More

Stress Control: Tough Leadership vs. Easy Does It

Tough leaders are usually seen as ogres. Their exacting demands... Read More

The Work of Byron Katie - Freedom From Stress is Only 4 Questions Away

All stress comes from believing a thought that argues with... Read More

Haris Stress Inventory

Conceptualizing stress: Stress often has a negative connotation. Failure, illnesses,... Read More

Reduce Stress To Maximize Efficiency

The right amount of stress can be good for you,... Read More

Instant Relaxation Anytime Anywhere

If there was a way of relaxing quickly and easily... Read More

Occupational Stress

Statistics tell us that more people have migraine headaches on... Read More

Job Stress Management Tips

Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More

Stress Relief

Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums. Deadlines at work. Money troubles. Too... Read More

Mindfulness and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling

Life is funny.Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous... Read More

Three Stress Relief Techniques

There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More