Time To Give Up Resentment

Resentment isn't a spectacular emotion, but it is long-lasting and it easily becomes a way of life. When this happens, it blocks all possibility of successful and healthy relationships.

When people feel resentment, they draw back into defensiveness to avoid the possibility of still more hurt. Good performance, good relationships and good become impossible. It's also an entirely negative emotion. Nothing productive ever comes from it, while it easily progreses into more violent states like anger, hatred and cruelty.

The Rule of Resentment

People hurt by others often inflict identical hurt of their own in a vicious circle. The abused child becomes a child abuser. The despised failure seeks weaker people to despise. The bullied employee becomes a bullying manager. Resentment seems to cause us to repeat the behaviors we resented. We become still more sensitive to further sources of resentment. We find still harsher ways to hit back.

Resentment is endemic in many organizations, revealing itself in petty cruelties, pointless obstructions and childish acts of sabotage. When you enquire into the causes of the resentment, you mostly find multiple acts of unkindness and cruelty. Managers, browbeaten by their superiors in the all-out demand for ever higher profits, take to crushing their own subordinates with similarly impossible demands. Afraid of losing their jobs, people plot to put others in the firing line.

The "Golden Rule" exhorts us to treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves. The Rule of Resentment seems to be a direct perversion of it, causing us to treat others as badly we were treated -- or even worse.

The Rule of Reciprocal Behavior

Yet this rule of reciprocal behavior -- of doing to others what was done to us -- also holds good for positives. People treated kindly are more likely to be kind to others. People who are helped and encouraged become helpers in their turn. If bigotry and scorn breed ever greater negativity, tolerance, openness and honesty produce their own harvest of growth and mutual support. In place of the vicious cycle of carping and frustration, it's possible to set up a cycle of ever more positive behaviors.

When people consider ethical working behavior and ask "What's in it for me?" the Rule of Reciprocal Behavior gives a major part of the answer. Unethical behavior is a potent source of resentment and so will nearly always provoke an unethical response.

If you want to be treated ethically by others, you must start by being ethical yourself.

Adrian W. Savage writes for people who want help with the daily dilemmas they face at work. He has contributed more than 25 articles to leading British and American publications and has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and The Chicago Tribune.

You can find his blog on ethics, diversity and living life to the full at http://www.adriansavage.com

---

How to Deal With No

No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More

Universal Thought System/Forgiveness#2

Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More

What Every Employee Should Know About Looking Beyond His Attitude

Our attitude makes seems to control just about everything about... Read More

Doubting Your Way To Success!... Ridiculous... Oh?

Ever had a problem with doubts? Ever felt that nagging... Read More

As A Man Thinketh...

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More

Instant Frequency Boosters: 10 Fast and Simple Ways to Raise Your Vibration

When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's... Read More

Self-esteem Boosters: 5 Action Points

? Make a list of all your accomplishments in life... Read More

Don?t Worry, Be Happy!

Philippians 4:6-do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,... Read More

Moving? Pack an Emotional First Aid Kit

From Making the Big Move: how to transform relocation into... Read More

White Sun: How to Cultivate Ones Body

Drinking damages the soul; being lustful damages the vitality; greed... Read More

Quick Fixes: Happiness In A Bottle

This is the age of the Quick Fix - the... Read More

Thinking Like A Winner

Since the beginning of human history we have been living... Read More

Time To Give Up Resentment

Resentment isn't a spectacular emotion, but it is long-lasting and... Read More

Mind Games!

Have you ever been caught up in a thought that... Read More

Having the Attitude I am the Greatest!

While trying to ignore my teen daughters rap music a... Read More

5 Proven Ways to Safely Make Positive Life Changes

One of the most important aspects of living a healthy... Read More

How to Change Any Belief

I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More

Beware: Your Mind is a Battle Field!

WhenWhen we have feelings for someone or something, we have... Read More

Does Life Really Stink?

One of my class fellows was really tensed, when asked... Read More

Mindfulness and Money: Monkeying Around

Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages,... Read More

How You Treat People Matters

I encountered several interesting people that really taught me something.... Read More

Power of Positive Beliefs

I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More

Take a Gratitude Break

An old Joni Mitchell song reminds us, "don't it always... Read More

It?s All About Beliefs

Changing your mindset can have a significant impact on achieving... Read More

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More

Discover The 8 Steps To A Mountain Moving Faith

" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More

Define Yourself With Confidence

As a trainer of coaches I often teach my students... Read More

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More

Why We Shouldnt Worry

Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More

Positive Mind, Successful Life

It took me a long time to realise the benefits... Read More

Just Another Day

During a Messenger chat session the other day, I asked... Read More

Positive Attitude is Not Enough

Contrary to the popular saying "attitude is everything" attittude is... Read More

Feel Those Feelings and Develop Emotional Intelligence

There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More