Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks

I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:

There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her own company and was massively successful in business. Yet every single day, at 10am, she visited her elderly mother, who was in an old peoples' home. When asked if she could attend meetings at that time, she would reply, "I'm sorry, I've got to visit my mother". She sometimes resented the commitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but nevertheless answered, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit my mother."

One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked if she could make a meeting at 10am the following day. She started to reply, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit my mother", but of course quickly realised that this was no longer the case. Sadly, she realised that for many years she had been saying, "I've got to visit my mother" when what she

should have instead been saying was, "I get to visit my mother". She would never "get to" visit her mother again.

So how does the story relate to other situations? I have been surprised by how many times the story has seemed appropriate since I heard it, just a few weeks ago. It applies to so many different aspects of family and working life, from the large to the mundane. For example, I first told my son the story when he was complaining about some extra French classes he was having at weekends ("I can't believe I've got to go to the French tutor"). I explained that he is lucky to "get to" have the French classes: lucky that we care enough to notice he needs them, and lucky that we can afford to pay for them.

I thought of the story last night when my little girl was using every delaying tactic in the book about going to bed, and just refused to settle down. I caught myself thinking, "Oh no, I've got to go upstairs, miss the end of the television show I'm watching, and calm her down and settle her into bed" ? but quickly replaced the thought with something along the lines of "I'm lucky that I "get to" spend 5 quiet minutes with this funny, amazing little girl, even if I am tired and could do with some rest!"

And I thought of the story again just this morning when the beeper on my tumble dryer annoyed me into emptying my clean washing! I turned some very negative, lazy thinking around by reminding myself that I was lucky to have a tumble dryer, the clothes to put into it, and the family to be washing them for! It was still a chore but somehow it didn't seem such a bad one anymore.

My husband reminds himself of the story when the alarm clock goes off early in the morning and he struggles out of bed and to the train. He "gets to" go to work. Many people don't. And I think of it when I am sitting, uninspired, in front of my computer, wishing that I didn't have admin or website chores to do for Activity Village. The thought doesn't last long. I may have admin and website chores to do, but I also "get to" provide activities and inspiration to parents, teachers and children around the world every week. How lucky can I be?

Lindsay Small is the creator and editor of Activity Village.co.uk - providing the ultimate one-stop resource for parents and teachers looking to educate and entertain their kids. Visit the website at http://ww.ActivityVillage.co.uk or subscribe to the free newsletter at http://www.ActivityVillage.co.uk/free_ newsletter.co.uk

---

The Laid Back Parents Guide to Teaching Your Child to Read

At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More

What the Matter Is

When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More

Teaching Your Child To Lift a Car

Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More

Talk Your Child Clever

Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More

5 Ways To Tell If A Preschooler Is Living In Your House

1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More

Guide To Choosing Educational Toys For Children

In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More

Time To Connect With Your Teen

While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More

Playground Pettiness

Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More

Two Means Trouble

You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More

Parents Rights Violated By Public School Compulsory Attendence Laws

Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More

Joining a Gang: How to Help Kids Prevent it, How to Tell if Theyve Joined One, How to Help Them Out

While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More

So, My Child Has Been Recommended for Testing - What Do I Do Now?

You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More

Managing Your Stepfamily

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Do Math

Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More

Marriages May End But Families Are Forever

It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More

Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!

This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More

Time, Stress, and a Baby

The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More

6 Ways to Communicate Clearly with Your Teen

How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More

Successful Treatment Planning for Attention Deficit Disorder - ADD ADHD

O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More

Surprise ? Public School Class Size Doesnt Matter Very Much

School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More

Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child

If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More

10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More

The ADHD Parents Guide: Questions for the School

Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More

Assume Personal Responsibility? Who, Me?

As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More

Your Big Yellow Bus

The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More

Exams Cause Stress For Parents Too

When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More

Secrets from the Classroom: Avoiding Summer Learning Loss

In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More

More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting

Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More

Busy, Working Parents --- 22 Ways To Homeschool Your Kids

If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed

Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More

Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.

The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More

Role Models for Your Teen

By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More