Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to make it up as we go along. But relationships need much more conscious planning in order to be successful. In a hectic and throwaway culture, couples need a vision for their relationship.

What is a relationship vision?

Just what is a relationship vision? It's a deliberate design for your relationship: what you're willing to give and what you would like to receive.

Designing a relationship vision involves asking questions such as ``If we knew we couldn't fail, how would we like this relationship to be?'' and ``If we could have it any way we wanted it, how would it be?'' These are simply questions to get you started in designing your relationship.

Let's take a look at five practical steps to creating a relationship vision and use an example from a couple I'll call Bob and Mary.

Step 1: Decide on an area of the relationship you would like to design and improve. Bob and Mary say they want to spend more time together despite busy schedules and two children.

Step 2: Brainstorm for ways you can achieve your shared goal. Be creative; no idea is too silly or impossible at this stage. For our couple, it might be that one or both quit their jobs and run off to an island, or start their own business, or meet for lunch a few times a week.

Step 3: Choose two or three of the ideas that will send you in the direction you want to go. Bob and Mary chose meeting for lunch.

Step 4: Assign tasks to each partner including a deadline. Bob and Mary agreed that they would both clear the schedules and honor their lunch meetings as they would other business appointments. Bob would have to go to work earlier on the days he met his wife for lunch.

Step 5: Follow through. No matter how good your intentions, both partners must honor their commitment to each other. Their lunches give Bob and Mary time together without the children and provide them both with relief from the stress of the work week.

What Bob and Mary did may not work for you. Simply find what does work for you and remember to ask,

What would if be like if ...?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

Like Father

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More

Two Kinds of Love

Love is something we all need, and want. For love,... Read More

To Hold or to Set One Free!

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying great health.... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Resolve Conflict

Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my... Read More

When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do

Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More

Valentines Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband

If you have the uneasy feeling that your husband is... Read More

Russian Brides - Who Are They?

In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More

Why Do Men and Women Misunderstand Each Other So Much

Joke from a Woman to another Woman "Some husbands are... Read More

How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships

"You know, I really do love fish!" My friend... Read More

Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their... Read More

Things Every Couple Should Know

In my family law practice, one of the most common... Read More

American Women Really Don?t Like You

Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in... Read More

Desirous Attachment , the Trap and the Solution

I've seen a lot in my life. A lot of... Read More

The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it?

1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience... Read More

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

One of the keys to obtaining a better life or... Read More

The Unfairly Judged Professor

An All Too Familiar TaleShe takes her teaching responsibilities seriously;... Read More

Romance Matters

You are never too old and it is never too... Read More

Relationships Technology

The notion that there can be a technology of relationships... Read More

Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers

For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a... Read More

Relationships: Last a Lifetime

Stepping into a new position brought along a few surprises.... Read More

She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Who Is Some Who Loves You?1. Someone who sees the... Read More

10 Things Never to Say to A Guy

1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? You'll see him... Read More

Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo

Well, here I am very much in love and starting... Read More

How to Kiss and Make Up

Was it a hectic day for you, or did you... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 2

Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social... Read More

Find Love The Zen Way

"If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 2 The Not-the-Same Syndrome

How often do we complain that our man isn't romantic... Read More

Are You My Soul Mate?

I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and... Read More

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn... Read More