Discover The Wisdom of Letting Go

When a great Zen Master returned to his country after many years of studying abroad the people asked what he brought with him. He said, "I've come with nothing but empty hands."

What are these empty hands? What value are they of us today? Usually our own hands are full, filled with tasks, problems and possessions that seem impossible to put down. Our lives are crowded with decisions, plans and dreams. When these plans are not fulfilled, when events do not go as we would wish, or when change comes unexpectedly, many start to grasp and hold on. This grasping itself increases anxiety. Few know how to truly deal with change or understand why it is happening to them. Living by Zen shows us how to stop clinging and open both our hands and minds to the new possibilities that are always present for us.

Holding On

Many people's lives are centered around accumulation. They become very proud of what they have accumulated; money, degrees, skills, friends, information, property, lovers. Soon they are so full they can hardly move, and yet they still search for more, cramming every corner of their homes and lives full. Before long, they even believe what they have is who they are. It is not so easy to stop accumulating and simply clean out the drawers. Many have not yet learned the value of empty space.

Along with the process of accumulation, the process of attachment appears. Many become afraid of losing that which they have. Everything seems precious, no matter what. How often do they stop and ask, "Do I need this anymore? Is it still valuable? When is it time to let go?"

How We Know Ourselves

Most of us feel we are our job, possessions, achievements, and relationships. This is how we know ourselves. If we lose one of them, we feel we have lost part of ourselves. Somehow we have not identified with the basis of all life, which is constantly moving, changing, growing. In order to expand our sense of selves it is necessary to stop fighting and resisting life, to become willing to let go.

But, whether or not we want to let go, life itself decides for us. Change comes in its own time, both giving and taking things away. When this happens, many suffer greatly from this sense of loss. A usual response is to hold on tighter.

When Change Comes

When change comes, the first thing we must realize is that the harder we hold on, the more we crush what we have in the palm of our hands. This is not the way to avoid suffering. In fact, the pain of loss is caused by resistance to what is going on. The more we fight what is happening, the more we resist the natural flow of life, the more we suffer and helpless we can feel.

There are many ways we hold on and resist what is happening in our lives - through domination, depression, denial, endless activity, immediately making new plans. By fighting change this way we are insisting that life meet our particular demands, fulfill our needs and expectations. A battle is set up. Much energy is squandered.

As we live by Zen, we find a different way of approaching change. When change, loss or disturbance comes, we plant ourselves in the center of the storm and allow ourselves to fully experience what is going on. Instead of being blown all over by the turbulence, we become the center of the tornado, filled with energy and focus. We let go of the ways we "think" things should be going and allow ourselves to fully be with what is. As we do this a great question arises - what do we really have that we can lose?

This question is called a koan; a question that cannot be answered rationally. As we work on this koan, our minds, heart and hands become empty, open and clear for a new way of understanding and being. As we stop clinging, and start letting go into the truth of the moment, we discover who we truly are and are filled with fresh wisdom.

Now as we are living by Zen fears diminish, grasping lets go and our sense of being becomes planted on a stable foundation. In this process we begin to experience life differently and also have a taste of who we truly are. Our hands then become empty too. Empty hands are pliable, flexible, and useful. They can touch and comfort, they can give and receive, they can do what is needed when the moment appears.

Cc/2005

Discover 2,000 year old Zen secrets to being calm, balanced and positive, no matter what is going on in your life through Living By Zen, (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life), http://www.livingbyzen.com by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. She is a psychologist, speaker and workshop leader, long term Zen practitioner and teacher and also author of Zen Miracles, (Finding Peace In An Insane World), Wiley, 2002, Zen and the Art of Falling In Love and other books. Dr. Shoshanna teaches in universities, the community, online for Barnes And Noble University and is relationship expert on http://www.ivillage.com. Her wonderful program on Living By Zen is available at http://www.livingbyzen.com (Contact her at mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. (212) 288-0028.)

---

Stress Managment: 12 Universal Laws for Managing Anger

1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to... Read More

Stress Management: How to Handle Rejection - The Power of NEXT

Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by... Read More

Stress Management: KYFM - Keep Your Feet Moving

One of my favorite stories about change is the story... Read More

Understanding Your Stress Levels

In order to understand stress better, it is a good... Read More

The ABCs of Stress Management

A while back, I was in a minor fender-bender accident,... Read More

Stress Management - Overcoming Adversity

Adversity is an unavoidable part of life. Death of a... Read More

5 Top Tips To Boost Your Spirits

1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More

The Best Medicine For Stress ( A Daily Dose Of Gratitude)

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More

A 2-Minute Stress Buster

Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More

Six Questions To Make Your Workplace Stress-Free

Many CEOs see stress as an intractable problem which would... Read More

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

"Slow down, you move too fast, you've got to make... Read More

Alleviate Stress Without Pills!

We all have it; we live with it daily: stress.... Read More

Coping With Stress

When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the... Read More

The Power of Five

Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting... Read More

The Top Seven Causes Of Workplace Stress And Fifteen Ways To Get Rid Of Them

Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More

Overcoming Stress: Successful Living The Easy Way

So many of us live a stressful life. Unfortunately, when... Read More

Myth Busting: What Causes Mental Breakdown?

I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety... Read More

Stress Reduction and Sacred Moments

"The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen... Read More

Stress Management

Have you ever said the words, "This job/my life is... Read More

Recognize the Early Signs of Burnout

Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and... Read More

Quick Steps On Handling Stress

Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker,... Read More

Stress And How To Avoid It

Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More

The Benefits of Eating from a Jar of Honey

June is the month of the honey moon. Custom holds... Read More

Bite-Size Chunks! The Power Of Daily Actions

There may be so much you want to change in... Read More

Be Yourself And Zap Stress!

Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More

Are You Worried? 4 Steps to Peace of Mind

A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I... Read More

Music Therapy: Can Music Really Soothe The Savage Beast?

It has long been suggested that "music soothes the savage... Read More

Sometimes C.O.P.I.N.G Is All We Can Do

We strive for excellence in our lives, going at full... Read More

Are You Leap-Frogging from Vacation to Vacation? Try Lily-Padding...

It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More

Easy Elimination Of Worry & Stress!

It is very true that, unfortunately, many people look to... Read More

Walking - The Perfect Stress Reducer

An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as... Read More

Create Your Own Home Spa

No need to go spend money at a spa! There... Read More

Stress Management: An Owners Manual for Your Brain

Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's... Read More