Forget Positive Thinking

There are always explanations for why things to you or others. Even though you might not understand why. Some of the time, when things happen that you do not wish for, you may be tempted to throw your arms in the and wish ...

But me! I just say 'Great'. You know why?

No, I am not one of the lucky few. I have learned a very life defining skill. And that is to maintain perspective. Of course you have heard about 'perspective'? Let us work on this together now, please.

Perspective is one of those influencers that are instrumental in shaping your reality. It is not the only influencer, but it does play a pretty crucial role.

You (and you alone) determine your perspective. Never mind what is happening out there. You are ultimately responsible for your outlook, because you can control your self-confidence, your self-talk, as well as your expectancies.

These three are the components of perspective. Success is much more possible when these three components are positive.

Yes, it might be raining out there and the sheriff might be knocking at your door. You might be faced with a bankruptcy and your most trusted partner might have just dumped you. But... what is important when these things happen is the climate/environment you are creating and maintaining in your head. Your glorious status might be history, but how about rewriting your future? And here's how...

Self-confidence

It is important for you to remember that your perceptions of reality changes depending on how you feel about yourself at any given moment. Got that? If you are full of confidence, you diminish the power of outside factors, and your internal reality is charged up with resourcefulness. 'What if my self-confidence is so low because of the failures I have experienced'? I hear you ask.

Focus on the fundamentals and basics. That is what you do. Make sure you master the fundamentals and basics of whatever it is that you want to do. And when you can do the fundamentals right, you have taken the first steps in increasing your self-confidence.

Step two involves making sure that you achieve small incremental victories. Little by little. From one small victory to the next 'little bit' bigger victory. It might be necessary at this stage to achieve as many 'baby victories' as possible. Until you feel more 'confident' to handle bigger situations. In NLP they call it 'small chunking'. Break down your challenge into smaller, manageable components. Achieve success in each little components. Haven't you heard how you eat an elephant?

Self-talk

What do you say to yourself and about yourself when you are under pressure? Think about a particular incident? Was what you were saying then helpful, resourceful or was it discouraging?

Watch your words, because they might have a tendency of sabotaging your efforts at building self-confidence.

Your words communicate one of two things. They either communicate images of failure and helplessness or they communicate images of success and resourcefulness. If you communicate helplessness to yourself, especially when you are under pressure, you are not doing yourself any favor. Which would you prefer while you are building your self-confidence: a rhetoric of past failures or a message of hope and resourcefulness?

You can change the tape you want to hear. You can change what you tell yourself by:

a. monitoring your self-talk
b. using positive, concrete language and
c. maintaining perspective.

Ok, the title of this discussion is 'Forget Positive Thinking'. I bet you my last penny, positive thinking does not work. Especially if you are under severe pressure.

For me what has worked is the practicality of building my self-confidence, monitoring my self-talk, and maintaining perspective.

Ke o agile uses http://inthezone.port5.com/2daedge.htm to stay current in his field and to gain a competitive edge. You can too! Any one can at http://inthesuccesszone.blogspot.com

---

Finding Meaning in Life: Three Steps

So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More

Being Assertive

Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether... Read More

The Power of Positive Thinking: Unlimited Possibilities

Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More

Overcoming Bad Moods

From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More

Your Best Defense Against Aging: Your Attitude To Life

In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More

Positive Thinking on Negativity

The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More

Just Another Day

During a Messenger chat session the other day, I asked... Read More

5 Tips To Keep Happy... Even In Wartime

The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.... Read More

Deep Doghouse Communication for Angry Men

Many times when an angry or rageful man comes into... Read More

Do You Believe What You Think?

If you work toward what you dream, the dream can... Read More

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More

Oh for a Really Good Day!

What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy... Read More

Developing Self-Esteem

It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More

Positive Thoughts and Words

You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More

The 5 Winning Beliefs To Accomplish Anything In Life

A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's... Read More

How Our Beliefs Narrow The Limits Of Our Possibilities

The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More

Beware: Your Mind is a Battle Field!

WhenWhen we have feelings for someone or something, we have... Read More

Creating an Emotional Retreat

Emotions have the tendency to take over our actions and... Read More

How to Cope With Your Inner Food Critic

Every day that I eat EnergyRich? Food, I get almost... Read More

Do You Neglect The Power Of Your Mind?

James Allen, who wrote the masterpiece, As a Man Thinketh,... Read More

Personal Assignments for Great Self-Esteem

Do you wish you had high self-confidence? Some of us... Read More

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More

A Recovering Ragers Creed

A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted... Read More

Looking For Answers In All The Wrong Places?

Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More

Words, Ignorance, And Casper The Friendly Ghost!

Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More

Change in the Workplace: Don?t Fear It; Use It!

Every day something changes at work: your products, your customers,... Read More

Positive Thinking: Are You Truly Being Positive?

Positive thinking in this day and age is a tool... Read More

Life as a Burden Vs. Live as a Privilege

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass... Read More

Our Worst Enemies

Most of us love to think that our problems are... Read More

Internet Tip of the Week: The Power of Positive Thinking

The late Norman Vincent Peale was a controversial preacher who... Read More

Notable Thoughts on Positive Living

I went online -- and what do I see? A... Read More

Keep Your Cool

Know your limits. Accept what you can't change and let... Read More

An Unquestionable, Positive Demeanor - How to Maintain it

Near the end of December 2004, I received an email... Read More