Extreme Breakup Recovery
Maximum Healing ? Minimum Time
If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain, and use this breakup to your benefit.
You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. Life is change; people come and go in your life, and that is okay. As you grow, new people will come and some may leave. It is all for your own good. The tendency to cling to the old and avoid change is a common human trait. Unfortunately, it is also a self-defeating and self-destructive habit, and completely unnecessary.
I have seen too much suffering and pain from breakups. Friends, family members, clients and acquaintances have gone through long periods of pain before getting over their exes. It took them a long time before healing their hearts and opening for love again. From the outside, it was obvious that their exes were not the right people for them in the first place, or that their relationship had become stagnant and even sour. Finally the breakup occurred, followed by a long period of pain, suffering and ultimately a slow healing. (A long, painful recovery can create long lasting negative consequences in life, such as loss of a job, poor school performance, depression, weight problems, and many more).
Years later, after the breakup, I found them happier than ever, with a loved one. That new person seemed to be almost a perfect match. Looking back into their lives, they realized that unless they went through that breakup, finding their true love would not have happened. So, why couldn't they accept that this breakup was for their own good in the first place? Why couldn't they get over it faster, rather than taking months or years to do so? Why did they have to go through years or months of suffering? Why did they waste so much precious time of their lives?
After a breakup, everybody has two choices. One, leave the healing to time. Two, take charge of the recovery process. The first method will take a long time, pain and suffering before healing. It is slow and torturous. The second method, taking control, will allow anyone to accelerate the healing process, learn fast and move on, leaving space to find healthier and more fulfilling love than ever before. You may need some guidance on the steps for a fast and productive emotional healing. We have never been taught how to heal emotionally, so when we go through an emotional situation we are on our own. We need a method, a successfully proven method for emotional healing.
The Extreme F.A.S.T. method is an effective, simple and practical alternative to heal faster than you thought possible. Three facts make this method a very exciting proposition: First, it works; second, anyone can follow it and get results; third, it creates permanent change in the negative pattern of relationships. I must warn you: the Extreme F.A.S.T. method is not for people who want to suffer, cling on to the past, or keep repeating the same patterns in their relationships. This method is the ultimate healing tool: a quick, productive, effective and confronting method to heal as fast as you can. The steps are: Face It, Accept It, See The Lessons and Take Yourself To A New Level.
The first step is to Face It. The alternative to facing it, is denying it. Even though denial is a "natural" stage in any healing process it is unnecessary and it only creates prolonged suffering. You can accelerate your healing process by facing it. Even though it will be painful, it will feel so good afterwards. Some of the realities you need to face are: you have been hurt, you are emotional, you feel lonely and empty, and the most important one, it is over. This first step is intense and filled with emotional release. To make it easier, express your feelings and emotions privately, avoid self-destructive behaviors (such as drinking and casual sex) and be your own best friend.
The second step in the Extreme F.A.S.T. healing process is to Accept It. Acceptance means to surrender to what is real, versus what we wish were real. Acceptance also means that we can look into ourselves for honest answers. We can see how we contributed to the situation and how we were partly responsible for it. Among the things you need to accept are, that you have idealized your ex, you are there were "warning signs" and suffering helps you avoid your life.
The third step is to see the lessons. Life is always guiding us to what is best for us. Through joyful and painful experiences, we learn lessons that help us grow. Sometimes the only way we pay attention to our deep needs, is when we experience pain and suffering. These are the lessons you need to see about: self-esteem, your definition of love, and your choice of a partner. As you learn from these areas you are growing and preparing to get the love you truly deserve. An important question to ask yourself as you see your lessons: Is there anything that you fear about long term relationships?
The fourth and last step of the Extreme F.A.S.T. method is to Take Yourself To A New Level. This means to get to a new level in your life where you can start living your life in a more fulfilling way. Many of the apparently negative experiences we have in our lives guide us to explore new alternatives for ourselves. We may learn new ways of taking care of ourselves, new ways of feeling good about ourselves and new ways of relating to others. By taking small risks that feel comfortable for us, we grow and develop a new sense of self. Your new level of growth will include new levels of: Self-esteem and confidence, positive relationships, passion and Fun, and Love in your life.
By going through these steps, the Extreme F.A.S.T method can really help you accelerate your healing and get ready for a new love. But the first love you need to develop is with yourself. As you realize that the outside world is a reflection of your internal world, you may want to pay more attention to your feelings, emotions and needs. The pain that some experiences bring into your life is generally a call for you to pay more attention to yourself. So why not start now.
When you choose a method to use and follow in your breakup or divorce recovery, you are already on the path to healing. You have a choice; use your free will to choose what is best for YOU.
It requires a lot of courage and strength to want to heal fast. It would be easier to follow the mass belief that after a breakup we will go through a lot of pain and suffering for years, or at least months. However, you can make a different choice. You can believe in your own capacity to heal fast, in your own ability to get on with your life as soon as possible. You don't need to waste precious time suffering and dwelling on the past. You can get the love you truly deserve. Your true partner is already on the way; the more you suffer and prolong your healing, the more you will delay his or her arrival.
Make your choice: Time or Extreme Breakup Recovery?
© 2005 Jeanette Castelli. Adapted from "Extreme Breakup Recovery" by Jeanette Castelli, M.S. A do it yourself Workshop-In-A-Book®. Features a step-by-step guidance through the Extreme F.A.S.T. method: proven for quick, permanent and productive recovery from any breakup or divorce. Includes exercises, worksheets and affirmations. Book available at bookstores and online retailers worldwide. ISBN: 0-9742061-3-X. For more information, visit website: http://www.Breakup.Urbantex.com/ Email: postmaster@urbantex.com
Jeanette Castelli is an author, speaker and coach. Her education includes an MBA and a Master of Psychology. She is an expert in recovery and healing processes, including divorce, past events and wall street losses. Contact her JCastelli@urbantex.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
How do you let go of someone whom you have... Read More
The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More
Today I received a question from a guy. Here is... Read More
When you've had your heart broken in a relationship, it... Read More
How does one talk his/her spouse into living the Swinging... Read More
It starts young, as babies. We learn communication from our... Read More
Q: My wife and I have a good marriage that... Read More
People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They... Read More
>1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The... Read More
Throughout centuries, story tellers, and people from different background and... Read More
You've been in a relationship for quite some time and... Read More
I want to tell you a little story. Not about... Read More
How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into... Read More
Dear Candace,I am in the process of getting divorced and... Read More
Relationships are really what makes the world go 'round, aren't... Read More
You have reached the age where you can start thinking... Read More
Are you tired of looking for love without success? If... Read More
In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine... Read More
Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More
So many things in society today try to urge us... Read More
What is Love? This question has bothered me for a... Read More
RELATIONAL SUCCESS...Loving in the good times -- and the not-so-good... Read More
Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis... Read More
Online infidelity is more prevalent than you think. This includes... Read More
In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I... Read More
In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More
From my own personal experiences with relationships I believe in... Read More
Are single black women too independent? Too sure of themselves,... Read More
So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk... Read More
That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More
As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More
AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More
Have you noticed that there's an ebb and flow to... Read More
Relationship Tip 1I've been blessed with working with thousands of... Read More
Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed... Read More
Imagine this; you have the opportunity to go away for... Read More
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More
Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More
What's all the Hype about Love Relationships, Anyway?Love relationships are... Read More
How do you let go of someone whom you have... Read More
Love is something we all need, and want. For love,... Read More
We can fall into the habit of complaining about our... Read More
A few years back I was on a radio talk... Read More
This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert.... Read More
Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More
Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist... Read More
What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to... Read More
The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More
I came from good people. I didn't always know that.You... Read More
1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More
Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social... Read More
So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I'm married... Read More
This is a question that comes up a lot. It's... Read More
Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More
IntroductionYou might feel it when that hot stud across the... Read More
CHESS-MATEIf you're one of those guys telling to yourself that... Read More
Q. I got married for the first time when I... Read More
I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The... Read More
Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship... Read More
Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic... Read More
Many have problems with communication and using that "love" word.... Read More
We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keen ability... Read More
It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not... Read More
As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part... Read More
Jealousy, unfortunately it seems to pop up sometime in even... Read More
Relationship |