Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true.

Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people.

Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors run the gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Here's a small assortment:

- constant tardiness
- clumsiness, accident proneness
- failure to keep promises or honor commitments
- staying stuck in an unfulfilling job
- perfectionism
- feeling like a fraud, afraid that you'll be exposed
- feeling empty, hollow despite outward success
- workaholism
- consistently poor choice of partners
- being a jack of all trades, master of none
- not knowing what you want to be "when you grow up"
- life-threatening addictions
- self-mutilation

Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we don't deserve it.

To overcome the effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are.

We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter

We must sniff out the internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered.

We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Until the core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best.

We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our early childhood experiences.

I can hear it already. "Oh, no, don't give me that 'Poor Little Kid' routine!"

Okay, I won't. Instead, I'll give you the "Who IS This Little Kid?" routine.

When we go delving into our past to determine the underlying dynamics of our psyches, the goal is:

- Not to cast blame
- Not to pass judgment
- Not to fob off our responsibility onto someone else

We're not looking for what is good or what is bad, but simply what IS.

It is vital that we grant ourselves permission to look closely at what happened to us as very young children. We are searching for clues to the Truth of our early history.

Our goal is simply to appreciate our own personal saga and become fonder of ourselves in the process. As we do so, we will automatically feel more entitled to be happy and fulfilled in both our work and love lives.

That is our ultimate goal, and a worthier goal could not be had.

Where Else Do You Think You Can Look?

If your first reaction is to dismiss this idea as something you've heard about before, be aware that "knowing about" something is a far cry from understanding it or applying it.

And if you're one of the many who think you "don't need to go there," just know that you won't find your personal truth anywhere else.

Whether self-sabotage is ruining our lives or just quietly making us miserable, a start on the road to overcoming these self-defeating behaviors can be undertaken on our own.

If we should get stuck along the road, professional help through private therapists, clinics, and school or job counselors is generally available.

Once the underlying dynamics of our self-defeating behaviors are exposed and dealt with, it will be much easier to stop self-defeating behaviors in their tracks, before they have a chance to undermine us.

Once we reintegrate all of our personal power back into our lives, a whole new vista of possibilities opens up before us. This is a deeply exhilarating experience that none of us should miss.

Rosella Aranda, Editor, Author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/

Free mini-course!
http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/
Know How to Be Rich

---

Managing Your OCD, Panic Attacks, and Obsessive Thoughts

There are times that we encounter fearful thoughts that can... Read More

Wahms, Dont Compare Yourself With Others!

Wahms, do you constantly compare yourself with others and come... Read More

Having the Attitude I am the Greatest!

While trying to ignore my teen daughters rap music a... Read More

Positive Thinking on Negativity

The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More

Positive Mind, Successful Life

It took me a long time to realise the benefits... Read More

Make a Personal Commitment to Change Your Life!

So, is this really where you thought you'd be? You're... Read More

What?!? No Bananas?

"Where are your bananas?" It seemed like a logical question... Read More

Living Mindfully

Normally I race around multitasking. I am always thinking about... Read More

Does Lack of Confidence Stop You?

Ever had the sense that there is more to life... Read More

How to Change Any Belief

I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More

Thanks For The Rejection!

It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More

Success or Failure: How to Cope With Failure

There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More

Feel Those Feelings and Develop Emotional Intelligence

There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More

Affirmations to Improve Your Life

An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More

Questions and Affirmations - The Art (and Science) Of Talking To Yourself

I Hear Voices?This is not a statement of paranormal; it... Read More

Life Energy

There is a growing appreciation of the impact of psychic... Read More

Beware: Your Mind is a Battle Field!

WhenWhen we have feelings for someone or something, we have... Read More

Stepping Into Possibility Thinking

Our thoughts really belong to the collective consciousness of the... Read More

Fearing the Future: I am what I Fear!

When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick... Read More

Self Confidence and the Way You Use Your Words

The way we use language can have a huge impact... Read More

Using Negative Experience to Discover Your Strength

"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before... Read More

Eight Simple Anger Management Tips

"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant.... Read More

Strength Within

For the twelve hundred hostages, most especially Timur Kasumova.It's a... Read More

Where You Want To Be

Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with... Read More

Be Selfish and Save The World

Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More

The Use of Affirmations

What is an affirmation? One possible definition is a specific... Read More

Creating Success Through Self-Affirming Thought Patterns

Everyone of us has the potential to successfully more through... Read More

Use Your Imagination to Create the Self You Want

"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is... Read More

Negative vs Positive: The Ever-existing Battle In Your Mind

WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More

Stop Complaining

You don't need to a piece of paper to prove... Read More

The Power Of AND

Not Amen, just so we're clear on that.AND.The little connector... Read More

New Attitudes-New Possibilities

I AM SO GRATEFUL for meeting challenges head-on. We see... Read More

Why You Must Learn to Forgive for the Sake of Your Own Happiness

Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More