Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don't act them out.

Using what you find to extract revenge will only lengthen the time of pain and anger. It will undermine your integrity as a person, lower your personal standards and make you exceedingly unattractive.

Resist the temptation to sling the mud!

Keep what you find to yourself.

The obvious signs of a cheating spouse disturbed you. You spy because the truth will set YOU free. The quickest cleanest way to break free from the extramarital affair is to set your focus on you as you navigate your way through the difficult weeks and months.

The sooner the two of you can face each other, without outside input or influence, the better off you and the relationship will be.

There usually is no reason to share new found information about cheating husbands or cheating wives with family, friends, children or the spouse of the other person. A concern about sexually transmitted diseases or health risks might be an exception. If it is important to share such information, do so without much fanfare or drama.

And of course, if you pursue legal action, any information obtained through spying might be helpful to your attorney. Some "evidence" does carry weight in particular states or districts.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-af fair.com

---

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around

There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but... Read More

Men Love Women Who Initiate Sex ? 4 Fun Ways to Do It

This is a sizzling hot topic for a lot of... Read More

Telling the Hard Truth

Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most... Read More

How to Handle a Cheating Partner

Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within... Read More

When Groucho Marx Got It Right

Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic... Read More

Are You Living An Illusion Romance Like Lisa Snowdon and George Clooney?

My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More

Stop, Look, & Listen: The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner

IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep... Read More

Dinner Scooped Off the Floor - Why Men Wont Commit

"We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is... Read More

The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50

I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The... Read More

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More

Fear of a Broken Heart

Dear Candace,I am in the process of getting divorced and... Read More

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

Secrets Your Husband/Significant Other Dont Want You to Know

1. He Only Pretends Not to Listen.He heard what you... Read More

Two Kinds of Love

Love is something we all need, and want. For love,... Read More

Can a Male and Female be JUST Friends?

Introduction Have you ever heard or have you ever seen,... Read More

What Men Want From Women

Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 2 The Not-the-Same Syndrome

How often do we complain that our man isn't romantic... Read More

Romance Matters

You are never too old and it is never too... Read More

How to Kiss and Make Up

Was it a hectic day for you, or did you... Read More

How to Find Relationship Advice

One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice... Read More

Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women

One of the biggest complaints women have about men is... Read More

How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships

"You know, I really do love fish!" My friend... Read More

Better Than Help

One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family... Read More

Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself

Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a... Read More

Put-Downs: The Whole Story

What put-downs really areLet me begin by saying what they... Read More

Very Old Secret To Melt The Heart Of Your Beloved

My Dear Lover,Communication is one of the key ingredients for... Read More

How To (Wo)man Your Boundaries

The first time I ever heard "boundaries" mentioned, it was... Read More

king Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Do you want to put to rest the people and... Read More

Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...That is how our favorite... Read More

Cheating Husband/Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy

When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make... Read More

Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts

Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring... Read More

8 Keys to Lasting Love

My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD,... Read More