Every Mom Worries

Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother tells you (and tells you and tells you). You agree, judging by her slightly frazzled demeanor, that she could use a break. Maybe a trip to the gym. A date with her husband. Time to herself. So you recommend the great babysitter you've found. She responds with one of those "but-I-love-my-children" looks. And says something like: "Nobody can care for a child as well as her own mother."

Reality check: "A lot of mothers suffer incredible guilt about needing help to care for their children," Dr. Berger says. "And if Mom works full-time, the guilt is compounded. Every spare second, she figures, needs to be lavished on her kids." Trouble is, an overwhelmed mom isn't going to be on top of her game. Every parent (and every marriage) can benefit from the occasional kid-free outing. "It recharges your batteries and allows you to breathe in a different kind of atmosphere," Dr. Berger says. "When you take care of yourself, you take better care of your kids." And if you don't work outside the home, hiring the occasional sitter teaches your children that people other than you can provide them with care and safety. Besides, there's another bonus to getting away every now and then: When you return home, not only will you appreciate your kids even more, they'll appreciate you more too.

Cold Cop A one-woman germ patrol, this mom is always on the lookout for telltale signs of germs that can cause colds. When you're around her, you're forever fearing that your child may -- horrors! -- sniffle or cough, resulting in one of Mrs. Germophobe's nervous "you're-putting-my-children-at-risk" looks.

Reality check: The fact is that kids get an average of six colds a year, says Eric Neibart, M.D., an instructor of infectious disease and internal medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City. Thus, at any given time, a good 10 to 15 percent of your child's peers are contagious. And the culprits are impossible to detect, since colds are contagious a few days before symptoms appear and from two to ten days after. "Even a doctor can't tell you exactly when a cold is no longer transmittable," Dr. Neibart says. So unless you care to raise your child in a bubble, he's going to catch colds -- lots of colds. And that's okay. For the most part, colds are more of a nuisance for kids than a serious health problem. As for proper cold etiquette? Keep your child home until any fever or lethargy has subsided. Then, once he's feeling better, let him go about life as usual.

Mommy Einstein She plays Mozart CDs for her infant, uses flash cards on her toddler, and spends her week chauffeuring her children to and from karate, art, soccer, piano, ballet, and more. After an hour with one of her French-speaking, tennis-acing prodigies, you ditch your secret hope of an Ivy League education for your preschooler (whose extracurricular activities include playing "Princess Barbie Gets Married" and painting her shoes with nail polish).

Reality check: "There's simply no evidence that overexposing young children to flash cards, Mozart, or early-reading programs leads to higher intelligence or even better SAT scores," says child and adolescent psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., coauthor of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper- Parenting Trap. Yet our culture pressures concerned parents to begin early if they want their child to be academically competitive. "That attitude is doing much more harm than good," Dr. Rosenfeld says.

Sugar Shunner This mom enforces a strict no-sweets policy. No cookies, candy, or ice cream. Her idea of a "treat" is a granola-and-yogurt "sundae."

Reality check: Loading up on nutritionally void sugar calories isn't wise, but forbidding sugar entirely isn't the answer either, says Lynn Marotz, Ph.D., R.N., a professor of human development at the University of Kansas and coauthor of Health, Safety, and Nutrition for the Young Child. Completely restricting sugary foods can backfire big time: Instead of having a child who occasionally indulges his sweet tooth, you may create a kid obsessed with cookies, candy, and cake.

About The Author: Shelley Borle is a Virtual Assistant, Writer & Expert On Boys. Visit Her Country Variety Lifestyle Magazine http://www.countryvariety.com/CVL.htm as well as her CountryVariety.com Professional Virtual Services site http://www.countryvariety.com. Email shelley@countryvariety.com

---

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More

Facing the Homeschool Super Mom

I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More

A Mothers Love

Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More

What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?

We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Children, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More

7 Ways to Survive the Start of the School Year

It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More

What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity

The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More

Television - The Great SATAN!

I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More

What is Incest?

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More

3 Rules to Making TeensTechnology Work For You

Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More

Child ADHD - Deciding Where to Draw the Line

The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More

Difference

There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More

Surviving as a Single Parent

Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More

Avoid Weight Problems In Children

Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More

Send the Kids Outside!

Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content

The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

How Two Quarelling Kids Helped Invent the Better Behavior Wheel

When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More

Overscheduled Kids

Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More

How to Stop Bad Behavior Before it Starts

Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More

Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips

My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More

Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids

In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions

Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More

Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?

Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

Parents/Teens and Money ? 5 Ideas for Keeping the Peace

Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend

Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More