Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why it takes so long for us to know that it is abusive, addictive love we are experiencing. The damage created by an abusive relationship only worsens over time, weakening the abused and giving the abuser more power. As the situation continues, without resolution or a plan to change the dynamic, eventually abusers will typically threaten and carry through on their physical threats. How and where does it start? Through all the confusion and madness how do we find ourselves in this sort of mess and what can we do about it?

Abuse comes from a need to control, fear of abandonment, lack of trust and love, a learned behavior and lack of knowledge to move towards resolution in a positive way.

It often begins with verbal abuse, learned behaviors that are unhealthy, and not knowing how to develop a caring, loving relationship. Being unaware of its damaging effects the one being abused slowly loses confidence, self esteem, their identity, and respect for themselves. The abused person is unaware of how they are keeping themselves stuck and how they can get out of the painful abusive pattern.

No one deserves abuse nor are they in any way responsible for the way the abuser is treating them. They do, however, need to learn why it is happening and what they need to change in themselves. First and foremost is to gain self respect.

Abusive relationships need professional help and a dedicated participation from the people involved to make the change. If both partners do the work - the freedom from pain, the true feeling of being loved and loving another human being are only a part of the rewards. It takes a responsibility and respect of your self to break the pattern and learn new ways to be. If your partner is not willing to be apart of it seek help on your own to develop a course of action.

Are you in an abusive relationship or know someone who is? Having been there myself I found it hard to know where to start, and didn't even want to talk about it. It hurts to go back there in my mind. Emotional abuse is an enormous problem, and often a silent problem because there are no visible scars. Silent because you live in fear ? fear of not being loved, fear of being alone, fear of the unknown. Women hope it will get better if they try harder, do exactly what their partner asks of them ? "if I just do this better, he will love me". Hope isn't enough: you need to take action by seeking counseling. Read everything you can to understand why you stay hooked into an abusive relationship. There is no need to live in pain.

Don't take abuse lightly, get professional help immediately ? physical, emotional or psychological abuse can lead to murder. Ask your doctor, pastor, a trusted family member, or friend to assist you in finding the help you need. Abusive relationships do not change without specialized help.

Barb Keck, has inspired others to do and be what they strive for and live life as pain free as possible for years. Her own long road of "recovery" became the "discovery of life". Through reinventing her life to create a new one her writings today help others to be resourceful and face life's challenges finding new ways to be.

Want to find answers to daily dilemas? Visit http://www.vidaville.com

Article Reprint Rights - Feel free to publish this article on your website. You must agree to leave all author credits, active links contained within intact, and "as is" and NOT hidden behind a java or redirect script. Please notify the author at barb@vidaville.com.

---

How to Improve Relationships with Feng Shui Remedies

In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned... Read More

Choosing an Online Dating Service

The problem with choosing a dating service is choice --... Read More

Boston Lawyers, DC Lawyers and Individual Rights

Looks like everyone wants to sue someone right? Well, I... Read More

Victorias Secret Disclosed!

SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3

Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag... Read More

The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There... Read More

How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future?

In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a... Read More

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse... Read More

Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife

According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will... Read More

If He Insists That You Work...

Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara... Read More

Love Relationships: Focusing on What went Right

What's all the Hype about Love Relationships, Anyway?Love relationships are... Read More

Relationship Your Way To A Successful and Fulfilling Life

What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean? There... Read More

Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their... Read More

Married and ECheating ? A Dreadful Alliance!

In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More

Relationship Advice: Powerful Tips for Staying Close and Connected

Staying close in your relationship does not just happen.Staying close... Read More

Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

Ultimately, you want a partner you can be your true... Read More

Girl Talk - Boy Talk

Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how... Read More

Noon (A Love Story)

Noon (A Short Love story, dedicated to my wife Rosa)Marina,... Read More

king Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Do you want to put to rest the people and... Read More

Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness?

A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people... Read More

Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground

It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes--Celebrity Romance

Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a hard... Read More

To Hold or to Set One Free!

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying great health.... Read More

What You Should Know About Domestic Abuse

What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of domestic abuse,... Read More

Understanding Your Teen Relationship

Teen relationships are touchy things. Girls are often ready for... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

10 Clues of an Online Affair

1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who... Read More

How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You

The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman... Read More

Zen And Romance

The art of romance and the art of Zen are... Read More

10 Ways to Seduce A Woman

I have written this article by request but want to... Read More

Mairi

Mairi came into my life about two years ago. She... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Create a Nag-Free Zone

Q: My wife and I have a good marriage that... Read More