Anger Management: Are You Able To Say Both Yes! And No! ?

I hear from many people that they see ever increasing expressions of anger in their everyday life. Understanding the process of anger is an important topic for all of us to take a closer look at.

If you take the time to delve deeper into your own anger, or resentment, you will often find that you are seriously limiting your ability to feel and express the full range of your emotions. In the process of limiting yourself, you become the victim of your emotions. You might be angry because you feel that someone else should be punished, but in the long run your anger will wind up punishing yourself. You might wind up resenting the way you are treated by others, but if you take a look you will usually find that your resentment limits your ability to feel happy in a more general sense.

If you feel stuck in a situation where you can only say "Yes" then your response will not come from your heart, and your response will not be supported by the emotions your body generates. When you feel unable to say "No" then you will likely find that no matter what you say verbally, "No" becomes the default response you want to give to others. You will likely find yourself even more frustrated as you understand on an emotional level that you are never sharing your true feelings. When you are able to speak the truth of both your "Yes" and "No" in a calm manner, you will find that you experience a sense of emotional freedom and well-being.

When it is all said and done, when we delve deeply into our emotions, we almost always find that our strongest and most habitual response is covering up other feelings that we are not fully aware of. We feel hurt, disrespected, abandoned, or sad, and we cover over these feelings and lose touch with them, by expressing anger or resentment instead.

When we find ways to tap into our deeper emotions we invariably find that we have been neglecting some form of pain or discomfort. When we neglect or simply don't notice our deeper emotional reactions, we lose the ability to express our full range of emotions. In the process we find that by consistently expressing only one segment of our entire emotional range, we limit our ability to be happy and feel at ease within ourselves and with those that we interact with.

It is important to remember that our emotions emanate from the body. When you are feeling angry, your body generates a specific set of reactions that inform your rational mind of your emotional experience. When you are feeling respected or loved your body generates a very different set of reactions. With Seishindo and other disciplines you can explore the process of how your body generates your emotional state and you can come to understand how at times you say one thing with your body and something rather different with your words. You can come to understand how you wind up confusing yourself when you say one thing with your heart and another with your logical mind. If you do wind up confusing yourself on a regular basis, you will find that your overall health and vitality suffer in the process.

Only when you feel like you have the right to say "No" can you truly engage your heart in saying "Yes." Only when your body and your rational mind communicate the same message in a congruent manner, will you find yourself feeling empowered and at ease. Take the time to gently explore your feelings and you will find that your emotional well-being resides deep inside yourself, waiting to be touched and acknowledged.

Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from his thought-provoking ideas and a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by joining 7,000 subscribers to his complimentary newsletter devoted to Seishindo Somatic Life Coaching. You are also invited to learn more about the Seishindo approach to Anger Management issues, which draws from the wisdom of Aikido as well as scientific research. Participating in Charlie's on Anger Management Workshop can help you adopt the wisdom of Aikido to achieve a peaceful victory over anger. © Charlie Badenhop, 2005. You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines with the active links are included and you don't sell the article to others.

---

Stress Management: How to Use the Power of Focus

Here's a fun little experiment:Take a few seconds and look... Read More

How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters

The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More

No More Sleepless Nights (Insomnia)

Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More

Stress Management: Have To Vs. Get To

File this one under the category of "watch your language."The... Read More

Beyond the Stress of Success - Access Your Thriving Zone

Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More

How To Cut Down On College Stress

Probably the least appreciated form of stress is college stress.... Read More

5 Steps to Make Stress Your Best Friend

You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More

High Stress Means Low Self Esteem

Do you have the desire for a stress free life?... Read More

The Top Seven Causes Of Workplace Stress And Fifteen Ways To Get Rid Of Them

Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: Break the Rules!

Of all the sources of stress in our lives, faulty... Read More

Stress Management Shouldnt Create More Stress. 10 Ways To Reduce Unreasonable Stress and Boost Perf

We all know that stress levels in the workplace are... Read More

Waking Up Well - The Essentials

Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to... Read More

Ease Your Stress ? Change Your Life!

Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More

Those Deceiving Emotions

Deceiving? You bet they are. How? Without your even knowing... Read More

Put the 80/20 Rule to Work for Your Life!

Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule, but don't know... Read More

Dealing With Stress in Our Overworked Lives

As small business owners, we often take on more than... Read More

7 Successful Stress Management Techniques

Everyone needs successful stress management techniques. Easy to learn and... Read More

Stress Elimination

Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More

Worry: Is It Worthwhile Work or a Waste of Time?

As tools for change are discussed, one tool - that... Read More

Stress Relief in Minutes

For those who are suffering from stress, just about the... Read More

The Epidemic of the Eighties is Still Here

IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Value of Vitamin NO

What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More

Quick Steps On Handling Stress

Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker,... Read More

The Scoop on Stress and Exercise

Stress is defined as a response by your body to... Read More

13 Stress Reducers & Profit Boosters

The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More

Five Steps to Stress Relief

So, you've recognised that you are suffering from stress and... Read More

Stress Symptoms

Stress relief and managementRecognizing stress symptoms can be a positive... Read More

Rested? The Three Keys to Finding True Rest, Just in Case

What do you think of when you see that word?... Read More

Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm

Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More

Dealing with Workplace Stress

One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is... Read More

Conflict Resolution ... What The Heck Are You Thinking?

Do you get frustrated with your spouse, your kids, your... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More

Extreme Self-care: Make Time for Yourself

If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a... Read More