Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.

Outrage can be intense: "How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don't spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?" On and on. Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn't make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It's intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-af fair.com

---

Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet

One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The... Read More

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!When Lena, 52, began dating, her son,... Read More

Like Father

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

How to Have an Affair - Beware!

People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through

Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say... Read More

True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships

True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in... Read More

To Love Or To Be In Love

What is the basic difference between loving someone and being... Read More

Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead

While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

How to Handle a Cheating Partner

Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within... Read More

Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

Is Your Soulmate an Idiot?

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More

To Cheat or Not To Cheat

You know I am getting fed up with people who... Read More

Why We Chose The Person We Love

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More

Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication

Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples... Read More

How To Write a Romantic Love Letter

Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More

Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

Stop, Look, & Listen: The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner

IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep... Read More

Romantic Tips - Keeping Romance Alive

You've been in a relationship for quite some time and... Read More

Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground

It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 1

When you were little, you looked up to your parents.... Read More

False Forecasts Lead to Matchmaking Hell

False ForecastsThe typical methods for finding a partner are based... Read More

A Friend in Need

Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to... Read More

5 Ways to Tell Your Man You Love Him

Telling your man that you love him is part of... Read More

Learning to Trust Again

Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a... Read More

Top Ten List of What to Do and What Not to Do in Relationships

Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone... Read More

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More