Trip, Trip, Trip... Here Is Your Night Visitor Again!

Night Visits From Your Child

In the middle of the night you hear, trip, trip, trip and your bedroom door opens. It's not hard to imagine who it is and when you feel your little one climbing into your bed, you are sure.

Rest assured, this behavior is both common and healthy. Your toddler or preschooler is searching for comfort and security and you are the one in his or her mind that provides for it. Plus, nature has a built in mechanism that, almost automatically, causes you to provide for that need.

When you and or your toddler are really losing a lot of sleep because of these night visits, it's a different story. Using one of five proven methods to encourage your toddler to stay in his bed throughout the night. Find the one that works best for you by experimentation.

However, before I explain these methods, it's important to remember this: Don't send mixed messages to your toddler. Learn from the following example about a woman who very gently and responsibly taught her child to stay in his own bed all night.

Although she wanted her little one to sleep in his own bed, she also enjoyed the closeness with her child. What happened? She couldn't sleep and in the middle of the second night she got in the little ones bed! So, back to square one. Before you decide on a plan of action, get in touch with your own feelings about the matter. If there is one thing that children are very good at picking up, it is your uncertainty.

Have you ever told your child, No when he or she wanted a cookie? If you really meant no way, chances are that your child realized that No was the end of it, but if you thought, Oh well, one cookie.., then all was lost. Your child easily picked up your emotions through your hesitation. Children are experts in picking up your emotions! Therefore it is very important not to sent mixed messages. Know what you want and stick to it. If I got a dime for every time one of my childs started to "negotiate with me" (and often won), I would now have a nice sum in the bank.

Also consider:

  • Is your sleep or your partner's sleep interrupted because of your night visitor?
  • Are you and your partner still able to enjoy your privacy? Lack of privacy can be a killer for a relationship.
  • Do you really want your child to stay in his own bed or are outside pressures (school, neighbors, parents) the cause of your concern?

Lets say you and your partner agree that it's okay that baby stays in his own bed. So, how do you proceed?

  • Allow your child to come into your room at night, but you don't allow him in your bed. Tell him gently to go back to his own bed. If necessary, an intermediate solution is to set up a sleeping place for the child in your room.
  • Tell your child that it is okay to come to your room and get in bed only if the lights are on. An alternative is to set a radio timer and tell him or her that it's all right to come in if the music is playing.
  • Make it a privilege. Allow your child to sleep with you only during the weekends or other specified days. However, you may experience problems with this tip. First of all, the days of the week are not always clear to children and secondly (and again very important), you and your partner need private time. Still, fun in Mom and Dad's bed on Sunday mornings will create memories that will last your child a lifetime!
  • This one is difficult at first but often has a good result. If your little one comes in, gently tell him or her that he has to sleep in his own bed. Remember, it's safety and warmth with Mom and Dad that kids want. Bring your toddler back to his or her own bed and explain that you all need to sleep in your own beds, otherwise you'll all get grumpy. If the child returns, repeat the process. Bring your toddler lovingly back to his own bed and. do this without exception. Tell the child Mommy/Daddy loves you, but now it is night and we have to go to sleep. Rub your baby's back and you may even lay with him for a short while. Make exceptions only if your child is sick or extremely upset. However, even in this case, gently escorting your toddler back to bed may be enough.
  • Reward your child. Hang a calendar in plain view and for every night he or she stays in his own bed, mark the calendar with a cross or a sticker. To start, after three stickers reward the child with a special treat like a trip to McDonald's.
  • These methods are by no means the Holy Grail. Try those that suit you best and you will definitely notice a huge improvement.

    Always remember to be patient. In teaching little children, things often take longer than they do with adults. Whatever you do, be firm but loving. Don't leave your child out in the cold. Let your child know that his or her well-being is your main concern.

    Linda is mother of two, she is an inspired author of the Baby Strollers Guide and the Baby Products Guide

    In The News:


    pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Stroller Safety Tips

    Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More

    Hurting from the Outside - In: The Rise of Self-harming

    Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More

    How to Talk to Your Kids About Suicide: New Study Says it May Make Them Less Likely to Consider It!

    This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More

    ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend

    Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More

    Dad, Go Ahead and Cry

    She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More

    Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony

    Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More

    The Mystery of Child Beliefs, Spirit in Children, Understanding Spirtuality in Children

    In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More

    The Long Journey Home

    Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More

    Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First

    Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More

    How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

    Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

    Water! Water Everywhere!

    What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More

    How to Make a Time Capsule

    Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More

    6 Signs You?re A High Maintenance Parent

    The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More

    How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?

    Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More

    Remember The Generation Gap?

    The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More

    Co-sleeping, a personal story

    When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More

    Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary

    After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More

    Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

    I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men... Read More

    Identifying Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the Classroom: Eight Things Teachers Should

    Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More

    Planning the Ultimate Kid Birthday Party

    Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More

    What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity

    The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More

    Top Three Ways To Communicate With Your Child

    Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More

    Clean Slates and Fresh Starts

    Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More

    Paediatric Osteopathy

    All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

    When A Parent Is Deployed

    When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More

    Children are People, Not Machines

    When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More

    Why Scrapbooking Moms are the Secret Weapon in the War on Terror

    There is a front line and a back end to... Read More

    10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

    Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More

    Parenting Confidence - Who Needs It?

    It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More

    Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

    Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

    Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act

    The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More

    Hiking with Children

    There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More

    The 411 on Natural Colic Remedies

    Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More