Imagine you are the most amazing figure skater who ever lived. When rehearsing in a peaceful, empty rink, you demonstrate the ultimate in athleticism and artistry. You defy the laws of gravity as you leap in the air, landing with flawless precision. You spin with effortless grace and power; you execute jumps other skaters only dream about. On that ice, you are in your element, doing what you love to do and doing it perfectly.
In rehearsal, that is.
The next day, you enter the same rink for the big competition. When you look into the stands, you see thousands of eyeballs on you. As you begin your program, you skate self-consciously, hesitantly. You stumble on moves you usually don't even have to think about. You forget what comes next. You wobble and bobble and barely get through the program on your feet.
Now, consider this: Your frustrated coach barrels up to you and bellows, "That's it! From now on, we're spending two extra hours a day in rehearsal until you get this right in competition!" Question: Will that tactic solve the problem? Of course not, because the problem is not in the realm of the skating. (Remember, you skated the program perfectly 24 hours ago.) The problem is in the realm of the EYEBALLS. You can skate until your feet fall off, but until you make peace with those eyeballs, you will continue to stumble in the spotlight.
So It Is With Public Speaking
Most people say, "One-on-one I'm fine. It's only when I'm in front of a group that I get nervous." If you can speak confidently and clearly one-on-one, it means you already know the content and can convey it well (like skating perfectly in rehearsal). The problem comes when a speech coach says, "OK, we're going to have you rehearse the speech five more times in the conference room to make sure you get it right when you present in front of the Board." Emphasizing the content and delivery has limited value because it attacks the problem from the realm of the SPEAKING. But where most people suffer most is in the realm of the EYEBALLS.
Sure, you're more likely to withstand the eyeballs if you feel confident in your material, but the discomfort will still be there. Techniques and gimmicks (like "picture the audience naked" or "start with a joke" or "look at the back wall if you're too nervous to make eye contact") won't help either. These tricks just put up a barrier; they don't solve the problem.
So what is the answer? Realize that the problem is not that you don't know how to speak; it's that you're not used to being THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. You see those eyeballs and suddenly you're thrust outside of your comfortable anonymity into the shocking realization that someone is actually paying attention. You shy away from the attention, the intense energy. But ironically, the energy in those eyeballs can energize and comfort you-once you let it in.
Yes, eyeballs almost always have positive energy behind them because listeners want you to succeed. Even if you face grouches in the crowd, you can count at least a few positive eyeball vibes coming toward you. Soak in the positive energy and send it back out in the form of genuine warmth and concern for your listeners. Seeing that concern invites even more positive energy, which keeps the cycle going.
Far-Fetched Idea?
It may seem far-fetched at first. But the only way to make peace with those eyeballs is to stop avoiding them and explore them instead. Seek them out. Peer back with your own eyeballs and see what's really there. It takes practice, of course. To get started, seek out a positive setting such as a SPEAKING CIRCLE* or supportive group of friends. Remember, you're already a speaker. You're just not accustomed to being a recipient of listening-a skill that can only be mastered in the mysterious, wondrous, scary, exciting realm of eyeballs.
* The SPEAKING CIRCLE(R) methodology is a revolutionary new approach for building speaking skill and power. It's based on the book Be Heard Now by Lee Glickstein. For more information, go to www.speakingcircles.com.
About The Author
Melissa Lewis turns traditional thinking about public speaking upside down to give people more comfort, confidence, and charisma in front of groups. For more information, call (913) 341-1241 or visit www.upsidedownspeaking.com, melissa@upsidedownspeaking.com
"The human brain starts working the moment you are born... Read More
Preperation is vital when conducting a successful videoconference session. Thus... Read More
Whether you need to address large groups or small, familiar... Read More
Audiences around the world are all different. Cultural, social and... Read More
Calling a projector hire company will often get you confused... Read More
Your job as an event planner doesn't stop with the... Read More
One of the biggest mistakes most presenters make is in... Read More
So you're not a professional speaker. That's no excuse for... Read More
What would we do without our cell phones? Wow, there's... Read More
As I travel around the world I always enjoy sampling... Read More
Once upon a time????."Yeah right, don't tell us a story,... Read More
The social skills of a small businessperson, franchisee, independent contractor... Read More
The quality of your sales presentation will often determine whether... Read More
MORE and more corporations in Malaysia have awoken to the... Read More
Some speakers say, "I could never use humor in my... Read More
"I didn't have 3000 pairs of shoes. I had only... Read More
If the mere thought of standing up in front of... Read More
Remember back when the ability to create a slide show... Read More
How do you come across in your emails?As I receive... Read More
Interview with Julia Apple-Smith, Manager of Employee Development at Sauer-Danfoss... Read More
First of all, what is a bio sheet and why... Read More
Appealing to emotions is the most powerful way to transfer... Read More
Flash chart, flash map, flash graph may be mistaken for... Read More
We all fear that moment. You look out on a... Read More
If you are taking your newest products to a trade... Read More
If you're ready to kick your career or business up... Read More
Webster's Dictionary defines communication as "a giving or exchanging of... Read More
Presenters often tell me that they fear losing their train... Read More
There are many definitions for presentations. When you present there... Read More
For communication to take place, a message must be transmitted... Read More
What is it about overhead projectors that causes us to... Read More
Most people love to hide behind the lectern.. It makes... Read More
Here, David Letterman style, are what I consider to be... Read More
The query letter is simply a business letter that serves... Read More
Never rehearse at the last minute. This creates undue tension... Read More
So you're not a professional speaker. That's no excuse for... Read More
"I'm not an expert on this topic, but . .... Read More
People take it for granted that leaders have achieved some... Read More
You've spent a lot of time preparing your PowerPoint presentations... Read More
MAKING INFORMATIVE LESSON PLANS: --The performance objectives should answer this... Read More
(Excerpted From the Jim Rohn Millennium Weekend Event)Persistence in your... Read More
Media training is a 'must do' professional development program for... Read More
Have you ever had to give a speech?Do you remember... Read More
Believe it or not, preparation is a better determinant of... Read More
Communication is vital for survival in an age of information... Read More
You're in a conference room. You're giving a PowerPoint presentation... Read More
What would we do without our cell phones? Wow, there's... Read More
ALTERNATIVES TO THE LECTURE FORMAT: How often do you use... Read More
WHEN ONLY A LECTURE WILL DO: Under certain circumstances, of... Read More
How many times have you attended a meeting where the... Read More
First of all, what is a bio sheet and why... Read More
Whenever and whatever you're pitching, dozens of factors will figure... Read More
Eye contact is mandatory when giving a public presentation.The goal... Read More
Yes, there are ancient PowerPoint secrets...secrets your grandmother knows and... Read More
Myth 1: Executives belong in meetings.Although the demands of business... Read More
We all fear that moment. You look out on a... Read More
Whether you are speaking in front of a civic group... Read More
First and foremost, you must deal effectively with your own... Read More
Regardless of what response technique may be convenient in a... Read More
Audiences around the world are all different. Cultural, social and... Read More
Whether you use a mouse or a remote control to... Read More
Once upon a time????."Yeah right, don't tell us a story,... Read More
How many people will need to see the screen? A... Read More
No matter what your business is, you will enhance your... Read More
The quality of your sales presentation will often determine whether... Read More
How do you come across in your emails?As I receive... Read More
Presentation |