Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said,

"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down and doesn't hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.

"I have struggled with these feelings many times," he continued. "It is as if there are two wolves inside me: One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and doesn't take offense when no offense was intended. He will fight only when it is right to do so and in the right way. But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The smallest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked

"Which one wins?"

The grandfather solemnly replied

"The one I feed."

Anger is human

Anger is a naturally ocurring emotion that in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

We can either feed it and make it worse, or we can work with it and handle it in a way that makes healthy sense. It's always a choice. .

How to feed anger

Play the blame game.

Finding, placing and dramatizing blame is one of the greatest sources of creating and feeding anger. Blame talks like this,

"It's someone else's fault. He should not have done it, and I must make him pay for it."

One of the many downsides of this is that the blame game takes so much time and energy, leaving you with little for the rest of your life.

Play the enflame game.

Once you are angry, you have two choices: Defuse your anger or enflame it. The danger with enflaming your anger is that it quickly becomes a habit and you forget it's a choice.

Enflaming requires nurturing anger by running the injustice over and over in your mind. Another way to do this is to tell as many people as you can about how you feel until you get a number of folks on your side. They become assistant enflamers.

Blaming and enflaming fit dangerously well. The more you blame, the more enflamed you become. The more enflamed you become, the more you find to blame.

How to feed healthy feelings

Play the diffuse game.

Pausing to ask yourself a few questions helps reduce anger. For example: How much do I enjoy this feeling? How strongly do I want to feel this anger? How long do I want to feel it?

Anger can prevent us from thinking. Pausing long enough to answer these questions allows you to re-engage your brain and decide how you want to handle your anger.

Accept that not everything in life can or needs to be set right.

Many times when we try to set things right, we just muck it up that much more. Sometimes we just have to release it and move on. Treat it like the dust it is, shake it off your shoes and walk on into the rest of your life.

For more tips and tools for managing anger visit Tools for Successful Living

---

The Case Of The Missing Vacation

This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More

Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction

Are You Too Stressed?Is your stomach all tied up in... Read More

Anger Management: Is It Finally Time To Forgive?

In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger... Read More

Create Your Own Home Spa

No need to go spend money at a spa! There... Read More

Why Stress Management Programmes Don?t Work

Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More

Overcoming Stress: Successful Living The Easy Way

So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More

How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters

The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More

Stress Management Through Altering Beliefs And Increasing Knowledge

Most humans experience unexpected setbacks which can cause huge stress... Read More

Aromatherapy Candles Release Stress

Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More

Stress: Daily Self-Care Habits to Manage Stress

Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More

Stress Management

The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More

Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm

Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More

Build Your Stress Tolerance

While free-lancing for business magazines, I was assigned to write... Read More

Quiet Mind; A Powerful Tool That Gives You More Time, Creativity, And Productivity And Takes Just 10

The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More

Overcome the Top 10 Causes of Workplace Stress

Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More

Stress & Self Esteem: Raising One by Lowering the Other

In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at... Read More

10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More

Reduce The Stress!

First, let's make a distinction between pressure and stress. We... Read More

Managing Stress From Another World

Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More

How to Cope When Things Go Wrong

There are times in every person's life when things do... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction

Q. So many times in my life, I seem to... Read More

7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress

Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More

13 Stress Reducers & Profit Boosters

The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More

Hypnosis CDs - Relief from Stress

The number one most popular issue that users of a... Read More

Social Phobia

Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More

Stress Mangement and Mastery: How to Defeat Sunday Night Syndrome

Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More

Dealing With Stress in Our Overworked Lives

As small business owners, we often take on more than... Read More

What is Stress?

Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More

Managing Stress - Hire the Right People

Managing stress is not easy if you don't have the... Read More

Stress Management: 5 Questions to Get Crisis to Work for You

Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More

Break Up Your Day And Become More Productive

Often, in today's fast paced world, we forget to take... Read More

The Cost of Stress ? the Need to Monitor and Manage the Risks!

How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More

5 Steps to Make Stress Your Best Friend

You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More