Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part One

Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame. This quartet love to arrive, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever. They will certainly stay as long as you allow them to; they never seem to get tired of hanging around and causing troubles for the unsuspecting host.

The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that the world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for the FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of the fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at the self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens.

However, the FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for the FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then the side door opens and the FABS can sneak in.

FABS live in the dark. They tend to hide in the dark corners of our minds, avoiding the light of day at all costs. If the sun were to shine on the FABS then it is very likely that the host would take immediate steps to eliminate them. It is much easier to lurk in the subconscious and just spring out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Then the FABS kick in and keep the host from moving forward in their lives.

Some of the symptoms of FABS in your life are:

• Feeling as if everything that happens is your "fault"

• Constant apologizing

• Feelings of depression and unworthiness

• Getting stuck in bad relationships

• Always being a "giver"

• Surrounding yourself with "takers"

• Being afraid of change

• Never standing up for oneself

• Being overweight

• Back problems

  People infested with FABS are often overweight because they use food as a medication, unknowingly trying to eliminate the pain that FABS causes; or they use weight as protection against an uncertain and painful world. Excess weight can be a wonderful buffer, and can become as comforting as a favorite blanket. FABS sufferers often have back problems as well, because they consciously or unconsciously feel that they have no support in their lives. Lack of emotional support=back pain!

  Once FABS have moved into your life they are extremely hard to get rid of, but not impossible by any means! It takes work, dedication and a real desire to get them out of your life. You may need a good FABS exterminator, which can be a therapist or a personal coach. Getting rid of the FABS in your life is a very important step to take, no matter how difficult it may be. Once they are gone, you cannot imagine how good life will feel, how bright the sun shines and how far you can go on your path!

  About The Author

  Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal spiritual coach for Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com.

  Circle Of Grace is a unique blending of Native American spirituality and holistic wellness coaching. Sign up for a free coaching session!

  Sibyl can be contacted at sibyl@www.circle-of-grace.com

  In The News:

  ---

  
  

Power of Positive Beliefs

I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More

Surrounding Yourself With Positive Energy

Our lives are busy. We rush here only to remember... Read More

Business Career, Executive Coaching - The Top 10 Tips to Begin the Practice of Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations are things we say to ourselves that build... Read More

What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It

(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More

Self-Recovery from Addiction: Taking Responsibility for Your Life

I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while... Read More

Enlarge Your Vision

Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More

Mastering Your Moods: How To Take Charge Of Your Feelings

John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm... Read More

Looking For Answers In All The Wrong Places?

Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More

Dispell Anger in 2 Simple Steps

"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More

Does It Really Matter?

We are all involved in this game called life and... Read More

Im Loving Me... Right Where I Am

I heard these words from a client who had been... Read More

Oh for a Really Good Day!

What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy... Read More

Welcoming the Unexpected

As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More

How to Deal With No

No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More

Gratitude: the ICE that Fills Your Half Empty Glass!

Are you completely happy in your life right now? Honestly?... Read More

Universal Thought System/Forgiveness#2

Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More

Its Okay to Be Negative Sometimes!

Lately, I've been hearing that it's not okay to have... Read More

Knowing the Power of Positive Thinking

In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More

Spring Into Enchantment

Who can control a smile sneaking across your face as... Read More

Beginners Programming 101

Recently a great idea popped into my head about creating... Read More

Anger And Your Health

HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More

Watch Your Mouth

Ever had one of those mothers, or grandmothers, who would... Read More

Success, the Only Option

One often hears people say they can't sketch because they... Read More

We All Send Signals

Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More

Living with Chronic Illness & Disorders: Are You a Survivor?

Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More

Release Your Agression In Your DIARY OF EMOTIONS

In order for you to make positive ground daily you... Read More

The Use of Affirmations

What is an affirmation? One possible definition is a specific... Read More

Letter of Hope from Hospital Patient

Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More

The Enchanted Cottage

Decades ago, I saw a metaphysical movie that wonderfully illustrates... Read More

Affirmations for Success + Music = Pow!

Music penetrates our mental barriers and influences the deepest areas... Read More

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More

What Every Employee Should Know About How to Maximize His Potential for Success

There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are... Read More