Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Most of what we've been taught about how to be happy, how to be successful, how to get what we want was well intended ? but wrong.

We've been told that we have to work hard to succeed and when we're a success we'll be happy. Maybe that's true ? if we're clear about what we need to be happy. Too many of us have been misled by well-meaning parents, teachers, spouses and employers to believe that success means big houses, fancy cars, luxury vacations and bulging bank accounts.

Few would disagree that those are our society's measure of success and nice to have, but too often they don't bring happiness. Instead, they often lead to addictions, illnesses, wounded children and divorce, which can lead to unhappiness, loneliness and financial woes.

The good news is that you can change your thinking and change your life. I know, because I did.

I was a workaholic for most of my adult life until breast cancer forced me to slow down and take a look at the messages that had driven me to be so driven. I remembered an experience I'd had years before, when I went to a hypnotherapist and, in trance, was more relaxed than I'd ever been in my life.

"What would you have to do to feel like this all the time," he asked. And I knew immediately. I'd have to let go of being so attached to the way things turned out. What was I attached to? Everything!

I was attached to people saying and doing certain things (even in the past, so I kept rehashing old dialogs so I'd get to say what I hadn't said then), I was attached to my saying and doing certain things. I was attached to motorists being courteous, check-out clerks being efficient, my clients buying lots of product, my boss being able to lead, my neighbors being quiet? well, you get the picture.

On the way home I asked myself, what if I let go of my attachments to outcomes? What if I turned what I wanted into a goal, instead?

I discovered it was easy to tell the difference. I could work hard to reach a goal and if I didn't make it I was okay. I'd learn from the experience and try again. When I was attached, not getting what I wanted, or even thinking I might not get it would trigger a wash of an unpleasant emotion ? anger, fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, frustration, victimization, etc. Whenever I recognized I was attached, I'd ask myself: just this once, can I let go of my attachment to this? Can I turn it into a goal, instead? Almost always, the answer was yes.

The advantage to having goals instead of attachments is that you can reasonably work toward having what you want without being so stressed and stressing that you lose your health or your family. You can let go of your attachments to living life the way society tells you you "should," and discover what truly makes you happy.

You don't have to have breast cancer (other cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc.) to learn what I learned. Practice letting go of your attachments to outcomes, change your thinking and you will change your life.

Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.IrelandCommunications.com

---

Are You Trying to Lose?

Just 2 nights ago my partner and I were watching... Read More

Prescience

"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More

What Should You Be Committed To?

There are many dynamics that go into making a great... Read More

Positive Thoughts and Words

You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More

Magic Mirror Exercise

Good morning I love you.This is a basic exercise, which... Read More

You, Your Self Estem, and Its Importance in Your Growth!

IntroductionDid your boss, took you for a ride? Did your... Read More

Is The Glass Half-full Or Half-empty?

Keep focusing on the fullness of your life: Keep remembering... Read More

Changing Stumbling Blocks To Stepping Stones?

"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More

How To Gain Confidence Quickly And Effortlessly When You Feel the World is Against You

Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More

I Know I Can, I Know I Can

I'm sure most of you remember the children's book about... Read More

Change Your Thoughts And Your Life: 5 Simple Ways To Bring More Peace And Harmony To Your Life

When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The... Read More

How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People

Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least... Read More

The Language of Confidence

The language we use programs our brains. Mastering our language... Read More

Do You Love Yourself?

So, do you love yourself?Shouldn't really be a difficult question... Read More

Beliefs

Do you realize that what we believe about ourselves, affects... Read More

How To Have A Life Changing Experience

Can you really plan a life-changing experience, or do they... Read More

Attitude = Altitude, Its Really Up To You!

Quote of the week:"Of all the attitudes we can acquire,... Read More

Winners vs Whiners

It started out as a windy, rainy day. A tropical... Read More

Dump Those Negative Tapes

Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More

Anchoring Positivity With NLP

There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing... Read More

How You Treat People Matters

I encountered several interesting people that really taught me something.... Read More

Establish What you Want with NLP

Recently, a lady came to see me and she had... Read More

Motivate To Activate A Positive Lifestyle

What do you do when things in your life don't... Read More

Does Lack of Confidence Stop You?

Ever had the sense that there is more to life... Read More

4 Ways You Can Get Over Your Need for Acceptance and Get on with Your Life

Imagine what your life would be like if you could... Read More

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More

Practice Gratitude to Improve Your Life Today

As I swooshed down the Zoom Flume water slide at... Read More

Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More

The Art of Thankfulness

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More

Be Selfish and Save The World

Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More

Impact of Positive and Negative Catalysts on Events in Human Lives

Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More

You Are A Winner!

You are already a winner, and so am I.Although you... Read More

Is Your Glass (Ceiling) Half Empty or Half Full?

The infamous "glass ceiling" is blamed for business issues for... Read More