You CAN Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It's as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I don't know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples can't know any more than they do. After all, what's to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I don't know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of "life" and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesn't care what the other person's values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally don't understand men because the men don't act like women and similarly, men don't understand women because they don't act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships don't take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her "irrational" behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we don't learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don't become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about relationship coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don't wait until it is too late.

Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. She also helps people improve the quality of their relationships with the important people in their lives. For further information about Kim visit her website at http://www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz or contact her at (708) 957-6047.

---

Never Ever Show Youre Jealous

O.k., you're standing there all alone at a party and... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Solve Problems and Have Fun Too

I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in... Read More

Your Relationships Begin With You

As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself... Read More

Diamond Promise Rings ? For When You Mean It

Diamond promise rings are quite common, but many are not... Read More

Add Trust To Your Relationship

Trust is something that is important to every single relationship... Read More

Dont Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More

The Informal Normal In a Black-Tie-Affair World

Have you noticed the trend?You ever notice how on programs... Read More

The Flames of Love

Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good... Read More

What Keeps Couples Together

There are several things you can do, especially when your... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration

Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More

Attention Guys: Impress Your Girls - Send Flowers!

Remember that big hug she gave you when you got... Read More

Catch a Cheating Lover?

Relationships. Virtually all of us are in one, or at... Read More

Communication Tips for Heart Healthy Relationships

It doesn't matter how old we are, matters of the... Read More

Shattered Visions

Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a... Read More

How to Use Your Brain to Seduce Women

CHESS-MATEIf you're one of those guys telling to yourself that... Read More

American Women Really Don?t Like You

Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in... Read More

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes, Part I

Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction... Read More

Secrets Your Husband/Significant Other Dont Want You to Know

1. He Only Pretends Not to Listen.He heard what you... Read More

Valentine?s Day is Fast Approaching, So Gather the Chocolates and Lingerie

That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More

How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You

'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More

Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo

Well, here I am very much in love and starting... Read More

Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

Celebrate Friendship Day with Fresh Flowers!

Send flowers this Friendship Day, Sunday, August 7th! Across the... Read More

Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?

We hear it all the time. "He just won't make... Read More

Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning

I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard... Read More

What is Romance and How Can You be More Romantic?

Whether you've been in a relationship for a long time,... Read More

Finding Love With Feng Shui

If true love has been eluding you, you could increase... Read More

How Love Dies: Spot the Symptoms Now, and Get Your Love Back on Track

Are you starting to feel that your man has changed... Read More

Second Time Around the Block

Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or... Read More

Whats in a Kiss

Just think of being in front of a warm cracking... Read More

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More