How to Get that It Factor Happening

Sitting here today in sunny Queensland Australia, I'm reflecting on what makes one person more attractive than another. Not just by physical attraction, but what makes them captivating. I've met absolutely gorgeous guys and girls that after spending five minutes with them, I'm already trying to find my escape route.

An occasion I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday, happened about 25 years ago. A friend of mine invited my family to visit him at a television station he worked at in Sydney. Of course we jumped at the chance! It's not every day you got such an opportunity!

We were met at the gate and were led down a corridor on the way to a sound stage. As I was passing by a room with an open door, I noticed blonde haired lady was having her hair done. It was Pamela Stephenson (Dr Pamela Connolly), wife of Billy Connolly. Our eyes met and she smiled at me. Her smile radiated the most amazing brilliant light which extended into and filled the entire dressing room! It was as if I was in the presence of an angel! Although I haven't followed her life, I vividly remember that 'it' quality about her.

Jennifer Hawkins has the 'it' quality as well. When she smiles she absolutely radiates with light. I have yet to speak with any woman who feels threatened by her or has said anything nasty about her.

John Travolta is another who is extremely charismatic and has the 'it' factor.

For me personally, I'm attracted to people who are confident, kind, humorous, smart and at peace with themselves.

So how can you get some of whatever 'it' is?

1. Peaceful individual's ? those standing in their personal power - are relaxing to be around, so if you're not peaceful, get some meditation in, or yoga, tai chi, anything really that involves stilling the mind. Once you know how, apply it across all parts of your life. Tap into peace whenever you need and want.

2. Self-confidence is a huge attractor. Start moving out of your comfort zone by taking baby steps first. Increase the size of your steps as you become more familiar with what it is you're doing. I started to manage my website several months ago and this was very scary in the beginning. As I gradually became more adept my confidence in my ability grew and continues to do so.

3. Self-love follows closely behind the self-confidence. When you have love of self like a ripple on a pond it will permeate across all time and space.

4. Positive people inspire and motivate me. However, before you go ahead and start a huge positive talk fest with anyone and everyone, check out the mood of others around you. There's nothing worse than listening to someone talking to you about fabulously positive and great things if you're walking the dark night of the soul. Meet (or match) others where they're at first, then gradually build up the positive talk and watch the relationship unfold.

5. More on matching body gestures?move in unison with people, breath using their rhythm, always subtly and always with respect.

6. This is one point I always mention because of its importance. Be in the present moment. When you start a conversation with someone or they with you, be attentive, curious and interested in what they're saying. If you're matching their facial expressions remember to stop smiling and nodding when they're talking about something they find very distressing (unless you have a close relationship with them?).

7. Start reading newspapers, magazines, books (fiction and non-fiction). Then you will always have something to talk about. Find out what others are talking about.

8. Share some of yourself with others ? not too much at the beginning of new relationships, and never reveal your entire life history in your first conversation!

9. Smile! A sincere smile is when it reaches your eyes.

10. Use your sense of humour, just make sure it's at an appropriate time and place. I once opened a speaking engagement with a funny story - all I heard were crickets! My next words were "moving right along now?."

This list isn't exhaustive, there's more you can do but if you start practicing the above, you're on you way to having some 'it' too!

Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives.

Michaela is the author of several e-books including Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts, and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My Desk (see http://www.michaelascherr.com/Newsletters.htm).

Married to David, Michaela has two children and a grandchild and currently lives in Brisbane Australia.

In The News:

---

Creating Relationship Synergy through Rapport Building

One of the great things about rapport is that it... Read More

Abundance Of Money - Abundance Of Love

How much happiness is there in a piece of paper... Read More

Vacation Longing: What You Can Learn From It

Every person's life journey is unique. Figuring out what you... Read More

A Minute of Deliberate Attraction is Better Than None

Before I explain why a minute of Deliberate Attraction is... Read More

The Real Secret of Attraction

The secret of attraction is the unconscious hope for healing... Read More

Increasing Money by Conquering Personal Fear and Greed

One of the first lessons that "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"... Read More

The Mind - What An Amazing Universe

You are what you think;The experts say we barely use... Read More

What Will It Cost You?

What will it cost you if you don't do it?Everyone... Read More

Self-Esteem: The Foundation of All You Achieve

At its core, your sense of self-esteem or self-worth has... Read More

Be Grateful for Gratitude

In Twelve Step meetings, it's traditional to groan when someone... Read More

True Friends Are Not Dream-Slashers

A friendship poem:Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paintIs who... Read More

One of the Many Ways That The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles Gets It Right

I probably would not be able to count the number... Read More

How Do You Attract Opportunity Into Your Life?

Someone recently asked me the question: "How can I have... Read More

Finders Keepers

Do you remember your younger years when you and your... Read More

4 Simple Steps To The Good Life

If you want to create the good life -- a... Read More

Your #1 Path to Hidden Power

Imagine that you could boost your confidence, courage, and compassion... Read More

Your Mind is a Battlefield

Every person should enjoy life in abundance and prosperity, but... Read More

4 Helpful Ways To Beat Shyness

Over half of all adults identify themselves as shy. Shyness... Read More

Dealing with Mr.Charisma

Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel... Read More

What Love and Money Have in Common

How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown... Read More

The Laws of the Universe

What I am about to tell you will take a... Read More

Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In

"How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new... Read More

What are You Creating?

Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit... Read More

What You Habitually Think Becomes Attracted to You

Are you frustrated with a certain area of your life?... Read More

Seven Truths of Universal Law

Truth To Live By:What truths do you live by? Are... Read More

Searching for Higher Ground: 24 Hours to a Better Life

There's a moment in one of my favorite films, Searching... Read More

Better Tame The Bull, Or, Youll Eat The Crow!

A man can stand a lot? as long as he... Read More

Basic Intuitive Timing for Business and Life

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which... Read More

Getting What You Want Most From Other People

Very often in relationships we do not seem to be... Read More

The Inner Critic Unveiled

Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become... Read More

Great Communication Skills

Having good communication skills in the workplace is important. This... Read More

What Goes Around, Comes Around

... Read More

Electrical Deficiencies

Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our... Read More