The first year of a child's life is the most crucial time for Dad's to be present and loving and hugging his child. According to clinicians in the first year of birth babies relate to behaviors not language.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to develop a strong relationship with their mother and with his children. Relationship is what separates the strong family from the dysfunctional family. A child needs a strong relationship with his/her father far more than he/she needs their father's resources.
Children need to have boundaries set by their father in order to know he cares. Father's need not be their child's best friend, particularly if it affects his ability to dole out punishment when appropriate. A father needs to be present at his children's extra-curricular activities. Doing so further strengthens the bond of their relationship and re-affirms the child of dad's support. Dad's need to assure their children that regardless of what error they may make, they need to come to him first: "I may not condone what you did, but you will have my unconditional love regardless. Please don't let me learn about an incident from another person."
When a father communicates with his children (communication does not equal lecture and communication implies two or more people engaged in conversation) they develop a stronger character and self-esteem. Studies have shown that when the father communicate effectively and accompanies his children to church they are much more likely to continue attending church as adults.
Positive feedback from a dad makes a huge difference. Example?Many young men in prison were told repeatedly by their dad that they were losers and would end up in jail someday. Conversely many successful athletes and professionals were constantly reminded of how good they were doing, what great potential they had and I'm here to help you be the best you can be?always.
I am not a sociologist or a clinician but I have 34 years of experience working with teens and pre-teens as a coach, teacher and mentor. I have successfully applied what I preach with my own children, Ann Marie (22, a teacher) and Anthony (16, an academic/athlete and mentor) who are my co-authors on the subject. We have spoken publicly at retreats, schools and churches. For more info visit our web site www.lunchbagnotes.com or call us at 818.991.8633.
Ann Marie is an Author and Speaker along with her dad, Al and brother, Anthony, who is a senior at Agoura Hills High School in Agoura Hills, CA. She is also a first time teacher; she will be teaching the 6th grade at St. Jude's Catholic School in Westlake Village, CA.
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Parenting |