So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend whom you haven't seen in a while and you're trying to keep things interesting by talking about the days events, how much you miss each other, etc.
So far so good...people who know me know that I approve of anything that is positive. But to be honest, this might not be enough. It's human nature to get bored, to let things become routine, and before you know it the fire starts to fizzle. This is one of the biggest challenges of a long-distance relationship. However, we do know of one very helpful solution to your problems: playful, innocent phone sex.
It's all about the sex Baby!
People are sexual by nature, and phone sex is a great way to express this sexuality without being physical and is especially useful for couples in long distance relationships. Since you two cannot be physical with each other, this is a great way to connect with each other on a totally different level. Since its not physial, you're focusing, and hence improving, on the sensual aspect of your relationship and increasing desire for the physical aspect.
By enjoying proper phone sex with each other, the two of you will become more aware of each other's sexual desires, learn about each other's sexual fantasies, and learn not be shy with your significant other. Not only that, but you'll have fun and hopefully get some pleasure out of the experience. Most importantly, your relationship will get a much-needed kick in the back.
So, how do we even do this?
Glad you asked. Now, some couples will be ready to get right into it and find that enjoying phone sex comes more natural than they think. However, when my girlfriend and I first decided to try phone sex, we weren't sure about our comfort level nor what we were doing. Instead of talking dirty over the phone on day 1, we tried an approach that lets you gradually build up confidence and comfort. It worked for us, but if you're BOTH willing, the other strategy will work just as well for you.
Involved in a long-distance relationship relationship ourselves, my girlfriend and I started out by telling each other stories online. We would take turns telling a sexual story about us, in a "I had a dream about"-like fashion. Online is particularly convenient because since you're not on the phone, you have more time to think about something that turns you on and your voice doesn't sound nervous.
Be creative. Think of real-life situations and fantasies that would drive you wild if they came true. This is your chance to be both realistic and unrealistic. If you catch yourself bored, write down some ideas for stories or scenarios you want to try with your partner, and implement them once you get online or on the phone. Try to feed off of each other's likes and pay attention to dislikes. Use as many details as possible, even the tiniest make a difference. Try not to talk about things you two would never try sexually in person.
Practice online through messaging if you'd like, and once you're ready, get on that phone. I actually prefer to do it this way ...some time online, weeks maybe, then on the phone, then mix it up. It adds variety and gives you more options. Once on the phone, you can add voice tricks, such as practicing sexy sounds. Practice those soft pleasurable moans [especially if you're a girl]: couple that with a good story and you can't lose. Its great because both of you will feel turned on by the phone sex.
If possible, take advantage of webcams, web sounds, and combine them with phones. You'll find that as time goes on, your inhibitions are thrown to the wind...go with it! Keep it going and turn up the heat on your relationship. For you guys out there, it beats porn, and girls, you might get more turned on by your long-distance boyfriend then your friends are by their local boy toys. You don't have to worry about performing (physically) sexually and the only thing holding you back here is your own imagination. So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone.
Timothy Winters is a writer who specializes in interpersonal relations. He has written several articles concerning relationships, dating, friendship and other related topics for http://www.thecollegeguys.com
Families are made up of individuals; men, women, and children.... Read More
The art of romance and the art of Zen are... Read More
As a betrayed partner this was one of the first... Read More
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You... Read More
In the 17th century, divination devices called The Tablets of... Read More
As is learned in the study of Comparative Religion, the... Read More
People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They... Read More
True Love! We all dream of being in love with... Read More
Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More
It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant... Read More
While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More
Online infidelity is more prevalent than you think. This includes... Read More
Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to... Read More
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More
Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out... Read More
Trust is something that is important to every single relationship... Read More
Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of... Read More
In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned... Read More
Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More
Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a... Read More
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More
Out of the blue, slap bang in the middle of... Read More
In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More
One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their... Read More
We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keen ability... Read More
My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More
Staying close in your relationship does not just happen.Staying close... Read More
Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes... Read More
We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling... Read More
Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More
The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type,... Read More
One of the keys to obtaining a better life or... Read More
More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried... Read More
1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More
The dictionary defines infidelity as "unfaithfulness to a sexual partner".... Read More
How many of you have ever been involved with a... Read More
I always knew my Oriental wife was Jewish; after all,... Read More
Just about every night at our house, we read a... Read More
Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More
Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship... Read More
Does your dating relationship have good communication? Communication during dating... Read More
Dear Candace,I am in the process of getting divorced and... Read More
Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More
When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make... Read More
People who have been swept off their feet know the... Read More
How many time have you felt an instant attraction to... Read More
So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily... Read More
Recovering from an affair is hard work and will take... Read More
When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More
When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their... Read More
A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and... Read More
In my relationship work, this question is probably the one... Read More
As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself... Read More
One of the keys to obtaining a better life or... Read More
The next morning he /or she is gone. And because... Read More
Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in... Read More
To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to... Read More
Question: What % of your bad moods at work are... Read More
Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More
"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More
Are you looking for the Ideal Man? While my book... Read More
Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman,... Read More
Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts... Read More
When asked why their marriage is on the rocks, many... Read More
Relationship |