The Boss from Hell: Quick to Criticize, Slow to Praise

So you have a boss who dumps all over you the moment things go wrong, but never seems to notice when things go right. Ouch.

Jamie is a hard-working, cheery, full-of-ideas kind of manager. She leads two high-functioning teams who support each other very well. So why does Jamie come to work with a stomachache every day? Why does her staff often feel paralyzed? It's because Jamie's boss, VP of Client Services, finds fault every day with Jamie and her team members. He seems to go out of his way to criticize. When the VP is away, the group functions like a well-oiled machine. When he is there, they gossip, avoid tough problems, and try to make themselves invisible.

As a defensive strategy, Jamie visits her boss every morning to take a reading of his mood and pre-empt any explosions. She tells him first thing what she and her team accomplished the day before, what issues they face, and how they are handling them. Sometimes the strategy works, sometimes it doesn't and the explosions come anyway. The constant stomachache is the price Jamie pays for trying to figure out how to please this overly critical boss.

Most of us can take a little criticism from our bosses from time to time when we've messed up, or haven't quite done something right. It can be tremendously demotivating, however, when criticism seems to be the only type of feedback we get, and we don't receive recognition for our positive contributions.

Chances are your boss isn't intentionally trying to demotivate you. It's doubtful that he has some master plan to make your life miserable. More likely, she has fallen into the all-too-common management trap of looking for things that are wrong instead of things that are right. Of course, this particular behaviour is not unique to managers. Many parents, coaches and peers (perhaps even you and me), fall into this trap.

If you have to deal with overly critical behaviour, there's a technique worth trying. The next few times your boss criticizes you, follow this three-step process:

1. Apologize

2. Let your boss know that you'll correct the problem

3. Finish off with a comment that gently reminds her that you do, occasionally, get things right. For example:

"Gee, and here I thought you were coming over to tell me what a good job I did on that last project." Say it with a smile, then go about the business of fixing your mistake.

It may take a few repetitions, but your boss should eventually get the message that you might like some positive encouragement.

Now, here's the part for the really courageous and truthful among you. You can actually tell your boss what you want. If you don't say anything, don't expect your boss to read your mind, or to be aware of how the constant criticism affects you. Say something like:

"I do appreciate feedback. It helps me improve. In addition to criticism, I also appreciate hearing about what I do well. It helps me know what to keep doing."

While you can't control how your boss talks to you, you can control the quality of your own communication, and how you respond. Good luck.

About the Author

Nicki Weiss is an internationally recognized Certified Professional Sales Management Coach, Master Trainer, and workshop leader. Since 1992, Nicki has trained, certified, and/or coached more than 6,000 business executives, sales managers and salespeople.

Nicki guarantees increased sales performance when sales managers become better sales coaches. Sign up for her FREE monthly e-zine, Something for NothingTM, which has powerful tips and techniques for sales managers who are ready to make this transformation. Sign up at http://www.saleswise.ca You can email her at nicki@saleswise.ca or call 416-778-4145.

---

Sales Forecasting For New Businesses

Sales forecasting is the process of organizing and analysing information... Read More

Run a Productive Business From Your Car-Office

The way we do business has changed dramatically over the... Read More

Your Extended Shadow And Successful Sales Management

In a small midwestern town, the local high school of... Read More

The Benefits of Catalog Sales For Your Business

Things to watch out for when selling your product in... Read More

Hiring--A Vital Key In Sales Management Success

Recently, I was asked to spend some time on the... Read More

Snuff Out the Competition Without Leaving a Mark!

Does the competition drive you crazy? Are they relentless about... Read More

Building Trust For Lifetime Success

Trust.One word.One very powerful word that can increase both first... Read More

Pointless Targets

I recall a heated discussion with a sales director some... Read More

Effective Sales Territory Management

How you prioritize your sales territory management activities depends upon... Read More

What Is A Proposal? And Why Do You Need One?

Do you know anyone who regularly wins bids? Or can... Read More

Sex, Drugs, & Rock-n-Roll at Trade Shows

Here's the Scenario...You're at a trade show. Out of town.... Read More

Is Your Sales Trust Factor High Enough to Win Against the Competition?

How high is your sales trust factor?Is it higher than... Read More

Make Time, Not Excuses

There are four primary activities that successful salespeople engage in... Read More

Keeping Your Sales Team Motivated

Sales managers frequently approach me for advice on how to... Read More

Management From Within

Inspiration and Management from Within ? Part 2.The more you... Read More

Getting Off The Advertising And Sales Rollercoaster

Seeing the results of advertising your business can be like... Read More

Train a Winning Sales Team: Rounding Third and Heading for Home

Although I never met the man, I imagine Lou Boudreau... Read More

How to Write a Business Plan Sales Section for a Mobile Service

We all agree one of the most important parts of... Read More

Sacking Clients: Brand Power Wheel

Remember in the last message we talked about your directional... Read More

Poor Performance - Fix it by Coaching

Coaching is about finding out the cause of poor performance... Read More

Disclosure Laws Favor International Terrorists

The Federal Trade Commission has rule that are supposedly in... Read More

How You Can Raise Your Business Earnings By 50% With An Age-Old Magic Truth

Imagine increasing your business earnings by 30, 40, or 50%.... Read More

A Coachs Handbook For Sales Managers

This article may be reprinted in its entirety with express... Read More

6 Steps to Avoid Losing Summer Sales

It's a fact - the online world dies down in... Read More

Speed-up Your Sales Cycle

This week's article is my response to a question by... Read More

Increase Your Sales - Accept Credit Cards

Many people today simply prefer the convenience of paying by... Read More

All Small Businesses Need to Gather Community Intel

How well do you know your community? As business owners... Read More

Accepting Responsibility for Your Sales Success

That we live in a time of relentless and pervasive... Read More

It?s Time For A Sales Management Revolution

Are you dog tired because of the way you manage... Read More

8 Procedures to Take Control of Sales and Marketing

The Cash to Cash Cycle Part Three of SeriesWe're sprinting... Read More

The Art and Science of Managing Expectations in Selling

It is very easy to fall into a trap with... Read More

When Its DUH? Time at Trade Show - 3 Little Words Save the Day

TIME, MONEY, HASSLE - You can make a sale on... Read More

Book of Lists Marketing for Pressure Washing Companies

The American Business Journals produces a Book of Lists each... Read More