Eight Simple Anger Management Tips

"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

• Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.

• Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.

• Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.

• Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.

• Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).

• We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.

People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.

Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://TheHappyGuy.com), author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-workbook.html)

Info@TheHappyGuy.com

---

Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More

Our Beliefs Define Our Limits

The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More

Fear Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

Several years, I was listening to a radio talk show... Read More

You Are Magnificent! Creating Self-Confidence

The image you hold of yourself determines your success or... Read More

From The WorkWise Collection: Transform Your Fears into Positive Power

Fear is a double-edged sword. It can hold you back... Read More

Change Your Focus and Change Your Results

In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More

Making Conflict Productive

Conflict is unavoidable. How we respond to it makes a... Read More

All My Needs, Desires, and Goals are Met -- INSTANTANEOUSLY

I get emails and questions from people all the time... Read More

Down On Your Luck? Heres How You Get Over The Hump!

It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right... Read More

Building Unshakeable Self Confidence!

One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More

Where You Want To Be

Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with... Read More

Life Can Seem Unfair Until We Change Our Perspective! See How!

Empty, Hollow, Nothing?.those words shout the sound of disappointment and... Read More

Attitude Is Everything! Make it Great!

Change your attitude, change your lifeIn my experiences, I've found... Read More

Becoming Excellent: Outsmarting Racism

Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More

Self-Opinions---Can Limit Our Lives

Dr. Phil says each of us has a personal "truth"... Read More

Really Scary Stuff

With the probable exception of some basic instincts ? or... Read More

Mind Power - Fact or Fiction? Prove It For Yourself In The Next 7 Minutes - Truly Awesome!

Who are you?We all know that we are composed of... Read More

As A Man Thinketh...

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More

The Art of Jiu-Jitsu

Using an opponent's force against them is the fundamental teaching... Read More

How Our Thoughts Create Mental Bugs

Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More

3 Little Words Equal More Power To You!

Life shouldn't be so complicated. Have you ever wondered why... Read More

Succeed with a Positive Mental Attitude

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... Read More

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More

Do You Love Yourself?

So, do you love yourself?Shouldn't really be a difficult question... Read More

How to Get Rid of Frustration and Self-Pity

I've yet to meet the person who never struggles with... Read More

Shifting Your Paradigm

What is a paradigm? In my own words, a paradigm... Read More

Sexual Abuse. A Story From A Survivor.

Uncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave... Read More

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More

Using Negative Experience to Discover Your Strength

"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you, hungry before... Read More

Positive Things To Do For Yourself

Being a mom can take a toll on your body,... Read More

5 Proven Ways to Safely Make Positive Life Changes

One of the most important aspects of living a healthy... Read More

Optimism, the Only Option for Success

People with negative attitudes may wonder why they never achieve... Read More

Short Cut to Self-Confidence: Say Yes to You!

You are the only one that can give confidence to... Read More