Pipe Down!

Life is funny.

My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new summer job as a nanny for three small children. She's an aspiring operatic soprano who was whisked off to a rich suburb near Manhattan the day after her finals had ended at the Eastman School of Music. Her mother and I miss her dreadfully. Thank God for our Family Talk Plan!

Last night, she called home and as we discussed my upcoming book signing at Borders, she called out, "You two need to pipe down and go to sleep! I don't want to hear one more peep out of you!"

I doubled over with laughter. The tears streamed down my cheeks. The tone and emphasis was identical to my own words uttered night after night to Melanie and her twin sister, Allison, when they were little. When she came back on the phone, she joined in my laughter.

"You know, Dad, it's weird. I'm turning into you and mom. I'm so strict, I'm worried all the time about them! I hear you in my own voice each time I talk to them! And when did I learn all the lyrics to these Raffi songs?"

I thought about her comments as I drove past Wal-Mart tonight. A mom and her two teenaged daughters walked directly in front of my van. They crossed the road without taking a second to check for traffic. I couldn't relate. Not one bit. I still put my hand in front of people's chests when we approach a road crossing. My friends get a bit annoyed with me, but old habits are hard to break

I was about thirty years old the first time I realized how much like my own father I'd become. I got up from a chair and grunted. Just like Dad. I walked across the floorboards with loud, heavy footfalls. Just like Dad. And I reacted to a glass of spilled juice with the same, "Argh!" Just like Dad.

This parenting thing and the cycles that propel us through life are puzzling. For the past twenty-two years, I've defined myself as a father. It was the all-encompassing label that described me. More than engineer, more than husband, more than passionate gardener, more than aspiring author ? it fit. Life was chauffeuring Jennifer to band practice, Allison to her dance lessons, and Melanie to play rehearsals. It was helping with homework, doing mountains of laundry, and trying to cook for an army on Sundays so we'd have nutritious, albeit monotonous, meals all week. It meant leaving work early to make Allison's cross country meets, designing tee shirts to promote the school musicals, and helping Jenn find a decent car for no money.

Now that my girls are women and my grandsons have arrived, I've begun to define myself as a grandfather. And I like it. A lot.

Like I said, life is funny.

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending "time" with the French Impressionists whenever possible.

Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his "two little buddies" to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. http://www.legardemysteries.com

---

Choosing a Daycare or Pre-School ? Top Ten Safety Tips

When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More

Teach Your Kids to Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs in the Future

We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More

The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue

Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More

Teenagers and What Parents Should Do About Them

Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Back to School Blues

Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More

Moms - Get More Energy Now

Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More

Back to School

It is hard to believe that summer is coming to... Read More

Help Your Children to Love Reading

It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More

Summer Camp Care Packages

Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

Drugs and Violence In Public Schools

Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

Using Cloth Nappies

We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds of Time with Family

How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More

Teacher Tips: Your Room Set-Up and ADHD Students

Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More

Tackle, Tackle

I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More

Safe From Strangers

There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More

The Top 5 Reasons Why Unwed-Parents Must Establish Paternity

"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More

Strategies to Help Boost Your Childs Self Esteem

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More

More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting

Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More

ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude

"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More

Detox To Help Conception

Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More

The Family Guy - Parenting From a Single Dads Perspective

It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More

5 Ways To Tell If A Preschooler Is Living In Your House

1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More

Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content

The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More