How Much Better Can You Have It?

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." -Maya Angelou

How Much Better Can You Have It?

I have a long time friend that truly believes that bad things happen only to her. Instead of taking responsibility for the choices she has made in her life, she believes that she is a victim of circumstances, other people's treatment or just bad luck. Each email I receive from her is a continuing saga of one bad thing after another occurring. I noticed over the last few months that the frequency and the severity of these events are increasing. I have also noticed that there is a direct correlation between the number of things she complains about and the number of "bad things" that happen to her.

In listening to my friend, I have become more mindful of things I complain about. Last week I was called for jury duty and was selected to be on a jury. It was the 5th time I have been called, and the 4th time I had to actually serve. Of the group of people that were assigned to the court room along with me, I was the only one that had actually served on a jury. While we were going through the jury selection process, I was 'complaining' to the others about having to serve so often and wishing that I would not be picked again. Only 6 jurors were selected out of 20, and I was the last one picked at the end of the day. On my way home that night, it struck me that my complaining had something to do with my selection! What one focuses on, is what one attracts and I had focused on what I did not want -being selected for jury duty.

Do you know someone that is a constant complainer? What does their life look like? What are they attracting with their complaints? Do they seem to always have something go wrong? Complainers believe that someone else is at the steering wheel of their lives, and they are just along for the ride. Here's a statement I heard this week from T. Harv Eker, author of The Millionaire Mind: "Complaining is the worse possible thing you can do for your health and your wealth." The truth of this statement really struck me, and the question I asked myself was, what would my life be like if I stopped complaining? Even though I make a point of expressing what I am grateful for each day, I do slip in a complaint or two! As terrific as my life is, the question is how much better could I have it?

Take a look at your own life. How often you do complain about something or someone? What would happen if you stopped complaining? Is there any downside? How good could you have it? Take the challenge and find out!

Here are some actions you can take:

-Pay attention to the number of times you complain about something each day.

-Pick 2 days and commit to no complaints for that time period. See how you feel and what happens at the end of the 2 days.

-Incorporate this new practice into your life on an on-going basis!

Copyright June 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Positive Thinking: Polyanna Syndrome

Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More

The View From Nana and Papas

I'm a working mother with a preschooler, worrying about Mom... Read More

Look for the Positives

Our lives are overflowing with negative information from the newspapers,... Read More

How to Plan a Vacations of the Mind

Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More

How to Change Any Belief

I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More

Fearing the Future: I am what I Fear!

When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick... Read More

The Enchanted Self - Thats Each of Us!

In my years as a psychologist, I have come to... Read More

Individualized Positive Affirmations for Improving Self-Esteem

Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our... Read More

Start Living Your Dreams Today With a Positive Attitude

"Those people who think they can do something and those... Read More

Positive Thoughts and Words

You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More

How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself?

In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More

Life Writing, One Facet of Living an Enchanted Life

I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother... Read More

You Gotta Be Positive!

Remember Des'ree? She had a great song out in 1994,... Read More

5 Ways To Use Mind Power To Maximise Your Potential

Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that... Read More

Increasing Expectation Positively!

At your next staff meeting lead your team through the... Read More

When Laughter Does Not Come Easily

The surge of emotions.During the middle ages, the court jester... Read More

Heal and Release the Past

I had a completely different idea for my main article... Read More

Mind Games!

Have you ever been caught up in a thought that... Read More

Living with Chronic Illness & Disorders: Are You a Survivor?

Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More

Finding Meaning in Life: Three Steps

So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More

Combat Your Bad Days

No matter how positive a person we are overall, there... Read More

What Should You Be Committed To?

There are many dynamics that go into making a great... Read More

Are You Thinking The Right Thoughts?

"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he... Read More

Never Run Out of Altitude, Airspeed, and Ideas at the Same Time: Lessons From the Vietnam POWs

Bosses can't control many things at work. In fact, they... Read More

Life Energy

There is a growing appreciation of the impact of psychic... Read More

Optimism: The Tremendous Benefits of a Positive Attitude

How many times have you heard someone say, "Hey, cheer... Read More

The Difference Between the Curmudgeons and the Serene

Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are... Read More

The Enchanted Cottage

Decades ago, I saw a metaphysical movie that wonderfully illustrates... Read More

Scented, Spiritual Waters

Water is an important tool for magic rituals in many... Read More

Watch Your Mouth

Ever had one of those mothers, or grandmothers, who would... Read More

Do You Love Yourself?

So, do you love yourself?Shouldn't really be a difficult question... Read More

The Power of Negative Thinking

For some reason, most people find it easier to think... Read More

Focus Your Attention

Lately, there has been a collective challenge to avoid being... Read More