Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have learned when it comes to making the most of yourself. If this is true for you, then how are you going to improve?
Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing you will not know where to make changes to how you talk to people. How can you change what needs to be improved if you do not see it yourself?
There is a very simple way to generate awareness of how you behave with other people. A way to develop perspective that is not clouded by your biased perceptions.
Three Steps to Powerful Communication:
1 Be a neutral observer
Choose a recent conversation you had which did not go as well as you would have liked. Next, pretend for a moment that you are a neutral observer of the conversation. In your imagination go back in time to that incident and see yourself talking to that other person. Picture the surroundings, hear the sounds and feel the atmosphere of the place.
Then run through the entire conversation again, only this time imagine that you are the neutral observer. See yourself and the other person talking and listening to each other and notice the dynamics of the conversation. Pay special attention to the non verbal reactions.
By doing this you will be gathering a lot of information that will be helpful in noticing what works and what does not work in your communication.
2 Be the other person
Revisit the conversation again only this time cycle through it as if you were the other person. Imagine what it was like to be there looking at you and listening to you. You are now walking in their shoes so as to get a close up look at what it is like to deal with you.
You may find that you spot the reasons why the conversation did not go as well as you would have liked.
3 Ask yourself - how did I get the result I achieved?
In this stage of the process you put the responsibility on your shoulders alone for the outcome of the conversation. Blaming others will not help you to think creatively for solutions and ways to better your conversational skills.
Revisit that conversation one more time as the neutral observer and one time as the other person. In each case look for the answer to the question: how did I get this result? Then ask yourself: what could I do differently to get what I really want?
You will discover ways to change your approach that can dramatically improve how you communicate when it matters most.
By using this approach I often spot opportunities to use more emphasis on key points and the value of being enthusiastic when I want someone to consider my opinion. At other times I notice that I could listen more carefully instead of just getting carried away with my own agenda.
Play with this way of developing perspective for yourself and have fun spotting all the little differences that add up to a big difference in your ability to speak with impact.
Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He recently produced a 5 day ecourse on Persuasion Mastery. To get this for free send mailto:5daypersuasion@sendfree.com
How many times have you told yourself "yes!" today? Not... Read More
"Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!" --William... Read More
Have you ever been really sure about something, only to... Read More
In the latter half of the 1800s, when the telegraph... Read More
Congratulations! You are the world's expert.That's right: you are the... Read More
Life consists of lessons. Living is continual learning. Therefore, if... Read More
FENG shui (say "fung shway") is the art of creating... Read More
"We have two ears and one mouth, so that we... Read More
Every person's life journey is unique. Figuring out what you... Read More
"I'd like to find a partner who dances. Do you?"... Read More
What do we all strive for in life? Success! Success... Read More
Max jumped on my chest as soon as the first... Read More
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience... Read More
We all experience a little shyness at times with people... Read More
What matters most in life to you? Money, Time, Friends,... Read More
Most people want to be liked appreciated loved and adored... Read More
When I go out and talk to business people, I... Read More
It's been said that, "To attract attractive people, you must... Read More
This article was written for one purpose:To explain to you... Read More
There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in... Read More
It's always easier to attract the things we want in... Read More
The power of the mind draws certain events, circumstances and... Read More
If it were easy, everyone would do IT; everyone would... Read More
And the real sad part is that the people involved... Read More
Think for a moment about all the people you know... Read More
It was a long walk but someone had to do... Read More
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were... Read More
Last week, I had the privilege of leading a 4-day... Read More
Are you having a difficult time pinpointing what you want... Read More
We all have the power to change our lives. What... Read More
One of the great things about rapport is that it... Read More
You limit yourself. Yes, it is true. Each day you... Read More
When you hear the word "beads," do you immediately think... Read More
Being a child of the Seventies I'm a real fan... Read More
Peter Murphy recently interviewed communication expert John Barker. John is... Read More
Would you like to have more success in your life?... Read More
There was a woman who was in such a hurry... Read More
Are you tired of struggling and trying to realize your... Read More
Is being special or unique a property of an object... Read More
Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming... Read More
It is important to have your own values, beliefs and... Read More
Everyone can draw from the Universal Reserve Bank. What is... Read More
Introduction"Where you find yourself tomorrow is a function of the... Read More
Mannerisms and personality traits go a long way in making... Read More
Once in a while a book comes along that can... Read More
The process of human change begins within us. We all... Read More
Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel... Read More
We all experience a little shyness at times with people... Read More
What was your energy level like today? Did you wake... Read More
What are you willing to give up in order to... Read More
We human beings naturally have two kinds of state that... Read More
Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would... Read More
Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into... Read More
"Before I had a lot of money, I was really... Read More
We are often asked to tell our life-story. I wasn't... Read More
Do you have the necessary attributes to be a successful... Read More
Do you remember your younger years when you and your... Read More
So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few... Read More
(Excerpts From The Book) Successercising "The Science Of Success Achievement... Read More
I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged... Read More
I just moved into my new luxurious, harborside condo, overlooking... Read More
One message we hear from the time we are children... Read More
The statement ""The concept of free will is a fallacy""... Read More
Why Must We Find Truth:Finding truth can be a very... Read More
In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I... Read More
I hope this article finds you safe and well. I'm... Read More
Attraction |