Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've all done it at some time but it's one of those things that we do without really giving any though to why or how.

Quite simply, flirting's our way of letting the opposite sex know that we're available. What it says we're available for depends entirely on how we flirt but for the sake of this article, I'll concentrate on the flirting that's done when you're with somebody you might like to develop a committed relationship with.

If you're a bit on the shy side, perhaps lacking in self confidence after being away from the singles scene for a long time, flirting can be quite a daunting task. It isn't difficult. It's like everything else; practice makes perfect so if you want to be a successful flirt on the serious dating scene, you need to start sticking your toes back in the water before you dive in after the big fish. Find a few fellas who you think are nice but are unlikely to bump into at the local post-office or your regular watering hole and practice your flirting skills on them. If you get it wrong the most you'll lose is the time you spent flirting but you'll have learned a lot. When you start to feel confident, that's the time to home in on the guy of your dreams and show him what you're made of.

* Smile

Picture the scene. You're sitting at a pavement cafe on a warm, sunny day. A reasonably nice looking guy walks past, glances in your direction but looks as miserable as sin. Five minutes later another reasonably nice looking guy walks past. This one looks across as you and smiles. Which of them would you most likely want to get to know better? My bet's that you'd go with the second guy, simply because he smiled.

A smile immediately gives your appearance more warmth so you'll seem more open and inviting to others.

When he talks, smile in appropriate places. Don't sit there grinning like a Cheshire cat; at best you'll appear false, at worse he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication.

A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious.

* Eye Contact

Everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't fancy him, do you? If you're shy or insecure about flirting you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really MUST look at him when he's speaking. Looking at everything else will just say "that crack in the pavement's more interesting to look at than you" and that's hardly what you want, is it?

If, on the other hand, you're super confident, don't go making the reverse mistake and spend the evening staring at him. Men may love to boast to their mates that "she couldn't take her eyes off me" but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed.

* Touch Him

A difficult one, this! Especially if you're shy.

Think back to primary school and that boy who fancied you (or fancied your mate, or whoever). Remember how he used to push you in the corridor or pull your hair in the playground? It's hardly strange we find it difficult to understand the opposite sex when that's how they behave when they fancy us but it was all about having the opportunity to touch us.

Now that we're older we have to find other ways of touching one another without appearing to be too intimate. Dancing's a good solution, as is touching his arm or knee when laughing together. Losing your balance slightly whilst walking together so that you have to reach out and balance yourself against him's another good ploy, as is asking him to help you on with your coat.

* Feel Sexy

Dress to feel sexy but remember that sexy isn't about showing it all. In fact, it isn't necessarily about showing anything! The way the fabric feels against your skin, heels and wearing your frillies underneath your dress can all make a woman feel sexy without looking cheap. The really good news though, is when a woman feels sexy she'll automatically appear sexy to the opposite sex.

* Show Interest

Sounds pretty obvious doesn't it, but sometimes it's easy to think we're showing interest even though the signals are actually saying something else. Showing interest is a mix of all what's gone before; not looking at the floor instead of at him, touching him when you have the chance, looking him in the eye and smiling, but above all, it's about listening to what he's saying and asking questions. If you were interesting in buying a house, I'm should you'd listen keenly to what the owner or estate agent had to say and ask plenty of questions, wouldn't you? Do the same when you're interested in a man! After all, how important's a house compared with a loving, supportive life partner?

* Appreciate Your Date

Whether you've had lunch, taken a walk around the park or spent an evening together, thank him for it and tell him how much you've enjoyed it. Don't go OTT; just say you've had a lovely time and that he's been good company.

Whatever you do, don't leave the date without letting him know that you're available for another. By saying nothing you're likely to leave him believing that you don't want to see him again. At the very least, you'd leave him feeling confused and if his self-confidence isn't right up there next to the likes of Mick Jagger and Peter Stringfellow, he's hardly likely to call again. Saying something like "give me a call if you fancy doing it again" will open the way for him to make further contact. Playing hard to get rarely works.

Now it's up to you to get out there and start practising your flirting skills. It may seem like a daunting task right now but believe me, it won't be long before flirting becomes second nature and you'll be wondering what the fuss was all about.

Have fun.

About The Author

Sharon Jacobsen is founder/administrator of FriendsYourWay.co.uk (www.friendsyourway.co.uk), a web service designed to help women meet other women for platonic friendships in their local area of the UK.

Having grown up in East London, Sharon moved to Norway at the age of 19, where she remained until 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and two of her three children. Contact Sharon on: s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk

---

Let Kissing Liven Up Your Meetings (and More Kissing Tips)

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at... Read More

Fight, Flight, or Loving Action

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More

What Type of a Kisser Are You?

As we all know, there are many types of kiss.... Read More

Washroom Break

Picture yourself at a bar with some of your buddies.... Read More

The Lies That Saved a Judges Life

What is empathy? Many people confuse empathy with sympathy, but... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners... Read More

Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More

Happily Ever After/Real Love

I was 43 years old and still looking for love.... Read More

Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship

"If you are trying to find ways to lead a... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

Cheating Wives and Cheating Husbands Give Different Reasons for Having Extramarital Affairs

Infidelity studies indicate that the percentage of cheating wives is... Read More

Romance Matters

You are never too old and it is never too... Read More

Universal Laws for Couples

The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More

Women and Men: Never The Twain Shall Meet

"Dear Happy Guy,"I just don't understand men. Last night I... Read More

Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends

Introduction"It just hit me out of the blue when Mike... Read More

But Its Just the Guys -- The Importance of Sacrifice in Relationships

If it's a long-term relationship you want, you absolutely must... Read More

7 Unfailing Laws of Happy Relationships

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When... Read More

Love Problems

Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed... Read More

Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning

I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard... Read More

Successful on the Outside, Lonely on the Inside: Our Hidden Epidemic

I say "Loneliness. Isolation. Invisibility."You ask "Eleanor Rigby?" I say... Read More

Love and Life Lessons

Recent events in my life have taught me that the... Read More

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't... Read More

When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do

Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More

Dont Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More

Five Tips for Breaking Free of The Drama Habit and Developing a Healthier Arguing Style

We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling... Read More

Victorias Secret Disclosed!

SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More

When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult... Read More

Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death

Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

Two Easy Steps To Finding Joy In All Your Relationships

Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More

Conflict In Faith

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19,... Read More

You Have to Read Heartbreak Rescue Just For You

"The truth that makes men free is for the most... Read More