Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships

Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of relationships, but in intimate ones, it is all the more important. As with the closer the relationship will become it is easier for those lines to blur. You may ask yourself what is a boundary and why setting, or recognizing them do for me. Boundaries are personal limits we have with other people emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Often we already have these built-in, but sadly we often ignore them because we were taught to be nice to everyone, or that our desire to be in a relationship may outweigh how we behave.

There are at least three different categories of boundaries: physical, emotional, and spiritual. The easiest to understand is the physical boundary, as we experience this one literally on a daily basis. Think of this has if someone is standing too close to you, and how that makes you recoil inside slightly. If you were to apply this to a relationship or someone you may be dating it may take place in terms of a forced physical intimacy before you are ready. Often when these initially happen we get an uncomfortable feeling, it can be a shortness of breath, a sense of being violated, or something like a sinking feeling in your stomach. These are all signs our boundaries are working, and we need to pay attention to them.

Emotional boundaries can impact us in every day life as well. These typically take place in situations where we know the other person. This can be something like a co-worker making an emotional appeal for you to by trash bags for their child for fundraising. This can be our potential dating partner trying to force emotional intimacy through revealing too much about themselves, or asking us to do the same for them. A violation of an emotional boundary could be a potential mate trying to secure a commitment in a relationship before we are ready. Once again if we feel uncomfortable when these things happen, its time to pay attention, and ask ourselves what is making us feel this way.

Spiritual boundary violations can be very devastating. A very easy example of this may be when a child seeks approval from a parent for something they have done, and then that child is met with criticism. These violations tend to run deeper than an emotional one since they feel like an attack on us. This could be a partner making an overly harsh comment, or if someone is putting someone else down and making you feel uncomfortable. When these transgressions happen you should take note, other people should not make you feel bad, and attacks on the spirit can be difficult to get over.

When your boundaries are violated, you often have a negative reaction and my not know why. Learning about where your personal limits are is a wonderful way for you to set expectations in a relationship, and learn about yourself. There is no better time for you to do this than before a relationship starts, or in beginning of a relationship. Re-setting your boundaries in older relationships is possible, but it will come with a longer adjustment period. Take time to establish what your personal expectations are, so you are always comfortable in your relationships.

Editor for Copykat.com, Stephanie also writes a variety of other articles from her own personal experiences in life.

---

Prison Wife: Stand By Your Man

There are approximately 2 million men in the prison system... Read More

Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 2

Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social... Read More

The Womans Guide to Younger Men

I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped... Read More

Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love

I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably... Read More

What Is Love And The Love Equation

What is Love? This question has bothered me for a... Read More

[Conflict Resolution] The Philosophy of Fear and Confrontation

Is there now, or has there been, a person or... Read More

Slaying The Green Eyed Monster

He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Resolve Conflict

Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In... Read More

Self Truth and Your Relationships

Questions and AnswersHow can I learn how to be true... Read More

Essense of Infidelity

On one very popular web site there were 260 posts... Read More

Why Do Men Cheat?

In my relationship work, this question is probably the one... Read More

Stand By Your Man: No Matter What?

We all heard the report of a prisoner escaping after... Read More

The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it?

1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience... Read More

8 Ways to Improve Your Long Distance Relationship

Couples in love may often find themselves having to live... Read More

If You Cannot Make Friends, Make Foes

There are few desires (if any) stronger than the deep... Read More

Thinking Lingerie on Super Sunday?

February will bring with it one of the most important... Read More

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."That's how the sticker in... Read More

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Learning to Trust Again

Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a... Read More

Romancing The Senses

Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is... Read More

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen After Wife Gets MBA

"Hesh, where is your business plan?" It was a question... Read More

Parasitic Relationship

Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More

Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you... Read More

Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms

One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The... Read More

Warning Signs He / She May Not Be The One

We've all looked back on past relationships and said, "What... Read More

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn... Read More

Relationship Advice: 9 More Must-Know Tips for Couples

The Law of Two QuestionsThere are two questions that couples... Read More

Can We Still Be Friends?

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

Are You Really Ready For a Relationship?

So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I'm married... Read More

The Use and Abuse of Deception

The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away +... Read More

Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You... Read More