How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't want to accept.

How do we handle turning down these invitations without hurting or insulting the person who invited us?

If you are turning down an invitation, first be very clear in your own mind whether you are turning down the particular event, the person who issued the invitation, or both.

Sometimes we would like to accept the invitation, but we have a previous commitment that conflicts with the timing of the event.

Sometimes we want to attend the event to which we have been invited, but we don't want to go with the particular person who asked us. Sometimes we want to go out with that person, but we don't want to attend that particular event.

If the only reason that you are turning down the invitation is because it conflicts with your schedule, make this very clear in your reply, and if it is feasible, suggest an alternative that works better for you.

You can say something like, "Greg, I would love to see that new movie with you, but unfortunately, I'm already scheduled to do something else on the 29th. Would another evening next week work for you?"

This reply makes it very clear to Greg that his invitation is appreciated and another date is being suggested instead. If Greg had simply received a "no" to his request, he would not know whether it was the time period that was being turned down, the activity, or himself.

If you really want to go out with Greg, and you are available that particular evening, but you want to turn down the invitation because you don't want to see the movie he has selected, you can say, "I'd really love to go to a movie with you next Saturday, however, I don't like war movies. I prefer comedies. Is there another movie you would like to see with me that night, or perhaps on a different evening?"

This reply makes it clear you don't like the particular movie selection, but everything else about the invitation is fine with you.

What if you don't really want to go out with Greg because, although you like war movies, and you are available on the 29th, you don't want to go out with him?

Most likely you don't want to hurt or insult him, but you also don't want to be pressured to go out with him.

If you don't want to accept, you can simply say, "Thanks for the invitation but I'm already seeing someone," or, "Thank you but I'm not interested in going out at the present time".

You do not need to explain yourself, or your reasons. If the other person starts to ask you badgering questions, or becomes abusive, be as polite as you wish, but leave immediately.

Sometimes we receive ambiguous invitations when we aren't really clear whether the invitation is meant as a romantic date, or if the other person is simply suggesting a shared activity with you as a friend.

In such a case, it's best to ask the other person outright.

Although it can be embarrassing to ask the other person to clarify his or her intentions, it will be even more embarrassing if you make an assumption about the evening that turns out to be wrong.

Sometimes we would accept the invitation if it meant that it was a romantic date, but we would turn it down if the other person only wanted to be "friends", and sometimes we are the one who only wants to be "friends" and we want to avoid a romantic entanglement.

In such a case we need to know exactly what is being offered before we decide whether to accept the invitation or to turn it down.

This article by Royane Real is taken from her new book "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want ? Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" Sign up for her free newsletter filled with Life Improving tips! http://www.royanereal.com

---

Dinner Scooped Off the Floor - Why Men Wont Commit

"We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is... Read More

Relationship Quiz - Copasetic, Caution, or Conundrum?

This quiz is based on key areas of communication and... Read More

Relationship Your Way To A Successful and Fulfilling Life

What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean? There... Read More

My Life

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an... Read More

Relationhip Advice: How to Have Fun Together

Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More

How To Change A Loved Ones Annoying Habits

Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More

Are You A Hopium Addict?

Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? - How to fine tune your relationship radar

I don't think a week goes by that I don't... Read More

Being Dumped, Just Plain Sucks!

Today I received a question from a guy. Here is... Read More

What Keeps Couples Together

There are several things you can do, especially when your... Read More

Two Easy Steps To Finding Joy In All Your Relationships

Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More

My Concept

From my own personal experiences with relationships I believe in... Read More

The Big Secret of Age

Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More

Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving

I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More

Romance Matters

You are never too old and it is never too... Read More

Communication Tips for Heart Healthy Relationships

It doesn't matter how old we are, matters of the... Read More

Are You My Soul Mate?

I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and... Read More

How To Re-ignite the Fire in Your Relationship!

Couples that are together for a while sometimes suffer from... Read More

Soulmates, Are They Pre-ordained?

One day a telegram arrived at a man's door. When... Read More

How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction... Read More

Parasitic Relationship

Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More

The Real Way for Men to WOW the Woman They Love

Guys, I know the struggle, you want to give her... Read More

The 100 Laws

In any group of abused women there's almost always at... Read More

When Attracting Sexy Women, Remember... Time And Circumstance Change Everything

Many guys are just too intimidated and full of anxiety... Read More

Commonsense Approach to Domestic Violence

Domestic violence the catch phrase for the past ten years.... Read More

27 Characteristics of Loving Men

Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows... Read More

What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold

Everything was great.We had been dating for 6 months. We... Read More

How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup

Whether you do the dumping or you are the one... Read More

How to Improve Relationships with Feng Shui Remedies

In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned... Read More

What?s Special About Abused Women?

Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 2

Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Apologize and Forgive

I'm sorry can be words that are much too easy... Read More

I Have A Secret to Share

Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last... Read More