Compounding Effect of Selfishness

Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping centre. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling.

"What did you wish for, Katie?" I asked, expecting some mention of Barbie in the answer.

"I wished that my brother could stay at home with us all of the time, and not have to go into hospital any more." She replied.

I looked over at my wife, and saw that she had a tear in her eye.

On reflection, it made me realise how unselfish children can be in certain situations. They do not torture themselves with bias or perceptions of how their actions might impact upon others. They generally do what they want to do, and say what they want to say, until they get told to conform by parents or teachers. Children do need to be informed of boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, or words that shouldn't be said. They should, however, be allowed to fully develop their natural imagination and caring instincts in a positive, supportive framework.

By the same token, it made me realise how selfish us grown-ups have become. It seems that, for a lot of people, every act is performed only because of an expectation of something in return. You don't think so? Let's look at some examples:

  • You complain that your sister bought you a Christmas present that cost less than the one you bought for her.

  • You take your daughter out for a bike ride only so that you don't have to play a game with her.

  • You take two-hour lunch breaks at work on a regular basis, yet you complain at appraisal time about your poor pay-rise.

  • You give up your seat on the train only because you think it will make you look good in front of others, and not because you want to.

  • You lend your best friend a small amount of money to help her out, yet all you can think about is when she will pay you back.

    Giving with the expectation to receive is not giving, it's lending. If you are lending somebody something, even subconsciously, you automatically expect some interest in return. This interest element is what causes the problem.

    In the same way that interest on money compounds, so does this bank of accumulated selfishness. Like your monetary debt is always in the back of your mind, your subconscious will not let you move forward unless you balance the equation.

    The most difficult way to become successful is by attempting to achieve everything on your own. If you desire long-term success at whatever you do, you can only get (and stay) there with the help of other people. Only by focusing on the other person will you be able to give without expecting to receive. Help other people, without expectation, and you help yourself on the road to success.

    To Our Success!

    About The Author

    Gary Vurnum has left the corporate world behind to focus on helping others succeed. He uses the lessons he has learnt from surviving the life-or-death situations he has faced with his severely disabled son. Others may not want his life...but he is the happiest he has ever been. Send a blank email to sofsuccess@getresponse.com to get his free 4 part report on Success - "11 Reasons Why You Will Never Succeed" gary@scienceofsuccess.com

    In The News:

    • pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Limited Thought, Limited Experience

    I was reminded once again the other day about how... Read More

    Security Is An Inside Job

    While I was growing up, my dad repeatedly told me... Read More

    Is Effortless Prosperity Really Possible?

    Dear friends,Whenever I read the words "effortless prosperity" a chain... Read More

    No Ifs, Ands Or Buts

    If we could choose right now, this moment, how we... Read More

    Jerry Green?s Top Ten Adversity Busters

    I've navigated plenty of speed bumps on life's road. My... Read More

    How to be Successful in Life or Small Business!

    Not everyone is programmed to be a successful businessperson, many... Read More

    Great Things Cannot Happen Without Change

    If you always do what you've always done, you'll always... Read More

    Creating Your Own Destiny

    If you don't know where you are going, you won't... Read More

    Are You Killing Your Beautiful Dream?

    And the real sad part is that the people involved... Read More

    Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

    I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged... Read More

    4 Important Conversation Tips for Your Personal and Professional Lives

    If you are searching for a way to improve your... Read More

    Overcoming Underearning ? Recognizing the Problem and Taking the First Steps Towards A Solution

    Underearning is a process of not really making enough to... Read More

    What Image Are You Projecting?

    I want you to think about something for a few... Read More

    Just Allow? But How?

    If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're... Read More

    The Secret of Self Care

    Wherever you go, there you are. There's no escaping it... Read More

    The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike

    There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the... Read More

    Who are You Listening To?

    Have you ever noticed that there is no shortage of... Read More

    Harvest Moon Lessons

    The full moon in September is often bigger and brighter... Read More

    The Real Secret of Attraction

    The secret of attraction is the unconscious hope for healing... Read More

    Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today!

    "If you can see it, you can have it." Is... Read More

    Making New Friends

    How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into... Read More

    Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz

    How well do you understand how gut instincts ? yours... Read More

    Self Improvement and Self Growth

    Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become popular.... Read More

    Body Language Counts!

    Why communication through body language and appropriate language are crucial... Read More

    The Centre of Creative Powers!

    Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at... Read More

    How Are You Inventing Your Life Today?

    "Organisms do not experience environments, they create them." -- From... Read More

    Who Are You Really?

    'Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never... Read More

    Emotional Alchemy

    See if this scenario sounds familiar. You're under a lot... Read More

    First Impressions ? Turn Fear Into Courage

    The top business people all say the same thing ?... Read More

    You Can?t Seek for Change and Control at the Same Time

    I saw a coaching client recently who wanted to get... Read More

    Recognize Desire AS Power

    I just moved into my new luxurious, harborside condo, overlooking... Read More

    Electrical Deficiencies

    Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our... Read More

    How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Cooperate With You

    Have you ever wondered what it would be like if... Read More