Using Negative Experience to Discover Your Strength

"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, raped before you; yet, someone survived" - Maya Angelou

"Do not grieve. Misfortunes do not flourish particularly in our path. They grow everywhere." These words spoken by Omalia Indian Chief Big Elk in 1815 are worth repeating today. When adversity appears in our lives, we often feel victimized, alone and helpless. A very deep look at the lives of successful people shows that misfortunes do not just strike selected individuals. It is inevitable in all our lives. The big challenge is how we choose to handle the situations and what we can learn from it.

One thing I have learnt is that the experience of our misfortune or adversity allows us to be strong. Like in baking bread, the more the heat the more the bread gets bigger and better. It enables some other people the opportunity to develop new strengths and etch their personal statements on life with deep conviction.

Reverend Jesse Jackson overcame a heritage of poverty to become Democrats' Presidential candidate. He once said: "My mother was a teenager-mother and her mother was a teenager-mother. With scholarships and help, I manage to get education. Success to me is being born in a poor or disadvantage family and making something of yourself."

Those who are familiar with the success story of the late Nigerian billionaire, Bashorun MKO Abiola, know that he came from a poor background and went on to become a billionaire before he died.

Award winning American television and movie Producer cum Writer, Norman Lear, revealed that he grew up observing the marriage of his parents, he said: "I looked at two people who lived at the top of their lungs, on the ragged end of their nerves. In self-defence, I had to find the humour." Out of that situation he chose to make a positive statement about a negative view of life in the form of comedy. As a result he wrote 'Divorce American Style', 'Mande, All in the Family,' and other television shows. This probably helped to heal some of his internal childhood wounds. It is said that perhaps one of the reasons these shows have been so popular is that they touch familiar chords in the hearts of many Americans.

Mary Tyler Moore (Ladies Home Journal. September, 1987) believes the difficulties she has encountered in her life made her stronger. A diabetic and recovering alcoholic, she suffered the tragedy of having her son fatally shoot himself. She said philosophically: "Pain nourishes my courage. You can't be brave if you've had only wonderful things happen to you."

I once met somebody, who, at 38 was still lamenting that the reason why he has not made it in life is because he lost his father when he was 12 and since then his life has not been the same again, and to cap it, he said his mother wasn't rich. I told him that I lost my father when I was 8 and my mother was not rich either but I am making something out of my seemingly meaningless life.

I then went on to tell him that I acquire the ability to achieve from the necessity of having to work as a child, that the best thing that happened to me was growing up as they say, 'on the other side of the track', without having the benefit of a wealthy set of parents. Anything I wanted I had to go out and hustle and scrap for and I think that was a definite advantage for me. A good friend of mine once told me that adversity brings out the strength, not only of an individual, but of a nation as well.

The only way you can profit from the experience of others is by learning how they pushed themselves past tragedies or difficult times that could have provided a haven for self-pity. We can learn to work through a situation and find ways to succeed, given who we are and not who we might have been.

The average person starts off in life with negative emotions. As he grows through life, negative emotions begin to accumulate like souvenirs. It is impossible for us to realize our full potentials unless we leave our negative emotions behind. Life is a process; each stage is vital, not to be missed, forgotten or overlooked.

When we give up, give in or shut down we are liable to be run over by the process. If you are the master of yourself and you did not allow others and events of the past dictate the direction of your life, you are bound to win.

Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling "4 Indispensable Strategies for Success" and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: www.dayoolomu.com

---

11 Great Ways to be Positive about Change

Look for the positives!Seek them out - those little scary... Read More

The Top Ten Ways To Be Positive In The Workplace Of Life

There is a growing volume of research that shows' staying... Read More

Gratitude: the ICE that Fills Your Half Empty Glass!

Are you completely happy in your life right now? Honestly?... Read More

How to Use Fear to Your Advantage

The invisible force surrounded him, squeezing tightly around his chest.... Read More

Stream of Consciousness

One thing that is important to realize about thought: one... Read More

The TRUTH About What REALLY Causes Negative Thoughts

Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you... Read More

The Inner Dialogue

Do you talk with yourself? When we hear people talking... Read More

Feeling Grouchy? Heres What to Do

I woke up this morning feeling sour.No. That's an understatement.... Read More

When Laughter Does Not Come Easily

The surge of emotions.During the middle ages, the court jester... Read More

The Enchantress Within Each of Us Returns?Making Potholders, One Stitch at a Time!

When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine... Read More

Why Do Some Affirmations *Work* - and Others Dont?

By definition,an affirmation is a statement repeated time and again... Read More

Notable Thoughts on Positive Living

I went online -- and what do I see? A... Read More

It?s All About Beliefs

Changing your mindset can have a significant impact on achieving... Read More

How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People

Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least... Read More

Quick Steps To Improve Your Performance Though Positive Self-Talk

Want to improve your personal performance? Positive self-talk can help.Edward... Read More

Where You Want To Be

Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with... Read More

Let Your Subconscious Be Your Guide... Oh Really? Not!

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Do you ever... Read More

Change Your Focus and Change Your Results

In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More

Scary Stuff

Life can be downright scary - sometimes more than others.... Read More

Banishing Hannibal Lecter Personalities From Your Life

We all know them. We all have somebody like them... Read More

Your Mediocre Mind

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.... Read More

The 5 Words That Are Ruining Your Life

How would you like to stop feeling like your life... Read More

Positive Mental Attitude

Look at this glass on the table in front of... Read More

Heal and Release the Past

I had a completely different idea for my main article... Read More

Change Your Thoughts And Your Life: 5 Simple Ways To Bring More Peace And Harmony To Your Life

When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The... Read More

What Every Manager Should Know About How to Look Beyond His Attitude

Once we understand the difference our attitude makes in our... Read More

Using Power Affirmations on ePosters

I believe that one of the best ways to stay... Read More

Creating an Emotional Retreat

Emotions have the tendency to take over our actions and... Read More

Really Scary Stuff

With the probable exception of some basic instincts ? or... Read More

Reacting To Given Situations!

The milkman knocks at the door of the old lady's... Read More

Discover The 8 Steps To A Mountain Moving Faith

" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More

Lunacy at its Finest ... Crazymakers and Intimidators In Your Life!

Did you ever run into that person that just nags... Read More

Zenobias Life Lessons

I was a young girl aged 12, when the one... Read More