Growing Good People

At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language coordination in response to what they hear through the mother's belly wall. Some 52 muscles learn to respond to the various phonemes (a basic language sound like 'b' in boy and 'm' in man) of the language surrounding that belly. There are also studies showing that the emotional state of the parent imprints as do things like music and other environmental conditions. Nutrition, drug use and pollution spill right through directly to the fetus via the placenta and umbilical cord. Parenting begins way before the bassinet.

At eighteen months, the child has a brain 1/3 the size of an adult but the same number of neural connections. These connections are called synapses and relay information ? outgoing from the nerve cell through axons, ingoing by way of dendrites. It is the number of connections of nerve cells that relates to intelligence, not the number of neurons.

As the brain grows, by age 6 we have about five times the neural connections we do as adults. These trillions upon trillions of connections are there waiting to be imprinted by the environment, parents and society. This is probably the reason, some 2000 years ago, the church started the sacraments at ages 6 or 7. (It is remarkable how so many 'new' scientific discoveries were anticipated by the intuitive traditions of, what we believe to be, unsophisticated minds of the past.) Beginning at about age 12, the fatty myelin sheath covering connecting neuronal tendrils not used, are literally dissolved, absorbed into the cerebrospinal fluid. Thus 80% of the neural brain mass present at age 6 is gone by age 14 as a result of disuse. Further belittling is the fact that of the remaining 20% of the brain, we only use 5%. That means, of our full potential, we only use about 1%! (For evolutionary materialists out there, please explain to me how something as complex as a brain ? infinitely more complex than anything humans have ever invented ? developed so that 80% of it could dissolve and 95% of what remains go unused.)

This 'devolution' of the brain applies to the neocortex, that big part of the brain with all the folds and grooves that humans are so proud of because that's where all our smarts (are supposed to) come from. The more 'primitive' parts of the brain, the 'reptilian' brainstem and limbic systems responsible for stimulus-response sorts of actions and emotion-cognition, remain intact and do not experience this loss. In other words, our ability for 'fight-flight' (running from predators), self-awareness (me, I, look at me), sex (fun stuff and children hatching), eating (wouldn't want to miss that) and road rage (essential in modern living) are never at risk, just our ability to be intelligent about all that base reptilian stuff is.

Nothing new here, right? Is it not clear which parts of the human brain are in full function today? Just watch a little television, listen to 'with it' music, go to some movies and pick up some of the tabloids at the grocery counter and you'll see the human brain stem has suffered no melt-down. But that 3-pound blob on top of it, the seat of intelligence, is evidently just filling up space.

What is primarily responsible for making and holding neural connections is not what we can beat into our kids with rules, instructions and performance pressures, but what they experience around them. At least 95% of the imprinting a child receives, neither the child nor the parents are aware of. Who we are emotionally, ethically and intellectually at our core in our day-to-day routines as parents ? not what we pretend or preach ? is picked up by the child as its most important lessons and is then 'neural connected.' So telling a child to be something we are not doesn't work. If we want better children, then we must be better people.

This also speaks to the importance of a loving and nurturing family nest. We learn love, in large part, by experiencing it. The erosion of the family in our libertine society thrusts the child into a peer group for imprinting. This begins with technological births in hospital wards, then continues with isolating infants in their own bedrooms, pseudofood in bottles with nipples, television, day-care, broken homes and on to public schooling?you know, the 'modern' way to rear kids. The premature unfolding of development is accelerated through exposure to adult themes pressing in from everywhere in our society. Menstruation is beginning in 8-year-old girls (partly the result of hormone-type pollutants in food), there is an outbreak of pregnancies in 9-year-olds, and violent sex crimes among children under the age of 10 are becoming common. Children are being thrust into full operational adult thinking way before they are capable of handling it properly. That is why some 70% of teenagers are functionally illiterate: they may be able to learn, but cannot grant meaning. They have not been properly imprinted, don't have sufficient life experience for context and don't have the neural connections.

So yes, the home, family and parents are responsible for the development of children. On the other hand, there is a lot of nature involved too. Any parent raising a child into adulthood will see that the child at 40 is pretty much identical to the child in earliest infancy. So don't be too quick to blame yourself for a child gone bad. Don't spend your fortune in therapy either, whining about how your parents didn't love you. We can lose important neural connections in childhood but once you realize who you are ? very early in childhood ? the ball is ultimately in your court. There are people with essentially no brain in their skull (compressed to a thin membrane from hydrocephalus) who excel intellectually and ethically. So, as an adult, buck up, take responsibility for yourself and make good use of the neural connections remaining. That's in your court. You are not a victim.

But the present circumstances for children are a peculiar situation with no historical precedent. There is no solution other than for the adults to not be distracted by the veneer of civilization, its glamour of modernity, and its amoral and libertine pressures. Even though we are left with 1% of our mental potential, we can make a lot of good use of that. It means reaching inside for the goodness that is there in our hearts and extending that to our fellow humans. It means not following the conscience of others but learning what is already within and being true to it. Children don't need money, videos, signature shoes and pressure for grades and sports performance. The inner needs of children don't care about being raised in a pigpen so long as there is love. If that critical emotional relationship is not there, children will seek it in peers, including the perverted, money grubbing, media models. Then we have the ethically blind (other children, brainless idols and profiteering media) leading our blind children. This is the proper incubator for the adults of the future? What then, particularly when everyone has been indoctrinated into thinking they are victims and any failure in life is the fault of somebody else? What a formula for the collapse of society!

The answer is that greatest of all intelligences, love. That is not a platitude. Love requires an expansive and wise mind. Even with the puny 1% of our brain that we use, the capacity for love is infinite. In the end, what else really matters anyway? In the process, by being a person of goodness and reaching out in this way to others, we become the perfect model for the development of a loving and well-adjusted child. And hardly a word needs to be spoken in the process.

Dr. Wysong is a former veterinary clinician and surgeon, college instructor in human anatomy, physiology and the origin of life, inventor of numerous medical, surgical, nutritional, athletic and fitness products and devices, research director for the present company by his name and founder of the philanthropic Wysong Institute. He is author of The Creation-Evolution Controversy now in its eleventh printing, a new two volume set on philosophy for living, several books on nutrition, prevention and health for people and animals and over 15 years of monthly health newsletters. He may be contacted at Wysong@Wysong.net and a free subscription to his e-Health Letter is available at http://www.wysong.net

---

Who Are Your Kids Talking To Online?

Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More

Watch Your Language! - How Parents Can Help Kids Help Themselves

'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More

Maximizing Your ADHD Childs Performance in School.

As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More

The Mystery of Child Beliefs, Spirit in Children, Understanding Spirtuality in Children

In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More

Power Foods for a Powerful School Lunch

There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More

How to Help Your Children to Blossom

I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More

How To Potty Train In Two Days

Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More

Are Public Schools A Menace To Your Kids? -- 11 Danger Signals

Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More

Keeping Your Children Safe

The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More

What Should I Know About Strattera for ADHD?

Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More

Why A Father Is Not A Dad

It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More

Anti Scooter Media Frenzy

An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More

When Kids Hurt Parents

The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More

Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment

The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More

Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More

Whos Teaching Your Child About Money?

Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid

4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More

Top 50 Mom Quotations

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More

I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

A Call For Fathers

Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More

Diaper Bags for Dads - Papas Got a Brand New Bag

Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More

Want To Further Your Childrens Studies?

Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More

Ready, Aim, Achieve! - Become An On-purpose Family Through Goal Setting

Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More

Is Your Child Learning Nothing?

You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More

A New Dad To Be? Deer in the headlights?

Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More

Raising Teenagers? Stay C.A.L.M.

Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More

First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More

Child Abuse - Survey & Comments

Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More

6 Signs You?re A High Maintenance Parent

The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More

Children Who Talk to Angels

What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More