5 Ways to Absolutely Destroy Your Finances!

Ben Stein has a book called How to Ruin Your Finances. To be honest, I'm not sure an entire book is needed on the subject-there are some fairly quick and easy ways to accomplish the task. (Before continuing, let me be clear that I do not actually recommend such activities-This is a reductio absurdum argument, meant to spur an opposing realization.)

#1: Buy everything, yes, everything

You never know when a neighbor may come over to use your dish towels, so make sure they are Ralph Lauren, less than six months old, and all the same color. While you're at it, buy things that you don't need now, but may need in the future, such as eleven new sweaters, a top-of-the-line treadmill, and some bestselling novels (just in case you ever read the 38 already on your bookshelf).

#2: Charge all purchases

That way you can itemize all your spending, which is sort of like budgeting. When the bill comes each month, be consistent-pay only the minimum. If there's anything left at the end of the month, see #1.

#3: Don't be concerned about retirement

That's what Social Security is for! Our country is run by intelligent economists, and they'll make certain there's enough for you in 25 years.

#4: Buy a $4 million home, with 1% down, and a 30-year mortgage

Then, spend your entire working life paying it off. Don't worry if you haven't invested in anything else-you can sell the home when you reach 65, rapidly adjust your lifestyle to match your new one-bedroom condo, and live off the difference.

#5: Start being frugal 'tomorrow'

Please, finish your $7 mocha latte and go about your day. After all, this article was obviously written for the other guy!

© 2005 Matthew S. Clement, All rights reserved

Matthew S. Clement is a financial planner and investment advisor representative with Financial Network Investment Corporation, member SIPC. He provides holistic wealth management and retirement planning to individuals and businesses. He can be reached in New York at (845) 942-8578, or by email: ClementM@FinancialNetwork.com

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Why You Should Seek Professional Help With Asset Management

Everyone needs to maintain their lives. What I mean by... Read More

Identity Theft ? More Tips on How it Can Be Avoided

Recent security breaches at several credit card companies continue to... Read More

UK Parents Inactivity Harming Their Children?s Future University and Mortgage Savings

The British government at the beginning of this year officially... Read More

Your Dry Cleaner?s Double Standard

Women are charged more for dry cleaning services. Don't fume,... Read More

Want Your Savings to Earn a Higher Rate of Return? Try Internet Banking

Doesn't it seem like the only impressive numbers we've seen... Read More

Check Facts and Figures

Are you a check fanatic? Don't worry, you aren't alone.... Read More

When do You Need a Financial Management Company on Your Side?

We live in a crazy world. Someone ought to sell... Read More

Should You Borrow From Your 401(k) Account?

If you have a 401(k) account, it can be very... Read More

Budget Planning - Its Elementary My Dear Watson

Does it feel like you have to be Sherlock Holmes... Read More

Budgeting is Bothersome

It doesn't take much for you to get behind on... Read More

Estate Planning Basics

You have probably accomplished a great deal with your life.... Read More

What is ChexSystems?

Commonly referred to as the first of the three major... Read More

Budgeting Made Easy

Well, dang! From what I've heard and read, it looks... Read More

Understanding and Controlling Your Finances

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to... Read More

Strategies for Success

Holy Shenanigans! More STUFF?Loosing one's business due to lack of... Read More

Succession Planning

Have you ever thought about what you are going to... Read More

One Income Source Is Not Enough!

My personal opinion is that in today's new economy, it... Read More

Vesting and Your 401(k)

Do you have a 401(k) retirement account? Are you vested... Read More

What?s New in Checking ? From Designs to Photos

Just about everyone has a checking account. Checks present easy... Read More

How to Choose Wisely a Credit Card

So, you've made the decision to apply for a credit... Read More

Reduce College Debt with Scholarships

Six Scholarship judges were sitting around an oval table. Forms... Read More

UK Graduates Looking Short-Term At Their Long-Term Financial Responsibilities

With almost two thirds of university entrants from England and... Read More

How To Protect Yourself Against Identity Theft

Identity theft is a serious crime that continues to grow.... Read More

The Good and the Bad of Money Management

Good money management needn't be difficult. In fact, there a... Read More

Debt Management ? Watch Out for Bank Fees!

During the last twenty years, banks have offered a number... Read More

University: A Course in Personal Finance

Recent findings from the Educational Policy Institute indicated that the... Read More

Accessing Funds You Never Knew You Had- Household Utilities and Mortgage Expense Reduction Plan

For most of us the process of getting out of... Read More

Money Matters: Strengthen Your Marriage by Putting Finances in Order

Did you know that 43% of all married couples argue... Read More

More Money? My Cup Runneth Over...But Im Still Thirsty

Most of us, especially those of us who have debtor's... Read More

Eight Ways To Sink Yourself Financially

1. Don't focus on your finances.The reason most people get... Read More

Can You Afford Not To Look After Your Personal Finances?

Investing is a subject a lot of people don't want... Read More

The Origins of Check Writing

People haven't always written checks to buy goods and services.... Read More

Resources to Help You Learn About and Protect Yourself from Identity Theft

There is a new bill that is being passes, it... Read More