The Thing with Quality Time

It's funny how people seem to think that they have spent quality time with their kids after work by bringing them out to the mall for a lifeless and meaningless stroll only to come home with nothing more than a whole bunch of stuff that they (or the kids) don't need. In fact, time has been wasted because kids don't NEED you to bring them out to the shopping mall to waste time. They want and NEED to be with you.

It's really funny because I used to think taking my kids out for a very casual window-shopping trip was meaningful too until someone pointed out to me that my kids were STILL closer to someone else (their daycaregiver) when compared to me. I mean, what is it with kids, anyway? I take them out, don't I? I try my best to give them whatever they want. I buy them presents, don't I? They have more clothes than me, don't they?

But here's the sad part?.that's not quality time.

Quality time with your kids is just staying home with absolutely nothing to do, just lolling around on the carpet watching 'Blue's Clues' or 'Sesame Street' together giving each other nonchalant kisses and exchanging hugs (and repeated reviews about the show). Spending quality time with the kids involve nothing more than just CONNECTING with the kids, not spending detached moments of dis-connectivity loitering through unfamiliar places. It's about spending time connecting with the kids when you KNOW you've GOT SOMETHING ELSE BETTER TO DO.

I spent one whole Friday thinking about what to do with the kids on Saturday and Sunday and end up with nothing. So, on the weekends, we spent hours in front of the TV coloring bananas, gorillas, and calculator on pieces of paper. We, then, took the bicycle to the park and cycled around. Joshua got scrapes on his knees and Jared was more than unhappy with the fact that his big brother made more 'sand castles' in the park than he did ? but we all came home knowing that we knew each other better.

You see, spending quality time with the kids is all about getting to know your kids. Making an effort to be there for them when you know you CAN be doing something else with your life. We know we can use that time to actually finish off the report or call that important client up ? but the most important thing with quality time with kids is that we DON'T.

© Marsha Maung 2005
Please feel free to reprint this article anywhere in your website, magazine, ezine, or other types of publications for free. Please note that you should keep the byline in tact and please provide links back to the web addresses provided in the byline. Thanks.

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from home. She designs apparel and premium items at http://www.creativejooz.com and http://www.allmomstuff.com and is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com

---

What About ADHD Teens and Driving?

This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More

Meet The Twixters!

There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Children, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More

Math Facts - Try Some Fun Ways to Learn Them

Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More

Teenagers and Trouble - How Parents Can Keep their Teens Out of Trouble

Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

The Worlds Greatest Dad

You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More

Joining a Gang: How to Help Kids Prevent it, How to Tell if Theyve Joined One, How to Help Them Out

While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

School Days - Top 10 Tips for Establishing a Good Routine

Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More

Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids

Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part three

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

How To Use Positive Child Discipline

I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More

The Benefits of Music Education

Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More

ADHD: Some Survival Strategies for Parents

In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More

Raising Boys

The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More

Every Mom Worries

Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More

Selecting and Hiring Childcare Employees

In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More

Parents/Teens and Money ? 5 Ideas for Keeping the Peace

Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More

Homeschooling --- A Superior Education For Your Child

Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More

Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers: 7 Universal Laws

1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More

A New Idea For Kids Party Parties: Hiring A Caricaturist Can Make Your Kids Party A Real Blast!

There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More

Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!

Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More

Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun

It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More

When Your Chicks Leave the Nest

When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More

Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence

Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More

?Mommy, I Can?t Sleep!?: Sleep Disturbance in Children

Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More