Stress Management: 5 Questions to Get Crisis to Work for You

Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis means danger and opportunity. I just lost my job, and I see nothing but bad stuff in this. Where is the opportunity?

A: When you are hit with a life crisis such as losing a job, it's easy to focus on only the dangers and bad things.

Here are five questions to ask yourself when life hands you something you don't want or like. They are designed to get you through the crisis and to help you manage your thoughts and emotions as well.

1. In how many ways can I make this work for me?

The language of this question is important because it contains what is called a presupposition. I think that the first people to really understand the human brain and emotions were not psychologists, but those in advertising and sales.

For example, when you are shopping for a new car a good salesperson will ask "Do you want to buy the red car or the blue car?" The presupposition is that you will buy one of them.

Our question presupposes that there is a way to make this work for you, and it also assumes there are several ways to do this. It may take a great deal of creativity, but creativity is simply the ability to look at something that has always been there and see something that has not been seen before.

2. What's good about this? What does this allow me to do that I might not have done before?

One of the many results of losing a job is you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands. While this can be scary, it also can work to your advantage. Are there projects around the house you can now complete? Are there members of your family with whom you can spend more time?

One of the best uses of this time can be to step back and consider what it is you really want to do in life. If you have been doing something that is not your passion, losing your job could be your ticket to living and working out your passion.

3. What would you love to do?

If there is not a job like that around, how could you create one in a way that would add value to the lives of others? The happiest people I know are those who are doing what they love for a living.

4. What does this force me to do that I might not have done before?

When our backs are up against the wall, we sometimes have to face issues we have been avoiding. Do you need to improve your job skills? Go back to school? Sometimes being out of work can expose financial areas of your life that have not been taken care of. Once you are working again, do you need to get out of debt, take care of retirement, or something else?

5. How many ways can I make this work for me?

I know I asked that question once already. But questions 2 through 4 prepare you to better answer the question the second time around. See what other useful answers you can come up with at this point.

It comes down to a sometimes difficult choice: Am I going to focus on all the ugliness of what has happened, or am I going to focus on how to come out of this better, stronger and wiser than when I went in?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

How to Stop Stress and Overwhelm Quickly!

My work often deals with proactive, preventive means to Overcome... Read More

Seven Steps to Reducing Stress and Reclaiming Your Life at Work

According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More

Five Steps to Stress Relief

So, you've recognised that you are suffering from stress and... Read More

The Cost of Stress ? the Need to Monitor and Manage the Risks!

How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More

Common SENSS Stress Control

Statistics show that all of us experience stress at one... Read More

Myth Busting: What Causes Mental Breakdown?

I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety... Read More

Stress Management: KYFM - Keep Your Feet Moving

One of my favorite stories about change is the story... Read More

Be Yourself And Zap Stress!

Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More

Three Stress Relief Techniques

There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More

Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom From...

1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry... Read More

Stress Relief ? A Backyard Hot Tub Is Your Answer

We all know what it's like coming home from a... Read More

Stress Management:: 4 Critical Distinctions

Stress Vs PressureStress is something we all have, it's not... Read More

Treat Your Anxiety Disorder Effectively

If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More

How to Cope When Things Go Wrong

There are times in every person's life when things do... Read More

Mindfulness and Panic: Ask Your Anxiety

Panic.Heart racing. Palms sweating. Breathing rapid and shallow. Mouth dry.... Read More

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

"Slow down, you move too fast, you've got to make... Read More

Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm

Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More

Stress Reduction Tips for Parents

The best way to reduce your stress is to really... Read More

Stress Management: Are You a Workaholic - Humorous View

As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it... Read More

10 Ways to Benchmark Workplace Stress

With almost 50% of workers complaining that their jobs are... Read More

Children Playing - How Play Is Important To Kids And Adults

You can learn a lot by watching children playing. There... Read More

Stress Management: How to Use the Power of Focus

Here's a fun little experiment:Take a few seconds and look... Read More

Overwhelm: Love It or Leave It!

Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More

Some Tips for Mental Well Being - Ways to Help Yourself!

Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise -... Read More

Putting Your Life in Perspective

Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More

7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress

Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More

Entertaining Without Stress

Let's face it. If you are stressed, agitated and flitting... Read More

Stress Managment: 5 Things to Clean Out of Your Mental Closet

ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Power of REST

Rest.It's a good thing to do. As the story goes,... Read More

How to Say No and Let Go of Stress

It was one of the first words you learned to... Read More

Worry: Do We Have A Choice?

As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already... Read More

Stress Management: 3 Rules for Dealing with Difficult People

Seems like more and more they are all around us.... Read More

Breathe Out Negativity And Stress!

If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with... Read More