Top Ten List of What to Do and What Not to Do in Relationships

Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a rollercoaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship coach, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships.

MEN

DO

1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice.

2. Trust and respect her.

3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship.

4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions.

5. Continue your courtship even after she's committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship.

6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman doesn't care if you call her at work to say, "I love you" or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones.

7. Honor any agreements you have made with her.

8. Encourage her goals and direction.

9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her.

10. Say, "I'm sorry" when you've done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

DON'T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.

2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment.

3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren't.

4. When you need to sort things out in your head, just explain you need space, you aren't angry with your partner and that you'll be back.

5. Criticize your partner, especially her appearance.

6. Yell at your partner as if you were her father.

7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as "You NEVER listen to me;" when what she really means is that you aren't listening to her at that time.

8. Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.

9. Violate her privacy.

10. Forget special occasions.

Men and women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future. John Gray began this revolutionary discovery in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. The Women's List follows:

WOMEN

DO

1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible.

2. Trust and respect him.

3. Stop nagging.

4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree.

5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so.

6. Make love creatively and often. Don't be afraid to initiate lovemaking.

7. Honor any agreements you have made with him.

8. Support his goals and direction.

9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can't read your mind.)

10. Accept his "No" gracefully, trusting that he would if he could.

DON'T

1. Go to bed angry with your partner.

2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need.

3. Attempt to converse with your partner during a good movie or sporting event.

4. Continue to "give" in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment.

5. Criticize him or put him down, especially the things he does.

6. Scold your partner as if he were a child.

7. Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for "bad" behavior.

8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking.

9. Violate his privacy.

10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don't become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about relationship coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don't wait until it is too late.

Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. She also helps people improve the quality of their relationships with the important people in their lives. For further information about Kim visit her website at http://www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz or contact her at(708) 957-6047.

---

Relationship Advice: Words Can Hurt or Heal

"Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will... Read More

Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women

One of the biggest complaints women have about men is... Read More

Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

Rescue and Rebuild Your Relationship: 7 Tips to Make it Work

Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.Establish time... Read More

The 4 Deadly Mistakes of Wife Seduction

When a guy gets turned down over and over again... Read More

The Relativity of Your Life

We live in the world of the relative. What and... Read More

Are the Neighbors Next Door Secretly Swinging?

The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type,... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship)

We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More

How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship

Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of... Read More

The Counsel of Caution

Caution is a word with a fine old-fashioned ring. The... Read More

Thinking Lingerie on Super Sunday?

February will bring with it one of the most important... Read More

Your Next Argument: 10 Thngs to Consider Before You Get There

1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration

Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More

Getting More From Dating, Romantic Relationships, and Marriage

Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More

Relationships Technology

The notion that there can be a technology of relationships... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Who Is Some Who Loves You?1. Someone who sees the... Read More

How To Give Women What They Want and Need?The Forgotten Method of Wooing

Remember When?When you were in elementary school, high school, and... Read More

Improve Relationships With Style

Have you ever felt that relationships are messy? These messes,... Read More

Self Truth and Your Relationships

Questions and AnswersHow can I learn how to be true... Read More

What is Romance and How Can You be More Romantic?

Whether you've been in a relationship for a long time,... Read More

Prince Charles and Camilla - The Greatest Love Story Of Our Time

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other... Read More

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't... Read More

Reading Body Language in Depth

Body Language can tell you a lot about what is... Read More

ARC of Understanding

In relationship we all make mistakes and sometimes we are... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed

You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.Things... Read More

Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters?

Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent... Read More

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

Can You Become A Better Friend After Taking A Friendship Quiz?

Q. Does a friendship quiz really work?A. That depends upon... Read More

9 Myths About Being Single

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried... Read More

Making Passion More Passionate

Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many... Read More

Pros and Cons of Online Relationships

Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating... Read More